nightmare :(

[reimeivn]

NC for a month and a half. He broke up with me out of the blue. He treated me really bad and lied behind my back. When I found out he said that he doesnt love me anymore and dumped me.

 

He broke up with me all over again in my dream, with all his friends sitting next to us, and in my childhood house. I am just sad all over again. The pain is not too bad, just fresh. I wonder what I did wrong. I wonder why would he hurt me so bad, I am the first one ever treated him that nicely.

 

What do you think that mean? the dream= my setback?

[giuliano-3]

Dreams are a window to the subconscious, or so someone smarter than I once said. I believe this, and believe that dreams (especially those which repeat) are trying to tell us something. Now that I've started dreaming about things which don't relate to my ex in any way I know it means that I've healed alot and no longer am holding onto the negative emotions.

 

I fly again in my dreams now, I go on adventures, I ride as a knight on horseback through foreign Medieval lands. I believe this is telling me that I'm ready for a new chapter in my life. I've truly moved on.

 

We cannot, most of the time, control our dreams. If you are having nightmares about the ex (as I did for a long time) or reliving negative emotions then it means you are still carrying the baggage with you consciously every day.

 

You are still wondering how he could treat you a certain way, meaning that you haven't yet accepted that sometimes people do things for no particular reason at all. It isn't about you, its about him. He decided to do what he did, maybe you don't factor into it. You wonder what you did wrong, instead of accepting the fact that maybe you didn't do anything at all to set it off. We think (in our moments of grief) that it would be nice to get inside the head of the ex and know what they're thinking but it actually would be a terrifying experience.

 

My ex also told me I was the "first person to treat her nicely", but maybe that was all a game. Maybe they say that so you feel like you'd be leaving them high and dry if you broke up with them. Mine made me feel like if I dumped her she'd have no place to go and would be a broken person. She never said those words, but I felt like that. Then she abandoned me. You never know what's going on in any other person's head, and that's a good thing. All you can do is work on your own mind/body/soul. The bad dreams will abandon you when you have reached acceptance and forgiveness - both for your ex and yourself.