Gawking at models

[JamieLeigh514]

It seems to me that some guys are way more into looking at models and half-naked women than others. This is the first time I've been in a relationship where it seems like my boyfriend is always gawking at other women. Is it natural to feel so disturbed. Is it normal that this makes me feel so much like I'm lacking. It makes me feel so ugly and so plain when I see the FHM magazine that he gets every month. In our last apartment, we were living with his friend, and there were stacks of these magazines in our bathroom. They had subscriptions to FHM, STUFF, and MAXIM and everytime I went in the bathroom I was reminded of how much of a model I am not! I was constantly thinking, everytime he goes to the bathroom he sees a variety of half-naked beautiful women and problably wishes he could have one of them, or all of them. His computer was loaded with pictures of these women. He would even look these women up on the internet after seeing a few pictures of them in his magazines. Why does my guy have such a wandering eye? I guess some people would say that I should be thankful that he's looking at magazine models and not women on the street... but where do you ever see beautiful half-naked women on the street in Buffalo??? Well, it just makes me feel like crap and I really really want to know... why does this guy have such an infatuation with all these women and no one else I was ever with did? How can I get over this? Can I get over it? It's been a year that we've been together and there are less half-naked women in my life now. We moved to a new apartment and no longer have all these magazines in the bathroom. But, every month when the FHM magazine comes in the mail I have that same terrible insecure feeling... and I'm reminded that my boyfriend loves gawking at models. Maybe we're just not compatible. I don't know.

[Darkangelism]

Most guys look at models, we are not going to leave you for them, or think any less of you. Remember they are airbrushed, they do not look that good in real life. If you have a problem with it tell him, so he can make an adjustment.

[Fedup&givingup]

Your boyfriend's wandering eye is a little more than tacit. It's a little obsessive. I can understand how you must feel! I would feel very insecure about this myself. Men are extremely visual, BUT he could be a whole lot more discreet about this.

 

Have you discussed how it makes you feel, inadequate? I think he could be a whole lot more sensitive to you and your feelings on the matter. If the shoe were on the other foot, and you had magazines filled with hot, muscular men with next to nothing on, how would that make him feel? I'm not encouraging you to go and do this just to get his goat as it would be counter productive. However, when discussing this sensitive issue with him, put it to him in that light.

[dyermaker]

Here's the thing. You base your entire relationship on physical appearance, do you? You think that the only reason he likes you is because you're pretty. If you honestly think the only thing your attachment is based on is his physical attraction to you, therefore these women threaten your attachment--leave the guy.

 

Otherwise, it's time to get over this.

[Jeo123]

I've never been a fan of the deal with it or leave attitude. There's something to be said for trying to solve a problem instead of either giving up or ignoring it.

 

Talk to him, maybe something good will come of it.

[Arabess]

If it bothers you....tell him. If he doesn't respond to your wishes or at least makes a compromise...then perhaps he isn't the right man for you. Not jist because he enjoys nudie pics......but just because he doesn't care about your feelings.

[I4anI]

You people who say "leave him because he's an ass" better look at yourselves for a second. How many of you have trashy love novels or Cosmo in your possession? These holier than thou posts are ridiculous. You people aren't perfect. So he likes reading magazines and looking at models - welcome to the free world! I have a girlfriend and I have a subscription to Maxim. The two are not related in any way. I don't wish I had any of them and I don't think any less of my girlfriend because of them. So get over yourselves and your insecurities.

[faux]

Originally posted by Darkangelism

Most guys look at models, we are not going to leave you for them, or think any less of you. Remember they are airbrushed, they do not look that good in real life. If you have a problem with it tell him, so he can make an adjustment.

 

My sister is a model. She admits there is quite a bit of makeup involved and special lighting, and computer touch-ups could happen later on. Models still look quite good in real life.

 

There is nothing wrong in admiring beauty or art. If your boyfriend's behavior bothers you then talk to him about it.

[yes]

looking is just that - looking. i have three pics of women who i think are insanely hot on my desk... and i'm a straight girl!! so don't make a big deal out of it. although, i agree, the shouldn't gawk in your presence.

 

my 2c,

-yes

[Fritz]

If it bugs you that much, talk to him about it and if he cares, he'll work with you. Its usually just normal guy behavior of enjoying female beauty. Just put a few cosmo mags in their too.

 

I got a free subcription to maxim and fhm off the net awhile back. They're the male version of cosmo but IMHO, they're better than playboy these days.

 

I had to laugh awhile back. At a bookstore on the magazine rack was Stuff or FHM with "sex tips to please your woman" type headline "advice" on the cover and just down the shelf was Cosmo with "sex tips to please your man!" on the cover. Of course, there was a pretty woman on both magazine covers which always boggles me a bit. I like cosmo. I don't read it but they have some very fine women on their covers.

[Leigh Anne]

Umm...ok, most men subscribe to magazines like Maxim, Stuff, FHM, funny thing is, I'm a girl, and I have them all over my bathroom! They're fun to read, the women are hot. Nothing wrong with them Are you actually jealous of some images of women in a magazine? It's not even porn!!!! Your man doesn't even look at women in the streets!!!! This is a non-problem problem! You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. It really shouldn't come down to this; people censoring each other from what they can look at. Your insecurity is your insecurity. You really do not have a right to make him stop reading magazines he enjoys. That is overstepping the boundaries into what is appropriate for you to dictate as his girlfriend.

 

If your self esteem is dictated by some women in a magazine, you have major issues, and please, I advise you, seek some counseling for this. No he is not comparing you to them. If this is the case, then I would be more afraid of his work place and the street then some magazines! Also, can't a person acknowledge another person's beauty without comparing them to their significant others? I think, for example, that Brad Pitt is hot, but no, I don't compare him to my boyfriend or wish he was my boyfriend, that's just ludicrous. Again, just because a person is in a relationship does not mean their attraction buttons automatically shut off. Admiring beauty is not a crime! Please seek some counseling, it will make you feel a lot better about yourself.