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need help (I am hesitant to get married now).


fadi20

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I've been dating a woman for two years now. I do love her, but she's been pressuring me into getting married. I can see myself with her for the rest of my life, but I just don't think I'm ready for that step yet. I'm 33, she's 31, and she's worried that we're getting old and wants to start a family soon. I can understand her reasons, but I am still hesitant to get married now.

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Night-Pheonix

Take a look at things... Do you know you're going to spend your life with her? Is there anythings you need to work out? How close are you really? how much do you trust her? Are their any unresolved problems?..

 

You might just be a little nervous, when the time comes you'll know what to do.

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befuddled11

You've been with her for 2 years. You obviously know her very well, after that period of time......her good points, her bad points, etc.

 

You said you DO see spending the rest of your life with her.......yet after all this, you don't feel ready, yet, to decide to marry. So what's up? What's going on?

 

As a woman, I can understand her position. She's invested 2 yrs of her life with you, she's not exactly getting any younger.......she probably doesn't want to be in her mid 50s with kids in high school (if she's someone like me and looks to the future)......she obviously feels that you're someone she wants to spend her life with........because she loves you. If after 2 yrs, you're still "not sure" about marriage, she may have to make the decision, for herself, to end it with you......because life is short, and she doesn't want to invest time in someone who's not on the same wavelength and time-plan as her. Plus, who's to say you'll be ready for marriage in another year? or 2? Is she willing to take the "chance" that you will be ready? That's a big risk to take.

 

I think you need to stop and figure out what's keeping you from wanting to marry her.

 

Do you 2 live together now?

 

How is your relationship?

 

Do you associate marriage with being "tied down and imprisoned"? When you think of marriage, what comes to mind?

 

2 yrs, at your age, should be plenty of time to figure out for sure whether you want to take the plunge and commit your life to her...and if you're not sure -- if you're so uncertain, then maybe that's a sign that you're not right for one another.

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