swimmer98 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Two nights ago, I asked her what has been bothering her and she said that we should talk about it in counseling. I persisted and she told me that she was confused and had been feeling things for other guys. I'd known she'd been distant and it was almost like we were just friends or roomates. She cried a lot and said she needed space for a couple days. We talked about counseling and that I needed to be more supportive and things I could do to help her she talked with her parents and we held eachother and fell asleep. The next day, she came home for lunch and we talked. Felt so connected and we made passionate love. I was excited that our relationship would finally move forward and wanted to get into counseling. I felt so so in love and in bliss. I come home from work and a not was on the door saying she'd call me in 3 days - she needed space. She came back the same night, now she is ready to mend things and move forward with counseling. I am feeling very abandoned though and confused. How do I get over this so I can move forward? Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Stating the obvious: I think you need to get at the root of where she went when she "needed space". Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 You feel abandoned that she left for a day? How about if she leaves permanently? I would suggest going MC and as WGW said get to the root of the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Stating the obvious: I think you need to get at the root of where she went when she "needed space". Ah, yeah.... This sounds too familiar. A plan to be gone for a very specific 3 days, then a sudden change in that plan, and a quick return to working on the relationship. Wonder what else didn't go according to plan? Link to post Share on other sites
Author swimmer98 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 Stating the obvious: I think you need to get at the root of where she went when she "needed space". She went to a friends house. I had a friend call her at the house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author swimmer98 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 You feel abandoned that she left for a day? How about if she leaves permanently? I would suggest going MC and as WGW said get to the root of the problem. I couldn't imagine permanent, to me that would be worse than death. We'll be going to MC (Marriage Counseling). Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I couldn't imagine permanent, to me that would be worse than death. We'll be going to MC (Marriage Counseling). When you got to MC let her do the talking and try to get to the bottom of things. You need to know what's really going on. If there is someone else you need to know. Otherwise you have her + another man and you. Those type of situations never end out as you think the would. Someone loses and it's always you the spouse! Good luck with the MC... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Harris Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Oh I'm sure she was at a friend's house with the other man she was seeing. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 She went to a friends house. I had a friend call her at the house. OK, so in summary, at one point, she's distant an talking about being attracted to other guys. Next, she's holding on and making passionate love with you. That very evening, she's run away again, planning to be gone for 3 days. Later that night, she's back home, ready to move forward again. I think before you can look at "getting over it" and "moving forward", you need to figure out where you are right now. Whatever it is, something is going on with her that is causing some major instability. Moving forward will require addressing your present status, and I don't think it's all out there on the table yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author swimmer98 Posted July 16, 2011 Author Share Posted July 16, 2011 Things seem to be better, I still wonder about her sexual attraction to me. We've been on dates, a lot of her stress is our apartment being messy and us working different shifts so we rarely get to see each other. I asked her to ditch her therapist since that wasn't going anywhere and since things seemed worse (she left.) Now we are going to a counselor together. Link to post Share on other sites
David Cain Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Dude she left you without a care in the world to see someone else. If you don't, you're just wasting your time and your money because what happens when she runs off in the future? You think it'd just be another "visit" to her friend's house? You deserve to know what she's been doing behind your back. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Listen I know what your going through but never going to be the same with her! She go away doing it and you couldn't stop her from leaving. You lost her respect and bit of husband control too. Woman like this you don't need in your life right now. But you might think otherwise. WAKE-UP AND SEE WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON MAN! Just know what's on the table with her, otherwise she'll pull you in on a reel! Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 We've been on dates, a lot of her stress is our apartment being messy and us working different shifts so we rarely get to see each other. . messy apartments don't cause stress - I'm guessing in a healthy relationship the solution would be "hey honey, this place is a mess - let's take a couple of hours and clean it up together!" you really need to find out what is going on - it may be something minor or it could be very huge... this is your life, take charge.... Link to post Share on other sites
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