Fedor Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Step up and ask her on another date. And while your at it, throw in some flirting through text. Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyDude Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I'm about to be in this situation and have a 3rd date coming up soon. I haven't kised her yet just hugged and I think it's because we haven't been in a quiet place yet. I don't feel comfortable going for a kiss in public. I think it's better if I'm over her place or she is at my place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spid382 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 I'm about to be in this situation and have a 3rd date coming up soon. I haven't kised her yet just hugged and I think it's because we haven't been in a quiet place yet. I don't feel comfortable going for a kiss in public. I think it's better if I'm over her place or she is at my place. Go for it dude....Wishing you luck....The gneral vibe/feedback I'm getting after posting my scenario its seems...I have f*%ked up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spid382 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 Make a move... Link to post Share on other sites
Author spid382 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 So does anyone else have any advice as to how I should tackle this girl???? Weekend has come to an end and no word from her....I so want to call her....Female opinions appreaciated.... Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Don't be pissed. Besides, if she ends things with you solely because you didn't attempt to sleep with her yet, then her priorities are messed up. He didn't even try to kiss her which is far from attempting to get in her pants. She probably thinks he's either gay or not interested in her. @OP, just call her? or alternatively, you can sit in front of the PC expecting someone to tell you what to do and hope it won't be to late (i.e. you already burned your weekend). Sorry, but so far I perceive you as being an insecure kid, better step it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spid382 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 He didn't even try to kiss her which is far from attempting to get in her pants. She probably thinks he's either gay or not interested in her. @OP, just call her? or alternatively, you can sit in front of the PC expecting someone to tell you what to do and hope it won't be to late (i.e. you already burned your weekend). Sorry, but so far I perceive you as being an insecure kid, better step it up. Professor Z I very much doubt insecurity is the issue here....Yes it seems I should have acted a little sooner....In past dates, and successful ones at that might I add, I have "made that move" earlier.... Each and every situation is different especially in this case where the signals/vibes were not as easy to pick up on.... (IE kissing her that first time....) Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Professor Z I very much doubt insecurity is the issue here....Yes it seems I should have acted a little sooner....In past dates, and successful ones at that might I add, I have "made that move" earlier.... Each and every situation is different especially in this case where the signals/vibes were not as easy to pick up on.... (IE kissing her that first time....) It doesn't matter what you have done in your past and how quickly, that is not the issue here; I am only telling you what I'm reading from your current actions (or lack thereof). When a guy dates a girl 4 times in which he does not attempt to kiss her even once (add to that the fact you've said that you've lost a weekend with her just now), than the girl will automatically assume that you're either gay or not interested, and since we've established that you're not gay and indeed interested, than it's safe to assume your lack of actions is due to your insecurities. You can argue that situations change, but, you know, I know and she knows that you're interested in her so therefor there isn't any logical explanation as to why you haven't made a move yet apart of insecurity. Again, like I've said, you can either call her and make it happen yesterday (with whatever chance you got left) or just forget about her. Either way, it's your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 He didn't even try to kiss her which is far from attempting to get in her pants. She probably thinks he's either gay or not interested in her. Oh. I misread the part where they hadn't even kissed yet. When OP said he wanted to take it slow, I thought he meant beyond kissing. Yes, I do see how she may perceive that as a lack of interest on OP's part, after 4 dates. OP, are you naturally fearful of kissing someone you're dating and interested in or is it just with her? Try to think about what it is that is holding you back. Whatever the case may be, don't let fear pressure you too much. Maybe the men on here believe it should be your motivating factor, and it's what has helped them, men are different then women so maybe their advice is better suited where that is concerned. Either way, you're going to have to put in some effort here if you want to get past this hurdle. There isn't anything stopping you from calling her up and inviting her out at this point, and also keep in mind that she has shown interest in you by asking you out those times you mentioned and planning it, we clarified that she did so the last time you saw each other, so all things to consider. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Nope, you blew it. You have to strike while the irons HOT, on date 1. You dont have to take her pants off, but you to have to TRY to make out so she knows youre interested. I don't necessarily agree with this. It depends on the girl. If she's the classy type (or just shy), you have a good chance of ruining it by trying to make out on the first date. However, you should definitely go for the kiss on the second or third date at the latest. Four dates without a kiss (and no flirting from what I can tell) is definitely problematic. She's probably confused and wondering what the hell OP's intentions are. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I don't necessarily agree with this. It depends on the girl. If she's the classy type (or just shy), you have a good chance of ruining it by trying to make out on the first date. I agree with this. First date kisses aren't an absolute requirement, but it certainly helps to at least show that you're interested, somehow. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I agree with this. First date kisses aren't an absolute requirement, but it certainly helps to at least show that you're interested, somehow. Except they can make things awkward, and you don't want to end your first date on an awkward note. My view is that you have nothing to lose by leaving the kiss until the second date. Personally, I'd only go for the kiss if there is strong chemistry and she is sending obvious signals. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Except they can make things awkward, and you don't want to end your first date on an awkward note. My view is that you have nothing to lose by leaving the kiss until the second date. Personally, I'd only go for the kiss if there is strong chemistry and she is sending obvious signals. I agree. Sorry, my previous message was vague. I meant that it's important to somehow show that you're interested even if it isn't with a kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Except they can make things awkward, and you don't want to end your first date on an awkward note. My view is that you have nothing to lose by leaving the kiss until the second date. Personally, I'd only go for the kiss if there is strong chemistry and she is sending obvious signals. His problem is he doesnt know how to sneak into the kiss in the first place. The woman could have been giving a cold vibe, and its hard to kiss at that point. So when you blow off the attempt at a kiss till the second date, it could keep getting blown off until shes not interested anymore. So it should at least be attempted on the first date. He doesnt have to grab her ass, but at least let her know shes interested with some kind of physical sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spid382 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 Oh. I misread the part where they hadn't even kissed yet. When OP said he wanted to take it slow, I thought he meant beyond kissing. Yes, I do see how she may perceive that as a lack of interest on OP's part, after 4 dates. OP, are you naturally fearful of kissing someone you're dating and interested in or is it just with her? Try to think about what it is that is holding you back. Whatever the case may be, don't let fear pressure you too much. Maybe the men on here believe it should be your motivating factor, and it's what has helped them, men are different then women so maybe their advice is better suited where that is concerned. Either way, you're going to have to put in some effort here if you want to get past this hurdle. There isn't anything stopping you from calling her up and inviting her out at this point, and also keep in mind that she has shown interest in you by asking you out those times you mentioned and planning it, we clarified that she did so the last time you saw each other, so all things to consider. To answer your question, no I am not normally fearful of kissing a girl when dating....I have kissed other girls on first dates! The main reason I have held back her the fact that I did not sense/see any physical flirting on her behalf...IE. touching my arms, hugging me etc etc. She def seemed to be a little on the shy side every date, but it become less apparent as we me up each time. Due the lack of physical flirting coming from her side of the fence I held back. To a degree it made me wonder what her interest level was....With other girls I have always had cues there to make the next move. She also has class about her too so I simply didnt want to get rejected if she wasnt ready.... This girl just about ticked every box in my eyes.... intelligent, good job, nice looks and generally a very friendly person to be around.... Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I don't necessarily agree with this. It depends on the girl. If she's the classy type (or just shy), you have a good chance of ruining it by trying to make out on the first date.Nah. If you ruin it with attempt to kiss, it means you aren't making the right moves in the first place. Hell, I remember getting pushed away once (physically) after going for a kiss, several minutes in and she was initiating make out session. I have held back her the fact that I did not sense/see any physical flirting on her behalf... With other girls I have always had cues there to make the next move Lack of red light means a green light. Remember that. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerstranger Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 To answer your question, no I am not normally fearful of kissing a girl when dating....I have kissed other girls on first dates! The main reason I have held back her the fact that I did not sense/see any physical flirting on her behalf...IE. touching my arms, hugging me etc etc. She def seemed to be a little on the shy side every date, but it become less apparent as we me up each time. Due the lack of physical flirting coming from her side of the fence I held back. To a degree it made me wonder what her interest level was....With other girls I have always had cues there to make the next move. She also has class about her too so I simply didnt want to get rejected if she wasnt ready.... This girl just about ticked every box in my eyes.... intelligent, good job, nice looks and generally a very friendly person to be around.... You said you too sat on the beach side by side, with your shoudlers touching;) That would have been a great time to go in for a kiss. I would never sit for 2 hours on a beach shoulder to shoulder with a guy I wasn't romantically interested in. I don't know of too many women that would. She also initiated 2 of the dates. A kiss doesn't have to happen on the first date- but on the second date, it should. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spid382 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 You said you too sat on the beach side by side, with your shoudlers touching;) That would have been a great time to go in for a kiss. I would never sit for 2 hours on a beach shoulder to shoulder with a guy I wasn't romantically interested in. I don't know of too many women that would. She also initiated 2 of the dates. A kiss doesn't have to happen on the first date- but on the second date, it should. Yeah right on dangerstranger....too little too late. I decided to call her tonight, and she didnt answer surprise surprise....Later I txt her to see what the hell was going on there....Whether I text her or not it was not going to proceed. In a nutshell I let her know of my feelings towards her, and she simply stated that She honestly couldnt see us moving forward, and that she also didnt have that "feeling" towards me... It was chilled out and relaxed that afternoon sitting down the beach I would say that was that final opportunity....missed out. At the same time, something changed that same night when she hit the town with her girlfriends,,,,,she still texted after the 4th date saying she enjoyed her time. So yeah whether she met someone else...who knows....She has now also deleted her online profile too which is a pretty good indicator. But you know what I feel so much better, and hugely relieved that I at least know where I now stand with her. Thankyou Dangerstranger for your comments. Link to post Share on other sites
realisticbound Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Yeah right on dangerstranger....too little too late. I decided to call her tonight, and she didnt answer surprise surprise....Later I txt her to see what the hell was going on there....Whether I text her or not it was not going to proceed. In a nutshell I let her know of my feelings towards her, and she simply stated that She honestly couldnt see us moving forward, and that she also didnt have that "feeling" towards me... It was chilled out and relaxed that afternoon sitting down the beach I would say that was that final opportunity....missed out. At the same time, something changed that same night when she hit the town with her girlfriends,,,,,she still texted after the 4th date saying she enjoyed her time. So yeah whether she met someone else...who knows....She has now also deleted her online profile too which is a pretty good indicator. But you know what I feel so much better, and hugely relieved that I at least know where I now stand with her. Thankyou Dangerstranger for your comments. Sorry to hear that. As a woman, your taking it slow physically would have been kind of sweet to me, don't beat yourself up about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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