Sugarkane Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I have a friend who I've known since school. He always dated women and didn't really appear to be gay. Then he came out a couple of years ago. It doesn't seem to be just a phase. His been with his boyfriend for about 2 years now. His boyfriend is hot and doesn't appear to be gay aswell. Is it just me, or do I have a bad gaydar? Link to post Share on other sites
shadowofman Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Fem does not equal gay, gay does not equal fem. There is no gaydar. Just a fact you are going to have to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Ouroboros Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Maybe it is easier than saying "I hate women" and better to just not fight what everyone will think anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
bubble_pink Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 As a lesbian myself there is no diffrence in the way people look. some women look like men or potray the male sterotype I my self am femme if thats that is how people see me but at the end of the day i am a woman and the way i dress or act is no diffrent from anyone else i am my own person. neither in a relationship is one half the man and the other the woman I am a woman who falls in love with women ever since i was little cant help who i fall for. some people like both sexs. no matter who you fall for or how you act the person is still a human being. some people are in denile about there sexuality because it's pressure from scociety to keep it hidden and to themselfs as it it is consider not normal how ever far the world has progressed. so they take the route of trying to convince there self or try to be with the opisit gender to cure there love for the same sex. when ever people find out i am a lesbian the 1st question is how do you know have you ever been with a man and well how can you say you are if you havent been with a man. hope this helps. x Link to post Share on other sites
wny Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Lots of things in this topic. 1) I have a few gay friends who dated women just to "figure things out." A lot of them didn't seem as in touch with themselves as I always seemed to be. I self-realized my orientation without having to experiment. 2) A lot of the mannerisms people associate with being gay are based on faulty information. I've had people suggest anyone with a southern California accent 'might be gay.' Other mannerisms are often picked up from peer groups in an effort to "fit in." Some are just completely natural. 3) Being attracted a gay man might happen because of looks, but I've seen it more often when a gay guy is more expressive emotionally -- being willing to embrace The Oprah, something a lot of women wish their SO would be willing to do. I'm a very masculine looking guy, but I am extremely well in tune and open with my emotional side and feel comfortable talking about it. What is really amusing is when you do this with straight men that are comfortable with you. I've had plenty just open up and pour out more baggage than USAir, things they would never admit to wives or girlfriends. Eventually, they wish they could talk with their straight friends about some of these issues, but never can out of fear of being labeled gay. The only other people they seem to be willing to be this open with are bartenders. Link to post Share on other sites
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