moimeme Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 OK, bad Shakey ripoff, but heck, it's Friday. I've been thinking of posting this one for a while, but a couple recent other threads sort of have set the stage. My question: What do you seek; to love or to be loved? Do you need most to be the recipient or the bestower of affecton? And of course everyone would like some of each but is one the stonger wish for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Both are vital for me, to love and to be loved in return. To be loved the way that I love. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Be loved. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 i think loving is more essential to me than being loved. i'll suffer if not loved in return, but i'd rather have the feelings. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Being loved has no meaning and isn't dependable. The love you give is the only love you feel. When you make reciprosity part of the equation, you're in trouble. It's great when it works both ways but you never feel love that is directed at you...only the love you direct outward. Sending love outward feels best and is most dependable. Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaSongbird Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Merry!! If you are going to post a question, you have to answer it, too! That's the rule. Well I just made it up but I still think it's a good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
bella8464 Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Someone once told me, you marry the person that's crazy in love with you and not the person you are crazy in love with. I'm torn on this one. There's nothing better than having a partner that adores you and loves you above all else. However, those feelings are almost a waste on their part if you don't feel the same. BUT, nothing hurts more than loving someone with all your heart, knowing that the person you love doesn't feel the same in return. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Originally posted by GeorgiaSongbird If you are going to post a question, you have to answer it, too! She waits until we've posted our answers, so that her almighty opinion won't sway us Anyway, for me, neither means much without the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moimeme Posted April 17, 2004 Author Share Posted April 17, 2004 so that her almighty opinion won't sway us I try not to send the thread in any particular direction, wretch! LOL Some of the folks on the 'what are you missing' thread said they would like to be loved so I was just wondering if there's people who felt they needed one more than the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted April 17, 2004 Moderators Share Posted April 17, 2004 For me, The most fulfilling part is the giving of love. The effect it has on people is almost always positive, and immediate. The payoff of just doing the loving is immeasurable to me. Nonetheless, when that love comes back in return, well, it is extremely special. "It is in loving that we are loved..." Curt Link to post Share on other sites
freebird Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 I agree with Curt - well said! I think when you love you are being loved. I know when I love someone, I feel loved back simply from feeling so good about caring for someone else. It's kind of like my dog - he just loves me so much - I don't even think he thinks about it! He's always happy, always there and I can't help but love him back. I don't think you can love and not be loved back cuz it's YOUR OWN spirit that's loving ya back. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Me too I love that - feeling you're inlove that is. Best feeling on Earth - or on the top, anyway. Feeling I'm being loved is special too, the feeling I'm treasured, appreciated etc. It's just trying the feeling of loving somebody I find mind blowing. You became much more analytical towards yourself, see the world as a fuzzy nice place, discover the goodness in people - or see it easier, "makes you wanna be a better person" (had to use this line one day!!!). Riskier business too Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 If I don't feel love coming OUT of my heart for someone.....their love trying to come IN is blocked. It becomes a moot point. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 I dont think I can separate the two, and make a distinction. I long to be loved and nurtured and protected though, that I can admit. But by someone I love! There is a great feeling when you love and give to another. Link to post Share on other sites
Timbo Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 To love is definitely the more tangible and meaningful of the two for me. Same with giving/getting. Ever shown up to a christmas party when you had a short year and all of the gifts you get totally own and you only managed to buy paultry gifts? It's a hollow, terrible feeling. When you show up with fantastic gifts for everyone, now THAT is sheer bliss. I realize that my example on giving/getting is rather materialistic and shallow, but I think it does illustrate what I think/feel on the subject anyhow. Just my 1 cent (<--might be a short year! ) Tim Link to post Share on other sites
Author moimeme Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 The reason I asked the question is that I realized that my need is not to be loved but to love. I was wondering if it was odd or something but it seems not. All I know is I have a large amount of love available for the right taker. I agree with Tony that 'sending love outward feels best'. Thanks for the interesting replies so far Link to post Share on other sites
echocrush Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 I love to love... I like doing things for other people and I don't give much thought to returns. The only problem I've noticed is after awhile I give so much I run out of love to give. If I don't get some kind of refill I start to feel empty. Maybe I love too much, maybe i love the wrong people... or maybe I just have a limited supply of love. It doesn't take much to refill me, but I have had to walk away from more than a few relationships after giving all I could and running dry too long. I never seem to learn from it, and it takes me years to run dry... but I still go into the next one loving with all I've got. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 It is hard not to become a bit jaded sometimes isn't? I also give lots. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 What is important to me is to love. Of course if I'm loved back is *way* better. But then, again, if I have to choose from loving and being hurt by the other person's behaviour, and being loved while not loving back in the same way, I'm going for the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
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