jealous Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 hi all, well i broke up with my guy after he cheated on me (he was also commitment phobic, yet the biggest womanizer i hv come across) The deal is i hv a problem with him being so lucky..why after a few months he gets a nice new girl..why does he get good grades or get to travel...why the hell does he hv so much money.. Believe me, i hv all of that too.. but y him?? he deserves to get a bad STD and then remain sterile and impotent for the rest of his life! he makes me so mad that sumtimes i believe he has some magical powers over me HELP Link to post Share on other sites
freebird Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Don't be jealous - I guarantee you HE IS NOT HAPPY! Sounds like my ex, but he didn't cheat on me. But, he always had to be moving around, traveling or relieve himself of boredom -including getting a new g/f right away after we split up. I bet anything your ex is unhappy and uncomfortable alone - yet he cant commit - I would read this book called "Men Who Can't Love" it's the BIBLE for all I know regarding committmentphobic men and their asanine behavior! Link to post Share on other sites
jealous Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 he SEEMS happy...even THAT kills me..he should be miserable...really miserable Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 Part of being a mature adult is wishing the best for everyone. That helps the best come to you. Your major problem, therefore, is your attitude. When you start feeling happy for others who appear to have a lot of luck and happiness in their lives, then that same stuff will flow to you. Meanwhile, why don't you just try forgetting your ex. His life, good or bad, is not important in your life. He is no longer in your life and no matter what he's doing, it's totally immaterial to what you are doing now. Take the energy you use to focus on your ex's life and use it to bring good things into your own life. Your ex is part of your past, which no longer exists and will never repeat itself. It simply doesn't exist and in the context of your life he doesn't exist either. I pray you will mature in this regard. Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted April 17, 2004 Share Posted April 17, 2004 why is he so lucky? Karma, baby. It'll all come around and bite him in the ass. But it works the same way for you too! Just let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
jealous Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 i think ure right tony..but its hard to let go when i am still seeing him at university and hv to continue seeing him for another yr and a half... im so mad and unhappy Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 I have been through the same thoughts and feelings as you Jealous in regards to my ex and his commitmentphobia. I just recently bought the "Men Who Can't Love" and it had him written all over it. With this new knowledge, I was able to understand our situation a lot better. Has it eased the hurt? Somewhat, now it is pain from "should, coulda, woulda's". He has gone back to his ex common-wife and 2 kids. From what I understand, he has cheated on her repeatedly but always managed to reconcile with her. I am glad that I don't have to worry about him cheating on me. I do admit that I get jealous episodes over their "family" situation, but like someone said, are they REALLY happy? Who knows. I am in the process of letting go and moving on. For some people it happens faster than others. And that is okay. It sounds like your break up wasn't too long, so it is okay to express anger and jealousy. You need to get that out. Once you have gone through all that, then you can work on forgiveness and wishing your ex the best. So I agree with Tony in that aspect. Looking at our ex's, it appears that they are uncomfortable without a woman. Be happy in the fact that you are able to get along without a man by your side. There is a difference between needing and wanting a partner. I prefer to want a partner rather than need one. Take care and I wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 It's life--and nobody's is perfect. Not even Hugh Hefner's. Don't worry about your boyfriend's life, his actions and behavior will determine the large part of what happens to him in the future. Focus on your life--being a good person, trying to hep out others, meeting goals or doing things you've always wanted to do, meeting someone who you will have strong feelings for. It's not good for you to either loathe your ex or love him to death. He's not in your life anymore, live and let live. Time will pass, your feelings for him will fade, and you will be indifferent to his future. You will be glad you made the choices for your life that you did. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Originally posted by jealous he makes me so mad that sumtimes i believe he has some magical powers over me HELP Obviously, he does have something over you, because you seem so envious of him. If you have the same things as he, why are you so jealous? I think that you have a hard time coping with the fact that he has moved on as if you meant nothing to him. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
jealous Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 ure totally right vivid... i do have a problem with him getting over me so easily and moving on..and probably thats the reason im so envious of him..Believe me, i have all what he has except that im not over the fact that he came around, played with me, had a good time and then just walked away.. My self respect is so hurt...just want to see him miserable..i know i hv to get over this feeling and feel guilty for it..but just cant help it Link to post Share on other sites
Becks84 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Jealousy is a waste of emotion. It's only hurting you. Screw him and what he's doing. He's no good for you, and any other girl he is going to be with is going to get hurt by him too. Be glad that's over with and now you can move on and eventually find someone deserving of you. Like others have said, what goes around comes around". Be the bigger person here and try and forget about him and his life. Find a bit of comfort knowing that some day he will get what's coming to him, but don't wish bad upon anyone, no matter who they are or what they've done to you. It will do no good and will get you nowhere, it will only upset yourself, as it is doing right now. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts