Interesting and Meaningful Article on Relationship

[Fufu]

I've came across a very meaningful article on relationship in chinese.

 

Link: http://www.facebook.com/notes/%E6%84%9B%E6%96%87%E7%AB%A0/%E7%94%B7%E5%A5%B3%E4%BA%A4%E5%BE%80-%E5%8F%AA%E6%9C%89%E8%BF%99%E6%A0%B7%E6%89%8D%E4%BC%9A%E9%95%BF%E4%B9%85-%E5%BE%88%E7%9A%84/210780272287881

 

I will do the translation in English by paragraphs.

 

不管你有没有男朋友，有没有女朋友，都过来把它读完，写的真是那么回事

你发觉了吗？

爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，

总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，

你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、

恋著你，不论做什么事情，

只要能一起，就是好的....

 

Whether you have boyfriend, girlfriend or not. Do come and read this article. Here it goes.

 

Have you felt it?

The feelings of love. In the beginning, it is the sweetest feeling.

Another person to accompany, another person helps you to feel less burden,you will no longer feel lonely because there is another person thinking of you, loving you. No matter what you do, as long as being together is a blessing.

 

=====

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....但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，

你开始发现了对方的缺点，

於是问题一个接著一个发生，

你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，

有人说爱情就像在捡石头，

总想捡到一个适合自己的，

但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？

他/她适合你，那你又适合他/她吗?

 

However, gradually we understand each other better, you start to see each other's flaws. More and more issues start to appear one after another.

You began to feel vexed, tired, and probably even thinking of escaping.

Some people said relationship is like picking stone and you wish to pick the most suitable stone for yourself. How do you know when you will pick the right stone? Your partner is suitable for you, but are you suitable for your partner?

 

 

其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，

或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，

但是记住人是有弹性的，

很多事情是可以改变的，

只要你有心、有勇气，

与其到处去捡未知的石头，

还不如好好的将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮，你开始磨了吗？

很多人以为是因为感情淡了，

所以人才会变得懒惰。

错！

其实是人先被惰性征服，

所以感情才会变淡的。

 

Actually, relationship is just like molding a stone.

Maybe, when you just picked up the stone, you are not very pleased with it.

However, do remember human beings are versatile, many issues can be changed as long as you have the willingness and the courage.

Instead of going around picking up stones, why not take the opportunity of the stone you had with you and start to mold it brightly. Have you start to mold your stone?

Many people thought that their relationships already lost the spark, that's why they become lazy.

This is not right!

The fact is human beings are taken over by their lazy attitude first and this causes the relationship to change.

 

 

在某个聚餐的场合，

有人提议多吃点虾对身体好，

这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候,她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！

现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！」

听到了吗？明白了吗？

 

In a party, someone mentioned that eating prawns are good for health. At this moment, a middle-aged man suddenly said, "10 years ago when my wife was still my girlfriend, she wants to eat 10 prawns, I will peel 20 prawns for her.

Today, if she thinks I will help her to peel the pawn, don't joke with me! I don't even feel the interest anymore of stripping her clothes, let alone peeling prawns." You heard and understood me?

 

 

难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，

却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。

因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。

 

No wonder more and more people only wish to be in a relationship for lifetime but delayed entering the marriage path. It is because marriage easily makes people become lazy.

 

 

如果每个人都

懒得讲话、

懒得倾听、

懒得制造惊喜、

懒得温柔体贴，

那么夫妻或是情人之间，

又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？

 

If everyone is lazy to talk, lazy to listen attentively, lazy to come out with surprises, lazy to be warm and sweet. Then, your relationship or your marriage will gradually drifting away silently.

 

 

*所以请记住：

有活力的爱情，

是需要适度殷勤灌溉的，

谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔！

 

*Therefore do remember this, an active relationship needs earnest attentiveness and patience. When you are in a relationship, you can't be lazy.

[Fufu]

有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，

可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了，

当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟，

他的男朋友很不高兴的说：

你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了，

我以後再也不会等你了！

刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了，

她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

 

There's a couple planned to meet after work for dinner and shopping.

Unfortunately, the girl had to work overtime unexpectedly and was late for the meeting. She rushed through the rain and thunderstorm. By the time, she arrived at the meeting location, she was late by 30 minutes.

Her boyfriend unhappily said to her, "Every time we meet, you are always late. I don't have any mood already and I will not wait for you again."

That very moment, the girl had finally broke down. In her heart she thinks to herself," Maybe, we no longer have any future together anymore."

 

 

同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境；

女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，

他的男朋友说：「我想你一定忙坏了吧！」

接著他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上，

此刻，女孩流泪了

但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。

 

Another couple at the same location was also facing the same situation. By the time this girl rushed to meet her boyfriend, she was late by 30 minutes too. Her boyfriend told her, "I believe you must be very busy." Then, he wiped away the raindrops on his girlfriend's face and took out his jacket to put on his girlfriend. That moment, the girl cried. The tears that rolled down from her eyes are felt with warmth.

 

 

你体会到了吗？

其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！

爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时，

很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！

懂了吗？

当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。

那并不代表你会选择他。

 

Have you start to understand?

Love is actually just a thin line between hatred.

Love needs tolerance and also many matters are changeable. Do you understand?

When a person falls in love with you and you felt that he/she is not too bad. This does not mean you will choose him/her.

 

 

我们总说：「我要找一个自己很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。」

但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，

你却无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

 

We usually said, [We want to find a person we love lots then we can get into a relationship.]

However when the other person asks you how do you know when you will love deeply, you can't answer him/her because you don't even know the answer yourself.

 

 

没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。

可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。

假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？

其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。

或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，

但是你有没有想过『在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发觉而已呢？』

所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！他或许已经等你很久了

 

We always thought we will find a person we truly love deeply.

But later, when we start to look back, we will start to feel we were naive.

If the relationship never started, how do you know you will truly love the person?

In fact, the very loving feeling is only realized after going through different experiences together.

However have you ever think of, [there's someone beside you had already start to pay attention to you in silence for a very long time, just that you did not feel his/her presence?]

Therefore, do take a closer look at the people around you. He/She may have been waiting for you for a long time.

 

 

当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。

所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。

如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，

完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

 

When you love a person, love till 80% is just right.

All the expectations and hopes, 70-80% is enough, the remaining percentage use them to love yourself.

If you continue to love even more, it is likely to give each other unnecessary heavy pressure. Thus, completely losing the excitement of being in a relationship.

 

 

所以请记住，

喝酒不要超过六分醉，

吃饭不要超过七分饱，

爱一个人不要超过八分

 

Do remember this,

Do not drink alcohol more than 60%

Do not eat more than 70% full

Loving a person, don't love more than 80%

Edited June 14, 2011 by Fufu

[Fufu]

如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：

 

If currently you are feeling confused and troubled by your relationship, perhaps the following words could give you some inspiration:

 

 

爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；

要道歉，也要道谢；

要认错，也要改错；

要体贴，也要体谅；

是接受，而不是忍受；

是宽容，而不是纵容；

是支持，而不是支配；

是慰问，而不是质问；

是倾诉，而不是控诉；

是难忘，而不是遗忘；

是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；

是为对方默默祈求，

而不是向对方诸多要求；

可以浪漫，但不要浪费；

 

`*不要随便牵手，

`*更不要随便放手

 

- Loving a person needs understanding, as well as having an open mindset.

- Be apologetic and appreciative.

- To admit one's fault and not to commit the same fault again.

- To be considerate and also be understanding.

- To accept and not bear with it silently

- To tolerate and not condoning

- To support and not dominating

- To express empathy and not interrogating

- To talk things out and not complaining

- Memorable and not forgotten easily

- To communicate with each other and not take each other for granted

- Pray for your partner's happiness and not demanding happiness from your partner

- Be romantic and not waste each other time.

 

`* Don't jump into relationships easily

`* And don't easily break the relationship

 

 

看了就一定要转 不然对不起你自己的眼睛了 你说我说的对不？

 

After reading, it's time to change if not you are not being kind to your eyes. Am I right to say this?

[reimeivn]

Yeah this is right. He was lazy. I was not. I talked to him, he changed for a bit, then he s back to being himself, selfish, and controlling, and withdrawing with pretty much everything. I tried, but he didnt appreciate me, so then I decided to be lazy also. I am done. 2 days after that he broke up with me.

[sveltskye]

That was a wonderful article. Thank you for sharing

[Fufu]

reimeivn: You will be fine be cause you figured out what's best for yourself

 

sveltskye: You are welcome

[light_vader]

Thanks it was a nice article to read.

 

I tend to differ tough, a bit. I mean, I agree with the molding part, but only at some extent.

 

You should NEVER try to change someone.

I mean, there are smalls things (for instance I don't like when a girl leaves her lost hair in the shower and doesn't mind to trash it) that can be changed, since they don't really define your identity.

These are things that put the other person on the "uncomfortable" zone, but don't cross boundaries, so they are not deal breakers.

 

But there are others, that are so intrinsic to the person that it's unrealistic to think they'll change.

For instance, I'm not an outgoing person. I can be extremely fun once you know me, otherwise I pass as "the guy who is so serious", do you know what I mean?

And that's it. I will never be outgoing, it's not part of my nature, and I have accepted myself and I love it!

 

So in reimeivn's case... he is selfish and controlling. And that will always be his behavior, that's part of his personality.

 

So unless you're trying to get him back... which I guess is not the case, you should strive in the future, to find someone who treats you with respect, who understands a relationship is made by both, who gives you your own space.

 

So yeah.. that's my point of view.

Because we are not perfect, we all have flaws, and it's fine, but we have to understand sometimes we WANT someone to change.. when in reality all we need is to move on and find someone else who meets our expectations, because we are not anything, each of us are great and like they say "the sky is the limit" so why settle for unhappiness?

Edited June 15, 2011 by light_vader

[Fufu]

I agree on not trying to change a person totally.

 

I believe this article gives the inspiration to people of how they can treasure and value their next relationships.

[light_vader]

I believe this article gives the inspiration to people of how they can treasure and value their next relationships.

That is so true... sometimes these mistakes and bad times you spent with someone just make you appreciate a little bit more the details you'll find in your next relationship.

[ganbare]

Oh are you chinese Fufu? I'm kind of curious since I am going to Nanjing next month to teach English. Since you already know Japanese as well does your knowledge of Mandarin help you understand Kanji more? Hope all is well and good luck!

[Fufu]

I'm Chinese, currently learning Japanese language.

 

Understanding of chinese langauge does gives some advantages in understanding Kanji. Although, in my country, I'm from Singapore, we learnt the simplified chinese and Japanese Kanji uses the older chinese syllabus.

 

All the best to you too

[ganbare]

Oh wow you're from Singapore?! So that means you are somewhat close to my ex. (She's in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) I was planning on visiting Singapore too. hehe

 

So Kanji uses the older chinese characters? That's not good for me! I was really hoping that a lot of my Mandarin acquisition would overlap. So what is your motivation to study Japanese? As for me I am a nerd gamer and Japanese RPGs are some of the best.

 

By the way I read Natalies blogs a lot too. I'm a guy and even though most of her advice is applicable to both sexes it would be neat to find a male version of Natalie. My ex was a major "future faker".

[Fufu]

ganbare: Haha yeah, Singapore is neighbour of Malaysia. Kanji uses old chinese characters though if you do know the simplified version, it's not that hard to differentiate between these 2.

 

Motivation to learn Jap, i'm a fan of their animations and food... haha

 

I enjoy Natalie's blog entries too, works very true and positively for any sexes. My ex... I donno what to describe him anymore.. I only can say, the fate has ended.