Author one goal Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Surely you've already given that some thought over the last week of failing to ask her out? Ok, here's an idea: Call her. Tell her you'd like to go over the class assignment with her over a coffee and a slice of cake, you're buying. Pick a specific day/time/location and suggest it. If she's interested she'll either say yes or she'll suggest another time when she's free. If she gives any other response then she's not interested, which means that you should move on. Texting her to ask her out is lame, and you'll be having a nervous fit for hours or days wondering if she'll reply and then you'll come back here and ask us what it means when she hasn't replied. Talking to her will get you a pretty instant answer about whether she's interested. Then you can come back here and give us an update! Good luck! We really don't have any major assignments due right now though. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Yea, I've talk to her in person lol. How u think I got her number. Not a lot but we've talked in person. My guess is you got it when everybody in the group was exchanging numbers. From what you've posted here, you seem to keep freezing around her and have only managed to say hi. So which is it? Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 We really don't have any major assignments due right now though. Ok. Try: "Hi, it's Tom, how are you?" Then you listen... and respond to what she says. Then so long as she didn't say that she's upset because someone just died, you go on to say "I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a coffee and a slice of cake on saturday morning at the nice little cafe on the corner of Maryland and North Euclid. I hear the ice cream is good, too." Then when she says "sure that sounds nice" you say "Great, see you at 10.30? You can't miss it, it's called Coffee Cartel and it's the place with the orange shades over the windows." Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 I'll post what I'm going to call, text her later. I mean I'll probably get rejected again as it is the norm for me! Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I'll post what I'm going to call, text her later. That's just another one of your delaying tactics... you'll post it here and pretend that you need us to comment on whether the words are good enough to use. And you know it. Just call her already! I mean I'll probably get rejected again as it is the norm for me! Yes, you are probably right. Not because it's anything about you, but because most approaches are met with rejection for most men. Don't take it personally when it happens, but you can't prove me wrong without at least asking her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Does this sound good? "Hey. I don't get the chance to talk to you that much in class, so I was wondering if maybe we could go out to lunch, or do something together sometime and get to know each other better. btw sorry I come off as kinda shy in class, that's just me." Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Does this sound good? "Hey. I don't get the chance to talk to you that much in class, so I was wondering if maybe we could go out to lunch, or do something together sometime and get to know each other better. btw sorry I come off as kinda shy in class, that's just me." Not specific enough. Suggest a specific thing to do at a specific location at the specific time. That's why I gave you something specific in my earlier example. Also, that sounds like a text message and you need to call her. You can do it! She's just a girl, not an ogre. She won't chew you up and spit you out. Well, not literally, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Not specific enough. Suggest a specific thing to do at a specific location at the specific time. That's why I gave you something specific in my earlier example. Also, that sounds like a text message and you need to call her. You can do it! She's just a girl, not an ogre. She won't chew you up and spit you out. Well, not literally, anyway. I don't want to give a time because then she could be busy and use it as an excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 The patience of a saint you have, oaks. You're a very kind individual. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I don't want to give a time because then she could be busy and use it as an excuse. If she doesn't want to see you there are loads of ways for her to say she's busy or turn you down. Don't worry about giving her an easy out, because it's not going to make her any more likely to say no. If she does want to see you and she's genuinely busy at that time then she'll suggest a new time. I know this because, while not being a dating expert, I've done it more times than you. Have a specific plan in mind. Try it this way, on the phone or in person: ask if she'd like to do the specific thing at the specific place (eg coffee and cake at Coffee Cartel as per earlier example). If she would, then you can suggest a specific day/time. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 The patience of a saint you have, oaks. You're a very kind individual. Thank you. I got bored of ridiculing him in earlier threads. I might get bored of helping him soon if he doesn't pick up the phone and call her. The poor kid just needs a date, or at least some experience with asking (and experience with letting go when they say "no"). Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts