Btwn a Rock...

[Grace]

I really need some unbiased advice. I met John while attending college away from my hometown. It was a "whirlwind" romance I guess you could say. Anyway, I ended up getting pregnant, and, to make a long story short, he left me. I decided to continue with the pregnancy, because I am 21 years old and financially stable so there was no reason to end it. I went through the whole 9 months without him. I tried to contact him many times but received no response. Finally a week after I had the baby, he e-mailed me and then came to visit his daughter. I was cool towards him, as was my family, but decided not to hate him. He calls almost every night now, and we get along. I decided not to hold a grudge, for our daughters sake. My problem though is that I think that I'm still in love with him. We haven't really talked about getting back together, and i know I should hate him, but I can't. When we saw eachother again, it was just like old times. I could tell he felt the same way. I don't trust him at all, and I'm bound to get hurt again, but I think about him constantly. I know he's sorry for what he did.

 

So, any thoughts on what I should do if there is talk of getting back together?

 

Thanks, Grace.

[grace]

Dear Grace,

 

My name is Grace too, and i want to tell you first how strong you are for keeping your baby. I had an abortion back in may and day by day i'm regretting more and more.

 

How ever, i don't think you should hate your daughter's father, because it would only cause problems in the future.

 

The way i see it is that John does not know you have feelings for him, what you should do is call him and tell him you want to talk to him and it is best to do so face to face so that you would actually see his reaction. Tell him exactly how you feel, don't let anything inside you would only end up saying "what if..."

 

You should also tell him that if he is not in this 1005 then he should not lead you on and hurt you again. Tell him you would rather for him to be honest from the start then to play games and to ruin the friendship the 2 of you have.

 

Good luck Grace...

 

Sincerely,

 

Grace

I really need some unbiased advice. I met John while attending college away from my hometown. It was a "whirlwind" romance I guess you could say. Anyway, I ended up getting pregnant, and, to make a long story short, he left me. I decided to continue with the pregnancy, because I am 21 years old and financially stable so there was no reason to end it. I went through the whole 9 months without him. I tried to contact him many times but received no response. Finally a week after I had the baby, he e-mailed me and then came to visit his daughter. I was cool towards him, as was my family, but decided not to hate him. He calls almost every night now, and we get along. I decided not to hold a grudge, for our daughters sake. My problem though is that I think that I'm still in love with him. We haven't really talked about getting back together, and i know I should hate him, but I can't. When we saw eachother again, it was just like old times. I could tell he felt the same way. I don't trust him at all, and I'm bound to get hurt again, but I think about him constantly. I know he's sorry for what he did. So, any thoughts on what I should do if there is talk of getting back together? Thanks, Grace.

[Grace]

Dear Grace, My name is Grace too, and i want to tell you first how strong you are for keeping your baby. I had an abortion back in may and day by day i'm regretting more and more. How ever, i don't think you should hate your daughter's father, because it would only cause problems in the future. The way i see it is that John does not know you have feelings for him, what you should do is call him and tell him you want to talk to him and it is best to do so face to face so that you would actually see his reaction. Tell him exactly how you feel, don't let anything inside you would only end up saying "what if..."

 

You should also tell him that if he is not in this 1005 then he should not lead you on and hurt you again. Tell him you would rather for him to be honest from the start then to play games and to ruin the friendship the 2 of you have.

 

Good luck Grace... Sincerely, Grace

To Grace from Grace,

 

Thanks for the advice, I think I'll do exactly what you suggested. I'm not going to deny my feelings, eventhough my family will be really upset if I do get back together with him. Actually, I saw him this weekend, and he told me that he does still love me, and wants to be a real family. I'm going to consider everything that happened and then make my decision when I'm really ready to. Another problem is that he lives and works 6 hours from where I live now and my mom would be really upset if I took Abigail that far away. But I guess I have to do what's right for my daughter and myself.

 

As for you ending you pregnancy, don't ever regret anything you do in your life, it will only lead to heartache. You made a decision that you can never change, and you made that decision for certain reasons. Don't lose sight of those reasons. In my opinion, it's worse to bring a baby into a situation where you wouldn't be able to handle it. You'll have many other chances to have a baby when you're ready to.

 

Why don't you e-mail me, and we can talk more. <e-mail address removed>

 

Take care,

 

Grace too. :0)