Is romanticism a dangerous quality to have in the 21st century?

[gypsygem]

You confuse the internal world (self) with the external world (reality).

 

I don't think I am confused about this...I feel we have different interpretations of what we believe

"reality" means. Perhaps you believe the word reality to apply only to the "external."

 

I believe "reality" to be a combination of internal and external forces combined. It is never a "reality" until you actually experience it...and then once you experience something in your life, whatever it may be, it becomes a reality to you both internally (feelings about the experience) and externally (actually living the experience).

 

Our own "realities," combined with the "realities" of all others who affect us, create the entire "reality."

 

It's okay to have different views on this subject, as some of us are very "internal" creatures, while others operate and function less internally, and more externally in the world. We need both kinds of people, with both views to keep the balance going. If we were all the same way, it would be a boring place.

 

Gypsy

[dyermaker]

Feelings are a reaction or a response to stimuli.

 

Reality is the nature of the stimulus.

 

Without reality, there would be no feelings.

 

From your perception of reality (feeling) you can assess the stimuli (reality), but your perception of the stimuli in no way overshadows the nautre of the stimuli, which is why delusion exists.

[moimeme]

I feel we have different interpretations of what we believe "reality" means

 

I pretty much stick to the dictionary for the meanings of words. If I call a blue cow a 'plate' and you call a red car a 'plate', we can't possibly discuss anything. The dictionary will tell us exactly what a 'plate' is so that we can speak from a common understanding of terms and save us the trouble of figuring out how to 'believe' in what a word might or might not mean.

[BlockHead]

gypsygem

Some of the greatest art, music and writings known to man have been inspired by the hearts and minds of romantic, passionate people who have loved...if this is not real love, then I don't know what is.

Romance and romantic love are myths. For example, Santa is a myth.

 

There is no knight in shining armor. In fact, feudalism was a corrupt and oppressive. Some princes were psychopaths. Nobility and divine right don’t exist.

[gypsygem]

I pretty much stick to the dictionary for the meanings of words. If I call a blue cow a 'plate' and you call a red car a 'plate', we can't possibly discuss anything. The dictionary will tell us exactly what a 'plate' is so that we can speak from a common understanding of terms and save us the trouble of figuring out how to 'believe' in what a word might or might not mean.

 

I can agree with this..., I just don't agree that feelings arent "reality" or that romance is "delusional."

I don't think it would be fair to say that all romantic people are unrealistic and delusional.

 

When I am in a "romantic" relationship, I have no delusions, or expectations, I just live it day by day, and enjoy every minute of it, as long as it lasts...This is my "reality."

 

Gypsy

[dyermaker]

I think that your "plate" is "judicious".

[gypsygem]

There is no knight in shining armor.

 

I agree, good thing I am a "realistic" romantic, or I would still be waiting for him to ride up on his white horse...

 

I don't want to be rescued, I just want spice and passion (romance) from my man, and I am more than willing to do my part as well to give the same to him... I like to write songs and poetry for the man I love, and to share adventures with him...the romance will last as long as both are willing to put forth the effort, and to me, it is effortless to be giving, exciting, and romantic! It takes more effort for me to settle for less than what I want, because unhappiness is hard.

 

I guess it boils down to what people consider to be "romantic." Perhaps we have different opinions on it...that's okay.

 

Is love a feeling, or a reality?........

If love is a feeling, and feelings are delusions (not reality), the words "realistic love" would be an oxymoron (ie: realistic delusion). If love is a reality, and romance is a delusion, then the words"romantic love" would be an oxymoron (ie: delusional reality). All words are subject to interpretation, whether they are written in dictionaries, or written in any book for that matter (the bible is a good example of this).

 

No offense meant to anyone at all...I have been known to change my mind on many matters, it's okay to keep your mind open, because any time a strong opinion is expressed, it rules out any hope of realizing all the other sides to the story, and this is regressive. I accept other peoples' views, and welcome them, because that is how I learn things, and how I grow and progress as a person.

 

Gypsy

[emeraldcity]

Do you think people can get so wrapped up in the extacy of romance, that they blind themselves entirely to reality? There is definately a danger in romanticism. While it feels wonderful to have these fantasies - the **** really hits the fan the day reality hits and it all comes crashing down around you. There is a danger in idealising your partner into a vision of perfection. I know, for one, that I am more than capable of completely deluding myself. I see what I want to see in a partner, and often wind up getting hurt because of this.

[BlockHead]

gypsygem

You remind me of Bill Gates. He labels flaws as features, and then he charges extra.

 

So you would rewrite the language rather than face reality.

 

Is love a feeling, or a reality?........

I think you are confusing love with infatuation. Infatuation is more like an instinctive lust, and it will fade away over time. Let’s just say there are some chemicals in the brain that give a narcotic-like high.

[dyermaker]

You remind me of Bill Gates. He labels flaws as features, and then he charges extra.

 

*remembers 'Windows Messenger'*

[gypsygem]

My definition of romantic love is NOT idealizing my partner...romantic (to me) does not equal delusion. If I believed that my partner was prince charming, of course I would be disappointed to find out that he wasn't.

 

I think I have a pretty healthy view on the types of relationships I chose to involve myself with, I would be "delusional" if I thought I could be happy living a life lacking in romance. I know myself very well.

 

The only time in my life, when I thought about settling into a less romantic relationship, was when I was insecure, and needy...I went to therapy for my issues, and now that I have my self esteem back, and have grown into a more secure person, I don't need to settle for less than my desires out of neediness, or insecurity (not to say that others do it for these reasons, only speaking for myself). Now I have a clear view of what I really want in my life, not what I need out of insecurity. I am not afraid of getting hurt emotionally. If you live your life afraid of being hurt, you are not really living. Almost everything of value in life takes a risk...Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose, but if you are afraid to take the risk, you will always wonder, "what if"...

I don't want to wake up one day asking myself that question.

 

 

Gypsy

[gypsygem]

You remind me of Bill Gates. He labels flaws as features, and then he charges extra.

 

One man's "flaw" is another man's "feature"...to each his own

 

So you would rewrite the language rather than face reality.

 

Yes....if the language was written by an idiot," and I didn't agree with his/her "reality." I have re-written 2 Federal Union Contracts which both employees, and the union had accepted for the last 25 years as being "reality," which were totally biased, and against human/employee rights. 'the only reason I re-wrote them was because everyone else (even knowing they were wrong) was afraid to stand up for themselves.

 

I think you are confusing love with infatuation. Infatuation is more like an instinctive lust, and it will fade away over time. Let’s just say there are some chemicals in the brain that give a narcotic-like high.

 

So you think your so called "real love" does not produce any kind of natural high?

I love my friends very much, and I get "high on life" just being around them. I don't have any romantic feelings about my friends...totally platonic.

 

Gypsy

[morrigan]

I don't believe romanticism is a dangerous quality to have--as long as you realize it's a personal, self-focused emotion, and not an active force between you and someone else. It's short lived, idealistic, and daydreamlike--qualities that aren't too be found in a steady, loving relationship with someone.

Idealizing anyone demands them to be flawless.

 

I find romanticism in nature--a full moon in May, nighttime walks in the woods, a lake in winter, and such. It's a momentary impression of surroundings that provides imagination and excitement. But obviously nature and the enviroment are not perfect, nor always pleasing.