Scarlett77 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I am new here. Can't talk too much about my situation, as it reads like a jaquie Collins novel. Anyway, am in a LTR ( 14 years) with someone., who I love very much. I won't go into the details, as he is famous, as am I( or maybe infamous is the word now). I have last week broken it of with the MM I was having an affair with. I did this as I feel I could no longer deal with the lies and secrecy. I love him, he loves me. Neither of us expects to live happily ever after with each other. I know he is hurting from me cutting it. I told him it was coming. I need help to become strong, for him and me. What we did was not wrong, I just need someone to help give me the strength not to email him, and drag him and I back into it. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scarlett77 Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Not everyone who posts here is full of ****. Some of us are hurting, and trying to find a way through. I was hesitant to post here because if all the bull**** I found. Sorry for reaching out, not all if us are internet Wankers. Thanks for teaching me a lesson . Goodby. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scarlett77 Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Get. A . Life. Women like you make embarresed to be a women. No wonder men have affairs, it's not about sex. It's about kindness and respect. So very , very sory for a woman like you that has became so hard, and ignorant. But let ne guess, you've always been this dumb:)) Cheers dears. Xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I am new here. Can't talk too much about my situation, as it reads like a jaquie Collins novel. Anyway, am in a LTR ( 14 years) with someone., who I love very much. I won't go into the details, as he is famous, as am I( or maybe infamous is the word now). I have last week broken it of with the MM I was having an affair with. I did this as I feel I could no longer deal with the lies and secrecy. I love him, he loves me. Neither of us expects to live happily ever after with each other. I know he is hurting from me cutting it. I told him it was coming. I need help to become strong, for him and me. What we did was not wrong, I just need someone to help give me the strength not to email him, and drag him and I back into it. Thank you. I recommend starting a journal and keep posting here when you have the urge to contact him. Use the journal to vent as if you are speaking to him, BUT do not send. By the end of each entry, you will find the answers you are seeking at that particular moment. Best wishes on your journey! Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I am new here. Can't talk too much about my situation, as it reads like a jaquie Collins novel. Anyway, am in a LTR ( 14 years) with someone., who I love very much. I won't go into the details, as he is famous, as am I( or maybe infamous is the word now). I have last week broken it of with the MM I was having an affair with. I did this as I feel I could no longer deal with the lies and secrecy. I love him, he loves me. Neither of us expects to live happily ever after with each other. I know he is hurting from me cutting it. I told him it was coming. I need help to become strong, for him and me. What we did was not wrong, I just need someone to help give me the strength not to email him, and drag him and I back into it. Thank you. If it wasn't wrong why end it? And why why keep it secret? Not tracking you there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scarlett77 Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 I meant to say, it was wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 Thanks Scarlett for this post! You have affirmed that I definitely need glasses for I see no text by a Green Goddess, but I did read your defensive remarks and it brought bad vibes my way for this entire matter. Yeah aren't typo's a hoot! Sorta how the liason was a typo . I'm going to surmise english is not your native tongue? Link to post Share on other sites
Amour7 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 It seems lately that when OW come here asking for "support" as is the intention of the forum, they get a lot of replies from people quick to bash them. Not all BS do this; in fact, many offer very valuable insight. However, I would suggest that those more sympathetic/empathetic to the difficult emotional experience of OWs start posting in response to those asking for help. Often an OW feels very isolated in the experience of the A and could desperately use support from people who understand. This actually can help them move out of the A, IMO, a lot more effectively than posts from people telling the OP how wrong she is for being involved in the first place. I've been away for a while just trying to get my bearings as I trudge through NC. It's been 3.5 weeks now. So, Scarlett, I am not in the best position to offer you wisdom about "making it to the other side," but I am a former OW and can tell you that breaking ties with the MM can be done. It's painful, yes, but people will tell you that it gets better. The best thing I did was cut off all communication- block his number, move the hidden key he knew about, etc. It has been freeing to know that when the phone rings or I get a text, it won't be from him. Best of luck to you, and keep posting. There's a way to "ignore" posts from posters that you don't find helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 I need help to become strong, for him and me. What we did was not wrong, I just need someone to help give me the strength not to email him, and drag him and I back into it. Thank you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Read the first few pages.. Hopefully this will make you stop and realize that contacting him will only do damage to you and make you feel bad/sad/hurt. If you truly want to rid of him, you will do everything to make it impossible for him to contact you. Change your email address. Change your cell number. Delete all his information too so you won't be tempted to reach out. Avoid places where you know he'll be (for a while and until you feel stronger).. Be with friends and family, distraction is good. Try new hobbies, things that you're passionate about, things you enjoy. Pamper yourself! Buy some clothes, get a new haircut, anything to make you feel good.. Allow yourself a certain amount of time each day to grieve and cry the loss of what you shared with your affair partner and just know that as time goes on, it'll get easier.. Healing takes place only if you let it, but you have to ride out the painful wave(s) of sadness and sorrow.. Know that things are OVER and that it's final. You can do this, so when things are rough, post here. Vent it out and read others stories to help you cope. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 It seems lately that when OW come here asking for "support" as is the intention of the forum, they get a lot of replies from people quick to bash them. Not all BS do this; in fact, many offer very valuable insight. However, I would suggest that those more sympathetic/empathetic to the difficult emotional experience of OWs start posting in response to those asking for help. Often an OW feels very isolated in the experience of the A and could desperately use support from people who understand. This actually can help them move out of the A, IMO, a lot more effectively than posts from people telling the OP how wrong she is for being involved in the first place. I've been away for a while just trying to get my bearings as I trudge through NC. It's been 3.5 weeks now. So, Scarlett, I am not in the best position to offer you wisdom about "making it to the other side," but I am a former OW and can tell you that breaking ties with the MM can be done. It's painful, yes, but people will tell you that it gets better. The best thing I did was cut off all communication- block his number, move the hidden key he knew about, etc. It has been freeing to know that when the phone rings or I get a text, it won't be from him. Best of luck to you, and keep posting. There's a way to "ignore" posts from posters that you don't find helpful. For the most part your post is sensible- an experienced person who can share the wisdom is sometimes suited. Luckily we have freedom of speech here and some folks are more straight up and to the point. Sugar coating and being anything less then realistic is counter productive to the overall matter at hand. Some OW actually end up with the love of their life, so its hard to be supportive in endorsing the No Contact verses being unbias on the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scarlett77 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 I am sorry if I got mixed up with what I saw as your reply( which seems to have been deleted.) And Taylor, as has been mentioned, I came here looking for suport, and reacted ( overacted?)to what I felt was a personal sarcastic attack, whilst in the midst of pain. English is my first language, I am using my iPhone, which often changes things. My remarks below were uncalled for, and I apologize. Armour 7 thank you very much for your understanding, and compassion. Xx I broke the NC last night, actually. We are friends, supportive of each other, rarely physically see each other,occasionally work together, and it doesn't feel right for me to cut it at this stage. Time will tell if I have made the right decision. Thank you to all the people who offered advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts