Dreamer23 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I met up with an old friend about a year ago, I had not seen her for a few years. After a few months I realised that I had not only fallen in love with her, I'd also fallen for her deeper than any woman I have loved before. I've had two relationships longer than 5 years so it is a bit surprising. Sometimes she seems to be telling me that there is no chance, the next she is inviting me out to things. It is a strange situation and quite complex. i feel awful, I can't sleep and I can't stop thinking about her. It is not feasible to stop seeing her as we are working closely together on a project. Does anyone have any advice, or has anyone had similar experiences? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dreamer23 Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 No? Just me then. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Unrequited love is common, no matter what people tell you. And her playing hot and cold with you only makes things worse. Men are programmed with the hunter mentality and enjoy the chase. When she blows hot and cold like that, you think you're on her trail... only to be thrown when the trail gets cold. Unfortunately a hunter doesn't get thrown from the trail that easy, it just makes the chase harder, and therefore, more interesting. Its that way to an extent with women too. Its a cruel game, no matter the gender chasing or being chased. Could be that this girl is confused about whether she wants to date you or not, or is too nice to flat out reject you. She may have other issues going on keeping her from wanting to get into a relationship and doesn't want to open up to you about them... for fear that either you won't understand where she's coming from, or that she will make herself too vulnerable to you. I am speaking from personal experience on something that is going on with me right now... just flipped around... I am the one being chased and I like the guy doing the chasing, but I am in the "other issues" camp and don't want to open up and tell the guy what's up until he lays all his cards on the table. So maybe lay all your cards on the table first, and see where it gets you. You show vulnerable she might show vulnerable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dreamer23 Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 I think that seems unfair. why does he have to go through the pain of humiliation just because you want him to make the move? Women are more perceptive and he prbably does not want to hurt/upset you, the way I do not want to upset my potential. He probably does not know that you like him. If you know that he likes you, let him know what the issues are. Don't be cruel. In today's world men have, especially here in the uk, been so disempowered and shamed that they often don't want to show affection unless they know there is a chance. I don't think you have the situation right though, it is pretty complex. I just wanted to know if anyone had been thrugh similar. Link to post Share on other sites
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