open heart surgery

[sherry-ann]

Recently, I had a fight with my parents. I'm going to be twenty and I live at home cause I'm going to school. Anyway, we got in a fight because I find them way to controlling. I had to get away from my house so I went and spent the night at this guy I'm seeing's house. Nothing happened, we spoke til like 3 in the morning. He was really sweet and understanding. My only problem here is the following: I get too attached to people. I guess I'm scared to let my self get attached to him because the last relationship I had broke my heart when I had to break up with my guy. I know it's normal to not want to get hurt but I almost would rather avoid a good thing in case it turns bad. So, when I stayed over at his place and we started to make out after a while, I had to stop myself cause I have this mental block. It's like i've put up a wall over my heart to protect myself. What should I do? He likes me alot and has tld me this and I feel bad that I can't say it back. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Tony T]

There is no pill or magic potion to take your heart off guard. It simply takes time, maturity and the ability to handle whatever experiences befall you. You have to realize that the nature of loving requires risk and that risks are not always successful. If you think for a minute that you can go through life with every enterprise you enter being successful, you have a very high self esteem. A positive attitude is great, but realistically speaking, we can't always have things work out. If failure did not exist, success would be pretty meaningless overall.

 

Love is especially risky for a sensitive person. But once you understand that love is to be enjoyed on a minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day basis, you have made it. The old saying...It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...is really true. If you don't take the risk, you will have missed out on the best life has to offer.

 

The only way you'll get yourself off your guard thing, which incidentally will screw up your relationships faster than anything, is to resolve to love in the moment and for as long as you can. If it lasts forever, well great. If it wasn't, that's great too because you got to love and enjoy the moments...and you earned the opportunity to move another step closer to the love of your life.

 

Oh yes, hurt is not fun. It hurts!!! But the alternative is to never have experienced joy and happiness.

 

If you just want only loves pleasures and none of its pain, you probably ought to forget about love and go on to other things.

[Deejette]

Loving is a great part of life and if it hurts, it is still worth the price. I used to wait "for the other shoe to drop" when love was wonderful. And I thought that the more beautiful the relationship, the more hurtful was the downside when things did not go my way. But I am still glad I took the risk, instead of turning into a pillar of ice to protect my heart.

There is no pill or magic potion to take your heart off guard. It simply takes time, maturity and the ability to handle whatever experiences befall you. You have to realize that the nature of loving requires risk and that risks are not always successful. If you think for a minute that you can go through life with every enterprise you enter being successful, you have a very high self esteem. A positive attitude is great, but realistically speaking, we can't always have things work out. If failure did not exist, success would be pretty meaningless overall. Love is especially risky for a sensitive person. But once you understand that love is to be enjoyed on a minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day basis, you have made it. The old saying...It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...is really true. If you don't take the risk, you will have missed out on the best life has to offer. The only way you'll get yourself off your guard thing, which incidentally will screw up your relationships faster than anything, is to resolve to love in the moment and for as long as you can. If it lasts forever, well great. If it wasn't, that's great too because you got to love and enjoy the moments...and you earned the opportunity to move another step closer to the love of your life. Oh yes, hurt is not fun. It hurts!!! But the alternative is to never have experienced joy and happiness. If you just want only loves pleasures and none of its pain, you probably ought to forget about love and go on to other things.