No affection/attention from wife. !

[wezol]

Hope to make this fairly short. It's being typed from an iPhone, please bare with me.

 

My wifes attention and affection has really dwindled over the last 8 months or so, starting about 6 months after returning from Afghanistan. I believe it's due to my weight, and I'll explain. When I was overseas, my weight dropped to 135-140ish from lack of food/stress/constantly on the move. When I got home, I ate. After about 5-6 months home my weight got up to 165, I'm 5,7". I changed my diet, but because of many bulging discs and nerve damage, I cannot do any extended exercise, therefore I have a small belly, nothing major!

 

She constantly pokes fun at me for it, shows no affection unless initiated by me, even then she acts like I'm interrupting her. A few weeks ago it was the morning of me leaving for the field for a few weeks, and I wanted a GOOD kiss, as I only get pecks, and she acted annoyed that I woke her up.

 

We don't spend any time together, her horses, pets, friends come first. I brought this up and we decided to do date night once a week. That lasted one week....I got so frustrated of lack of quality time with my wife she said I could tag along to "girls night", since another girls husband goes too. So I did! That's what it has resorts to, just to spend time with my wife.

 

Here's the thing that really slapped me in the face. First off, my wife rides horses when she gets off work till after dark. When she gets home she is too tired to hang out and spend time with me, and goes to bed, around 10ish. Now, the Friday night after I leave, she rides till about 9pm, the. Hangs out with the new guy neighbors and some girls, parties, and stays up talking until 4am! I've tried many times to get her to drink with me, stay up with me, etc and I get denied. Then as soon as I leave she has the energy to stay out til 4am, and stayed out until midnight for multiple nights in a row, even on work nights. I'm not a boring guy, and have never stopped her from partying. I've tried to GET her tinand she won't. Im also not the type to buzz kill when we do go hang out with friends, it's usually me trying get her to loosen up and have fun.

 

She then made a flirty comment on one of the guys pictures taken that night. The comment itself was meaningless, but it hurt because she gave more attention to that guy with that one comment, than I've gotten from her on Facebook in 8 months. If you looked at recent photos/comments made on there, you wouldn't even know I existed if it weren't for her relationship status. She never does the "miss my husband", and actually I'm never even mentioned in her status's even when im gone for days or weeks. BTW, I do not have a Facebook.

 

I've tried backing off, lettin her come to me, didn't work. It just made me lonelier. We don't have sex but once a month, and it's guilt sex. This has ruined my self esteem and made me into an insecure person, which is someone I've never been.

Help!

Edited June 11, 2011 by wezol

[wezol]

Another thing I forgot to mention, that's bugs me in the sense that my wife doesn't seem to think like a partner, but more of a single person, or give me credit where credits due.

 

Recent example. We bought an 06 Ford diesel that started giving us problems, so we got it fixed. Well while talking to a male friend of hers, all of a sudden it was her truck, not OURS, and it was HER that got it fixed, when in reality it was me that worked for 4 days tearing down the top end of the motor to get it fixed, as to save us the $3,500 it would of cost us to have it done.

 

That's just one example. Very rarely is it "US",and even more rarely do I get credit for things I do. Another example, it froze over and all the outside water lines were frozen as well. So I carried water in single gallon buckets out to the barn to give water to the horses for 1 1/2 hrs in 15 degree weather. But because she was outside with me or ten minutes, she told her father on the phone that she was tired from lugging water to the horses. That makes me look like ****, cause I'm sure he thought "where was your husband at when you were doing this?"

[Art_Critic]

wezol.. it might be time for a re-think on this relationship.

 

Both sides have needs to be met.. and I'm not just talking about sexual needs but emotional ones.

If your wife isn't giving you what you require to be happy then it might be time to look at that harder to figure out what to do.

 

She sounds like she ran a single life even though you were deployed.

I guess in reality you want that from your wife.. being that you can't be around you want her to be independent but it sounds like maybe when you came back home that she didn't yearn to lose some of that independence.

 

Have you set her down and really talked with her about how you feel ?

You seem to have a pretty could grasp of your feelings and honestly you can;t expect her to read your mind..

 

 

By the way.. thanks for all you do and have done for us while serving..

[quankanne]

there's a phrase that's used by the Marriage Encounter program, called "married singles." That means a couple is married, but one or both partners are living a "singles" lifestyle. And that's what it sounds like is going on with your wife.

 

first off, THANK YOU for your service to this country, especially for serving such a tough assignment like Afghanistan. I come from a military family, and married into one, so servicemen/women are close to my heart because you do jobs no one else wants to step up for.

 

back to the original post now: It sounds like maybe your wife got used to living a certain lifestyle while you were on assignment and refuses to go back to being a married woman now that you're back. Been there, and can say that it sometimes takes awhile to shift from one way of living to another one, but it can be done *if* both parties are willing to work on the relationship and learning how to blend lifestyles again.

 

how old is she? How long have y'all been married? Was she like this while you were dating? What are you willing to do to make the relationship work (as in communicate with her that you need to get involved in a marriage enrichment program – we did Marriage Encounter, which was offered through my church – or even go to couples counseling to get you back on track)? Also, is there any kind of counseling you can tap into on base to help you readjust to being back in a civilian world? It very well may cover the kind of situation you're talking to, and help give you ideas to work with while helping you understand that there's not necessarily anything wrong with you, just that you need to rethink the gameplan of your marriage because you two have experienced something many marriages haven't.

 

I'm pulling for you, Weez, so don't get disheartened :love:

 

oh, and the small belly? Just a little bit more to love on, as I see it!

[wezol]

wezol.. it might be time for a re-think on this relationship.

 

Both sides have needs to be met.. and I'm not just talking about sexual needs but emotional ones.

If your wife isn't giving you what you require to be happy then it might be time to look at that harder to figure out what to do.

 

She sounds like she ran a single life even though you were deployed.

I guess in reality you want that from your wife.. being that you can't be around you want her to be independent but it sounds like maybe when you came back home that she didn't yearn to lose some of that independence.

 

Have you set her down and really talked with her about how you feel ?

You seem to have a pretty could grasp of your feelings and honestly you can;t expect her to read your mind..

 

 

By the way.. thanks for all you do and have done for us while serving..

 

Thank you.

 

We have had this three times in the last few months. Things change for a few weeks. I have told her that it's taking a toll in my self esteem. Last night, when insaw that flirtatious comment, was the last straw. Granted, the comment was NOT an over the line comment, but it hurt because some guy she just met is getting more attention than myself.

 

I hate ultimatums, but I texted her last night and told her exactly how I felt, told her that her words mean nothing and that if she does not SHOW me how she feels about me, than I'll show her the door. There were more curse words thrown in there, but that's the down and dirty of it. I could of gone about I better, but I'm past calm, I'm past talking, I need action.

 

I told her how I felt a long time ago and what it was doing to my self esteem and self worth. She knows.....but continued on anyway.

 

I'll be home in a week, I hope it goes well.....

 

How should I handle it?

 

FWIW, I told her that I did not (and Ill follow through) want to talk to her until I come. I've never not spoken with her for days on end, but it's time for things to change.

[wezol]

there's a phrase that's used by the Marriage Encounter program, called "married singles." That means a couple is married, but one or both partners are living a "singles" lifestyle. And that's what it sounds like is going on with your wife.

 

first off, THANK YOU for your service to this country, especially for serving such a tough assignment like Afghanistan. I come from a military family, and married into one, so servicemen/women are close to my heart because you do jobs no one else wants to step up for.

 

back to the original post now: It sounds like maybe your wife got used to living a certain lifestyle while you were on assignment and refuses to go back to being a married woman now that you're back. Been there, and can say that it sometimes takes awhile to shift from one way of living to another one, but it can be done *if* both parties are willing to work on the relationship and learning how to blend lifestyles again.

 

how old is she? How long have y'all been married? Was she like this while you were dating? What are you willing to do to make the relationship work (as in communicate with her that you need to get involved in a marriage enrichment program – we did Marriage Encounter, which was offered through my church – or even go to couples counseling to get you back on track)? Also, is there any kind of counseling you can tap into on base to help you readjust to being back in a civilian world? It very well may cover the kind of situation you're talking to, and help give you ideas to work with while helping you understand that there's not necessarily anything wrong with you, just that you need to rethink the gameplan of your marriage because you two have experienced something many marriages haven't.

 

I'm pulling for you, Weez, so don't get disheartened :love:

 

oh, and the small belly? Just a little bit more to love on, as I see it!

 

Thank for the kind words. Agian, bare with me, damn iPhone spelling....

 

I have been home for two years, that should be plenty of time to adjust. I myself have my own set of problems, dealing with PTSD, but am seeing a mental health guy with the VA.

 

I'm all for having separate lives outside the marriage, to ENHANCE the marriage, but I begin to have problems when it starts to have a massive negative impact in the marriage.

[SoleMate]

Assuming your report is fair and balanced, then I am afraid your r/s is one-sided. She is not giving you what you expect in a marriage. (I can't quite tell whether you're giving her what she expects.) Also, she is not fair or honest when she takes credit with others, for what you have accomplished.

 

Was she like this before marriage? If so, marriage was a mistake. If not, when did she change, and do you have idea of why?

 

Have you sat her down to discuss what you need for marriage to work for you?

 

And why do you spend 1.5 hours hauling water for her horses? Or are they yours too?

[wezol]

Assuming your report is fair and balanced, then I am afraid your r/s is one-sided. She is not giving you what you expect in a marriage. (I can't quite tell whether you're giving her what she expects.) Also, she is not fair or honest when she takes credit with others, for what you have accomplished.

 

Was she like this before marriage? If so, marriage was a mistake. If not, when did she change, and do you have idea of why?

 

Have you sat her down to discuss what you need for marriage to work for you?

 

And why do you spend 1.5 hours hauling water for her horses? Or are they yours too?

 

I see the animals as our responsibility. Plus, being the man of the house, I'm not going to make my wife haul water in 15 degree weather. She tried and tried to suck it up, but I sent her inside.

 

I'm trying to be as fair as I can, I mean, I'm not perfect. I had some pretty bad anger problems, not physical, but I would take sadness, depression, stress, and turn it to anger. It was a habit picked up overseas that can keep you alive, but doesn't bode well at home. I've been getting much better, and have been getting help. It actually all started when I started getting a belly. She started poking fun a little, then it got to be all the time, then the sex died off, and the disgust started. Then from there it's like she's annoyed by me hugging and wanting to kiss her. Especially if we are in public.

 

I can't and will not take so much as another month of this, if I dont see her actively commit to fixing our marriage with me. I'm willing to do anything within reason (can't spend hundreds of dollars), counselor, military one source, etc. Although last year when I tried to get her to see a counselor with me for her insecurity problems (I wanted for us to both go, so I could fix anything I was doing wrong as well) she said no.

 

This time, it's different. I'm to the point of kicking her out if it comes down to it. I love her more than anything, except for one thing tha I value more than her, and thats my sanity.

 

We have been together for almost six years. She was with me before I joined the Army, we got engaged, but we agreed not to marry until after I returned from my deployment. We will be married 2 years this coming July.

 

I'm 24 and she is 23. We met in college, she got her degree and I'm still working on mine.

Edited June 11, 2011 by wezol

[SoleMate]

...I had some pretty bad anger problems, not physical, but I would take sadness, depression, stress, and turn it to anger...

This may be a big part of why she is acting less loving. Anger and resulting emotional abuse can destroy love.

 

The fact that the anger is "not physical" may mean the cops and courts will not get involved, but unfortunately, it does nothing to protect your relationship and your wife's feelings for you.

 

...[the anger] was a habit picked up overseas that can keep you alive, but doesn't bode well at home...

Right. Many members of the military have a similar problem. I would recommend owning this problem and working on it.

 

I tried to get her to see a counselor with me for her insecurity problems...she said no.

I really think you should start working on your OWN issues and get ahead on those, before you start demanding that she attend counseling.

 

I'm willing to do anything within reason (can't spend hundreds of dollars)....

Then get some anger management counseling, and also take steps to understand the story from her point of view. And be aware that divorce is a lot more expensive than counseling.

 

I can't and will not take so much as another month of this, if I dont see her actively commit to fixing our marriage with me....I'm to the point of kicking her out if it comes down to it. I love her more than anything....

Loving her more than anything should mean you give her more than 1 month to work on problems...especially when you admit you have your own that also need work.

 

Why not try to change your marriage unilaterally? It is your best chance for recovering love. Whatever you've been doing to make her improve is not working.

[wezol]

This may be a big part of why she is acting less loving. Anger and resulting emotional abuse can destroy love.

 

The fact that the anger is "not physical" may mean the cops and courts will not get involved, but unfortunately, it does nothing to protect your relationship and your wife's feelings for you.

 

 

Right. Many members of the military have a similar problem. I would recommend owning this problem and working on it.

 

 

I really think you should start working on your OWN issues and get ahead on those, before you start demanding that she attend counseling.

 

 

Then get some anger management counseling, and also take steps to understand the story from her point of view. And be aware that divorce is a lot more expensive than counseling.

 

 

Loving her more than anything should mean you give her more than 1 month to work on problems...especially when you admit you have your own that also need work.

 

Why not try to change your marriage unilaterally? It is your best chance for recovering love. Whatever you've been doing to make her improve is not working.

I do own my anger problems and have been getting help for PTSD for 6 months now. Its helped tremendously.

 

I think the one month thing came across wrong. I just want to see ONE action in a months time that shows me she wants to genuinely try. Not a month to fix.

 

I'm afraid this is the last time I can put up with her saying one thing and doing another.

[wezol]

split up somethin sketchy is going on man smells like shes cock huntin that dude you should split up and then come to me so we can get you into shape and back into gettin the wimminz

 

While I applaud your attempt at a productive post, I'm certain my wife is not cheating, if I thought that, I would of put it in the Infedelity forum. While I also appreciate invite to Ireland to get into shape and get "wimminz", I'm gonna have to say no to that. Plus, I know how to get into shape pretty well, just have to wait until I remedy my many bulging discs in my neck and back.

 

My wife and I spoke, and I think it went really well. We were both very calm and there was no "you" or "I", it was "us" and "we". I don't have time to give too many details right now, but we are going to focus on emotions and intimacy, and the sex "should" come as a result.

Edited June 12, 2011 by wezol

[Mauschen]

Try the book His Needs Her Needs by Dr. Harley. I think he does focus a little too much on doing EVERYTHING together, but overall his ideas and research are really helpful.

 

Do you like horses? Could you bring yourself to take an interest in them? Since your wife rides so often, perhaps it is an activity you could share?

[reboot]

I'm certain my wife is not cheating

 

Famous last words, oft repeated on this forum....

[What_Next]

split up somethin sketchy is going on man smells like shes cock huntin that dude you should split up and then come to me so we can get you into shape and back into gettin the wimminz

 

Oh my. Why not at least make some attempt to write in a manner that in some way reflects our wonderful English language.

[asthill]

I am sorry that you have to go through this hardship after being deployed. My own brother got divorced because he was deployed, and there was no real interaction and connection. It seems that the time and distance plays a toll on the relationship.

 

Brother, we as men are stimulated differently than females. We need attention, sex, and appreciation. What a female needs is your time, communication, for her to feel special, and it is not what you say to her, but how you make her feel after you talk to her.

 

It seems like you have to re-capture her heart again. It maybe hard to swallow, but sometimes after being separated, there is a wall that now has to be broken. About the weight issue, it maybe an excuse to look some where else. I still believe there is hope in your situation. If your wife is dating or actively looking for someone else then you may need to looking into another direction.

 

I have helped quite a few men recapture their wife's attention, and it is not at all expensive. Look at my site and you will be helped. http://www.heatedrelationship.com

[seibert253]

Famous last words, oft repeated on this forum....

 

Soooo true.

[wezol]

Update:

 

Were getting a divorce. I tried one last time to convince her to try, using a

book or counseling. She said she didn't know, then the next day said she wasnt in it anymore. I asked if she was sure, she said she didn't know. Then she said maybe we should take break.

 

So were getting divorced. I wouldn't do breaks when we were bf/gf, sure as he'll won't do them with a marriage.

 

It hurts, it sucks, but in the end I think it will be for the best.

 

This blows.

[Mr.Harris]

Good that you guys are divorcing. She was cheating anyway.

[wezol]

Good that you guys are divorcing. She was cheating anyway.

 

Ive been cheated on by everyone I've been with (I sure know how to pick em), but I truly believe she wasn't. Almost wish she had been, it would make this while thing easier to get over if I could be furious with her and blame only her.

[Got it]

wezol - I wanted to comment here as I have horses and was showing competively through most of my marriage. I am not sure if your wife is the same but it does sound like she may be. It takes up a huge amount of time and I was gone till late quite a bit. Horses are definitely a passion and it is more of a lifestyle. My relationship with my ex was never a passionate one as he wasn't that interested in sex so I think horses became the outlet for my passion, etc.

 

Anyway, not making much sense. Many horse people are living "married single" becuase the horses take precedence. Your life revolves around them and it has cost many marriages. Shoot many upper level riders have been divorced because of these reasons.

 

I am sorry she is not wanting to invest in your relationship and it is best for you to walk. I am not sure of the dynamics of your marriage but not always being htere as a given is the best thing for you to see if she will reconsider her decision. I know that I always appreciated my ex being a horse husband and was not an easy gig supporting my passion.

 

Doing water buckets in the freezing cold, mucking stalls in the sweltering heat and before dawn days on the showgrounds is not anyone's favorite to do if you aren't loving that world.

 

I am sorry for any pain you are in and know that while things seem so awful right now you are putting yourself as a priority and that is the most important step for you. She may reconsider, or she may not, but you know that you have done everything you could do. And you do deserve to be a priority.

[wezol]

wezol - I wanted to comment here as I have horses and was showing competively through most of my marriage. I am not sure if your wife is the same but it does sound like she may be. It takes up a huge amount of time and I was gone till late quite a bit. Horses are definitely a passion and it is more of a lifestyle. My relationship with my ex was never a passionate one as he wasn't that interested in sex so I think horses became the outlet for my passion, etc.

 

Anyway, not making much sense. Many horse people are living "married single" becuase the horses take precedence. Your life revolves around them and it has cost many marriages. Shoot many upper level riders have been divorced because of these reasons.

 

I am sorry she is not wanting to invest in your relationship and it is best for you to walk. I am not sure of the dynamics of your marriage but not always being htere as a given is the best thing for you to see if she will reconsider her decision. I know that I always appreciated my ex being a horse husband and was not an easy gig supporting my passion.

 

Doing water buckets in the freezing cold, mucking stalls in the sweltering heat and before dawn days on the showgrounds is not anyone's favorite to do if you aren't loving that world.

 

I am sorry for any pain you are in and know that while things seem so awful right now you are putting yourself as a priority and that is the most important step for you. She may reconsider, or she may not, but you know that you have done everything you could do. And you do deserve to be a priority.

 

Thanks for the comment.

 

I knew horses were her passion and hobby. I would of also understood more I'd she showed and traveled to rodeos, but she doesn't (she does aspire to with her new filly). It shouldnt of been that hard to spare one night a week to us, afterall, the arena was right our back. She very well could of quit an extra hour early every once in a while. I also do like riding, but loping in an arena gets boring for me and I'd rather trail ride or work cattle. I also had a bad accident which sent me to the hospital and left me pretty broken for about 6 months and it took me a little bit before I'd get back on.

 

Either way, I really did try to understand her passion for it, but like you said, I think she saw my resentment fir our lack of a marriage, and stayed out and rode, which led to more resentment, which led to her staying out at the arena longer. I truly believe we had a complete breakdown of communication, and when we finally realized what had happened, it was too late.

[Got it]

I understand how you feel and why you feel it. I do highly recommend marital counseling either way just to make sure this is what you want. I know she has said that she wants to divorce as well but at the very least counseling will help you guys move to the next steps even if it is divorce. But it may allow you guys a breather to see if there is anyway to work back to a better spot.

[wezol]

I'm having a hard time. Not because of hate or resentment, and not necessarily that I miss her, which I do...... I still do love her very much, and I know she is in a very hard spot financially, more so than I. It would really tear me up to see her fail and fall on her face, which is almost inevitable because of her financial situation. I want more than anything to throw money at her to help (although I really do not have much), but not to win her back. Just knowing that she's going to have some rough times finically hurts me, even so, I've been told by many a smart people not to help her in that way, that it's up to hear to figure out on her own and develop her independence.

 

Another thing, is that I miss her very much, and I know she does too. She hinted yesterday at maybe trying again later, and my emotions say "awesome" but my brain says no. I know she will be happier in the end, and I know I will too. Right now though, I'm particularly vulnerable, and would have an extremely hard time turning down the opportunity of trying agian, even though I know (and she had said so too) that this is what's best. I almost wish there was anger and hate, it would be easier to tell her no, and make me not want help, and I could just turn cold.....but I can't.

 

Are these normal feelings?

 

Please feel free to tell your stories, this is a learning place.

 

I have a feeling crown will be my friend for a few days.

[Got it]

Yes your feelings are very normal. I am so sorry for your pain and I admire your compassion. My ex and I divorced very amicably as we knew we wanted the best for the other more than wanting the person. It's hard but put one foot in front of another and rely on your friends. Please think about IC as well. I know I had codependency issues with my ex that I had to work through. I have a lot of respect for him for being a horsie hubby and I know he is MUCH happier in the life he is leading now. You remind me of him, a pretty special person that deserves all the happiness in the world.

[wezol]

Well....quit a lot has happened in the last week or so.

 

She, again, came begging for one last chance, that she now knew what she wanted, and that was me and our marriage. She said she would do WHATEVER and ANYTHING it took to try and make this work.

 

At the time, the situation had changed, so I adapted and gave a new plan to which she agreed. We would finish splitting our assets and since I had already put the down payment on the house and first months rent, I would move out. My reasoning for not backing out of the rental agreement was, if it didn't work out, then I would already have a place, which is really hard to find one that I need in a college town this time of year.

 

We would take it slow, start "dating" and just get to know each other again. We would go to counseling, and after 6 months we would "evaluate" the situation and either continue with counseling separated, move back in together and continue counseling, or call it quits. Reason I chose 6 months, was because I felt that is about a minimum about of time to tell if there a real change in the both of us and our marriage, or if it was just a "honeymoon phase" type of thing.

 

At the time, one week ago, she ASKED for the book I bought. I said that I had only read the first 5 chapters, and asked if she would read up to that point and we would talk about it, and I would take it and read some more and so forth.

 

In the last week, she has only had "time" to read 10 pages. All the while she has had time to hang out with her friends and do whatever she wants. She graduated college with a high GPA, so she knows how to read...

 

Another thing, about 2 months ago her rings began to get too tight on her finger and it would hurt and swell so she took them off. Not an issue. Yesterday I called her and told her I would take them to get re-sized so she could wear them again. She declined. To try and show her I was working on myself, instead of getting upset and bashing her, I told her "I understand, well whenever you feel you're ready for them again, let me know and I will get them sized for you." In the past, I would of gotten up set and pressured her to put them back on...I'm trying to change.

 

This whole time from the get go, my ring hasn't come off my finger...

 

She has shown little to no effort to back up her words. I feel I am in this fight alone, which was what burnt me out to begin with over the last year. It's the same pattern.

 

Also, I set up a date for us last night that she canceled yesterday morning. She had promised her girl friend that she would haul her horse to an arena for her since she doesn't have a trailer, and had forgotten that when she said she would go out to eat with me. That...I do understand, you have to keep to your obligations. What I DIDN'T find out until this morning, was that her friend ended up canceling on her, and instead of calling me up to ask if I still wanted that date, she just stayed home and didn't bother telling me.

 

She still doesn't text or call me just to say hi or good morning/good night, it's all me doing that....she still doesn't take any initiative.

 

I told her this,

 

"When I see and hear about what you are doing, it hurts me. You hang out with other guys and girls until the wee hours of the morning that you barely know, while I'm gone....all the while without your rings. You haven't read the book, and you continue to hang out with the same guys, without your rings on. You are putting yourself in precarious situations, you're making vulnerable and you know it, maybe that's what you want. You keep heading down that path and eventually something is going to happen, but you also know that. You know in your heart what is right, and what is wrong. I love you more than anything but I don't feel you are in it, I'm not seeing it."

 

I can't let this go on any longer. When I'm done I'm done, and when I'm in it, I'm in it 100%. She's not reciprocating. What I see is that she wants to live a little bit of the single life and be independent, but still be married. I will not be strung along...

 

You know, after I see her (we went on our "first" date Sunday), I don't truly feel happy anymore. When I think about living on my own and having the chance to deal with my own personal issues, I begin to feel better. That's not a good feeling for a married man.

I'm glad I kept the house...

 

I don't feel it's fair to bash her like this, as I've not been the greatest husband, and some of the things I've said to her would upset many here, as well as my own mother. But I've always loved her unconditionally, and always let her know. I was always there for her when she needed me, no questions asked. I did my best to be the man of the house, working 50-60 hrs a week while going to school full time to make sure we had money to SPARE (she works too). She should of never had any doubt in her mind that I loved her, I always tried to show it with affection/emotion and doing things for her as best I knew how.

 

A side note, I DO NOT think she has cheated....YET. But it would of been inevitable.

 

Thoughts?