bikinibeach Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 i came and let it all out with the email i wanted to send him and felt better. now, this is me purging all of the beautiful memories that make me miss him. - the time he held me and we shared the top bunk in a hostel in sandiego and the way he cracked the best jokes in the morning- i died laughing - how he unflinchingly made the pilgrimage to the grand canyon with me even though we got there after dark, taking my hand and helping me over the stones until we reached the edge. -----insert sobbing break----- ok i'm back.... we reached the edge. i scattered some of my mother's ashes over the cliff and they swirled and blew away into the night and that amazing expanse you could feel even if you couldn't see it all. some of the ashes blew all over me and he didn't even hesitate to lovingly help brush them off of me. more sobbing----- - never thought i'd have a good time going clubbing with my boyfriend. we just had a great time with anything that we did together. in and out burger and beers in scottsdale. we had a grand old time making fun of the young club kids trying to dance sexy. we decided to join in and he make me laugh so hard by doing moves on the stripper pole. he was actually good! later he held me close and we danced with electricity crackling between us that could have powered the city. - wiping a tear from his eye with a warm cloth. then another. and another. he had never cried in front of me before. i kissed his eyes and shushed him and tried to stop it, his sudden emotion bewildering me. - his cat reaching through the crack in the shower walls to knock over a bottle of shampoo when we were in there together. after that fell over, a few moments later she stuck her hand back in to feel around for something else. it was precious and hilarious - the first time he cooked for me. he looked so cute and his cooking was better than mine. we hung out in the kitchen listening to oldies - the first time i saw him in his white bathrobe - the way he looks getting out of the shower - when i first saw him after he came back from hawaii - the way he looked in his toque and glasses when he couldn't leave me that morning..haha - the time when he looked into my eyes and said 'don't you know how i feel about you?' and i could actually see it there - the way we gave each other arm massages at the airport - his baby pictures - him coming to me when i was in the bathtub and giving me a key to his place ok..... i think that might be the most of it. feeling a bit better already. post your memories if you think it will help Link to post Share on other sites
Author bikinibeach Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 i also really love this song. i like to listen to it and imagine this is how he feels. just writing these things here is really helping me Link to post Share on other sites
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