ichooseme Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 ...sent that one angry and hateful email to your ex after keeping NC for a a couple of months? Like let's say you ignored his/her txts, emails and then one day you were just writing away at a very hateful and angry email and accidentally sent it, instead of keeping it? I mean you keep the email to vent and then you kinda just keep it, it's a tool to cope and heal, but not something you should send. so anyways, if that happened, what did you feel? I mean it's an accident, so obviously your first reaction would be: "oh, sh*t!!! Nooooooo!!":eek: But then what? Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I dont think there is any reason to worry about. You have the right to express your feelings. Who cares what your ex think anymore right? Link to post Share on other sites
dng Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 so anyways, if that happened, what did you feel? I mean it's an accident, so obviously your first reaction would be: "oh, sh*t!!! Nooooooo!!":eek: But then what? Oh yeah, I've done that. I meant every word and I dont regret it. I took much abuse and I wasnt being fair to myself, felt I needed to correct that and man up to my feelings and to her. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t262528/ I dont even remember what I sent anymore and I dont care. At one point she told me "you went too far" and I said "I meant every word and still do". Get off my back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ichooseme Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 So, never any urge to kinda send another one saying: "oh, that wasn't supposed to be sent actually"? When I did it by accident, I had enough brainpower to block all her email adresses (so if ever replied it never got to my email), so i don't have to read her response, which I was really curious about for a couple of days and then realised it would probably hurt to read it. I mean a response could contain anything, really. Link to post Share on other sites
ccfan Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) I´ve been SO close to sent her a really angry email a couple times.. the more time that passes the more i realize how really bad, i mean really bad person she was with me and how i let her treat me that way over and over again... so yes, i might someday send her an email and get this out of my chest. In my case what makes its worse is that my ex is one of those really superficial, mean person that are convinced that since she mentions God a lot, she´s like an entity of light an harmony... but by far the most rotten person on the inside i´ve had the disgrace to have ever meet. Now... since you already did it... DO NOT send a second email apologizing or explaining whatever happened... just let this be. If your ex treated you like garbage, why would you have any consideration towards him/her?? I think that most of the time mean people continue to abuse and humiliate decent people simply beacuse nobody puts a stop to them, they are emotional bullies so sometimes is good to let the blood boil and tell them what they really are Edited June 14, 2011 by ccfan Link to post Share on other sites
Author ichooseme Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 I´ve been SO close to sent her a really angry email a couple times.. the more time that passes the more i realize how really bad, i mean really bad person she was with me and how i let her treat me that way over and over again... so yes, i might someday send her an email and get this out of my chest. In my case what makes its worse is that my ex is one of those really superficial, mean person that are convinced that since she mentions God a lot, she´s like an entity of light an harmony... but by far the most rotten person on the inside i´ve had the disgrace to have ever meet. Now... since you already did it... DO NOT send a second email apologizing or explaining whatever happened... just let this be. If your ex treated you like garbage, why would you have any consideration towards him/her?? I think that most of the time mean people continue to abuse and humiliate decent people simply beacuse nobody puts a stop to them, they are emotional bullies so sometimes is good to let the blood boil and tell them what they really are Yeah, I thankfully have friends who supported me throughout the process and also stopped me from sending another one. You're right, we don't need to consider their feelings if they're the dumper and didn't appreciate us during a relationship. I definitely felt a relief after that accidental email send:), it was like: "wow... i actually feel good, that ***** finally knows how I REALLY feel, none of that pretend niceness" and went on with my life! Link to post Share on other sites
ccfan Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) Yeah, I thankfully have friends who supported me throughout the process and also stopped me from sending another one. You're right, we don't need to consider their feelings if they're the dumper and didn't appreciate us during a relationship. I definitely felt a relief after that accidental email send:), it was like: "wow... i actually feel good, that ***** finally knows how I REALLY feel, none of that pretend niceness" and went on with my life! That´s the part that really bothers me, the fake "niceness" that most dumpers want to impose.... or the "beautiful" words they say while dumping us just to feel good about themselves. After my ex sistematically destroyed my self steem at all levels, she said when dumping me, that "sorry it didnt work, but this was a magic exeperience and i lived so many beautiful things with you" .... and me like a fool was more concentrated in begging her to come back that to tell her what she really was.... hence 9 months later i still get mad and feel like i havent completed the cicle. Glad to hear that you did and that now you can move on... granted the email will probably not do much as mean people will always find an excuse to dodge reality, but at least you got it out of your chest Edited June 14, 2011 by ccfan Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 That´s the part that really bothers me, the fake "niceness" that most dumpers want to impose.... or the "beautiful" words they say while dumping us just to feel good about themselves. After my ex sistematically destroyed my self steem at all levels, she said when dumping me, that "sorry it didnt work, but this was a magic exeperience and i lived so many beautiful things with you" .... and me like a fool was more concentrated in begging her to come back that to tell her what she really was.... hence 9 months later i still get mad and feel like i havent completed the cicle. Glad to hear that you did and that now you can move on... granted the email will probably not do much as mean people will always find an excuse to dodge reality, but at least you got it out of your chest Atleast you got a dumper trying to be nice. My ex was completely hostile and verbally abusive. Really hard to take in when you're being dumped completely out of the blue. OP I've lost count how many times I wanted to send an angry letter to my ex. Especially after how cruelly he dumped me. Link to post Share on other sites
NicoleM Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I have. Did it do any good?? Nope of course not..... At least I let it all out though right?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ichooseme Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 ccfan, I get what you mean with the whole "niceness" thing by both dumpers and dumpees who sort of try to be adult about it and be nice and "civil"...But that later on does eat you from inside for some reason...for me it was no different, self-esteem destroyed and had to be rebuilt from ground up and still not finished after 2 months NC. Not even close... Sugarkane, I feel relieved now even though it was an accident, maybe i convinced myself that the accident was for a reason and let it go. But to be honest, if I had a chance to take the letter back, i would! So better to not send it if you still haven't. NicoleM, How can you say it didn't do any good? You got it out, be free for a little while~ Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I've done that, I broke NC a numerous times before sticking to it. Since I did it, i guess no point for me regretting it. Though, I would advice to people not to do it because it makes me feel sad and depressed again after sending that e-mail to my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ichooseme Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 I've done that, I broke NC a numerous times before sticking to it. Since I did it, i guess no point for me regretting it. Though, I would advice to people not to do it because it makes me feel sad and depressed again after sending that e-mail to my ex. did he ever reply to your emails? and if yes, is that the reason that it makes you sad and depressed? I'm asking, because I have no idea if my ex even replied, because I immediately blocked all her email adresses from reaching me~ Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I send a few.... some he replied, some he don't. Those he replied are basically in this manner. " Thank you very much for everything you have done for me." " I know we can work things out but we are destined to fail." " It's too late." And those times when I sent the e-mail, I always had this feeling of "Will he reply me or not." So after awhile, I realized the best is, never to initiate any contact to him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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