Next steps?

[Owl]

But see Owl, you're intentionally ignoring the fact that I already told you about my past relationship status and my "posting status" here at LS. Basically you're just trying to "ruffle feathers."

 

If anyone is hiding anything, it is as JMK and RM called you on, your denial about YOUR own relationship status.

 

Ahhh...but you simply said "she cheated, I divorced her".

 

Was it an emotional relationship with OM? Was it emotional and physical? Physical only? One time? Two times? Thirty two times? Did you try to reconcile?

 

See...YOU try to call into question my ability to post here because you don't feel that an EA is the same damage as a PA...well...let's hear about what you dealt with so we can determine whether or not your ability to post advice will match the threads you post to.

 

Same applies to RM and JMK for that matter.

 

I really am interested in your past posting history and the "cheating story" behind the advice you offer here. Give us any other names you've posted under so we can go back and read your posting history as appropriate too.

Edited June 27, 2011 by Owl

[What_Next]

Oh boy what mess .

 

Owl, you know better than to bring yourself down to their level. It's just not worth it. You also know they will do precisely what I have said they will, burn themselves out and go away. Idiots.

 

Why not go off and start your own threads on backstories etc and leave this one alone?

 

Oh well, the only way it seems to be able to read many threads lately is to use the ignore list and filter out all this nonsense. Too bad, LS has really gone downhill lately.

[RepairMinded]

So the bottom line is that neither one of you is willing to be honest and up front about your pasts relationship status or posting status here on LS?

 

Something to hide?

 

Yes I will be honest about my relationship history.

 

I never threatened my significant other with divorce if she were to get on an airplane to go see her boyfriend.

[RepairMinded]

Ahhh...but you simply said "she cheated, I divorced her".

 

He did say that, and it's completely consistent with Mr. Harris's hard core anti cheating attitude. You don't have to agree with it but I'm not sure what you think is so difficult to understand about Mr. Harris.

 

 

Was it an emotional relationship with OM? Was it emotional and physical? Physical only? One time? Two times? Thirty two times? Did you try to reconcile?

 

Clearly these are irrelevancies in that you haven't stated what Mr. Harris has said that you actually disagree with, nor why.

 

 

 

 

See...YOU try to call into question my ability to post here because you don't feel that an EA is the same damage as a PA...

 

Actually it was you Owl who have previously distinguished between an EA (which your wife had, and which you felt was forgivable) and a PA (which you do not believe your wife had, but have stated if she had it, would be unforgivable in your mind).

 

I'm not sure that Harris has ever made such a distinction, but in this thread, it doesn't matter, since kidd's wife had BOTH an emotional affair AND a physical affair with her OM.

 

If this was a thread involving one or the other (sexual but no emotional, or emotional but no sexual), then it might make a difference if Harris believes one is "worse" than the other. But it's not such a factual scenario here.

 

 

 

well...let's hear about what you dealt with so we can determine whether or not your ability to post advice will match the threads you post to.

 

He doesn't need to. He can simply state: "I agree with Owl that any sexual infidelity is an absolute deal-breaker." For purposes of this thread, that would be a sufficient response.

 

Same applies to RM and JMK for that matter.

 

Very simple. Who do you think you are in disagreement with? It's not me. You're the one who doesn't tolerate any sexual infidelity in your relationship. I totally agree that if that's the way you feel, it's a legitimate perspective.

 

 

 

 

I really am interested in your past posting history and the "cheating story" behind the advice you offer here. Give us any other names you've posted under so we can go back and read your posting history as appropriate too.

 

 

Why? Pointing out that you already have determined that sexual infidelity is an absolute deal breaker is completely dispositive of any meaningful contribution you might wish to make in this thread.

[Owl]

So the bottom line is that somehow I don't have any ability to post credible advice to posters here on the LS forum because I fought and ended my wife's affair before it was allowed to become both emotional and physical...

 

...and then went on to post and study, learn and post on this forum and others for seven years...

 

...but those that can't admit their own past in detail and only have a "current" username with 3 weeks worth of posting somehow should have more credibility and appropriate advice then mine?

 

 

Good grief.

[RepairMinded]

And it's funny how one particular poster is steady using "sneak attacks" by calling us idiots then mention how he loves the ignore feature on LS, when he's been cheating on his wife with another LS member, who cheated on her husband multiple times.

 

Really? Someone who is posting in this thread is actually currently cheating on his wife with another LS member?

 

Can the person who this is, please raise their hand.

 

Thanks.

[RepairMinded]

So the bottom line is that somehow I don't have any ability to post credible advice to posters here on the LS forum because I fought and ended my wife's affair before it was allowed to become both emotional and physical...

 

No, the point is that your perspective, previously expressed, is that ANY sexual infidelity is intolerable and unrecoverable. That is totally dispositive of kidd's scenario, UNLESS you have changed your mind about whether sexual infidelity, especially prolonged and repeated, is recoverable.

 

You have also previously stated that you don't believe you should post in threads involving factual scenarios which you don't have personal experience with, such as divorce. But that would obviously also include cases of sexual infidelity in which the parties want to try to reconcile, since you have no personal experience with that, either.

 

Therefore unless your perspective has somehow changed, dramatically, in a way which you haven't bothered to describe, I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.

 

...and then went on to post and study, learn and post on this forum and others for seven years...

 

That's fine. As a result of your years of study, do you now believe that long term sexual affairs are recoverable, and if so, how would you apply that knowledge to kidd's situation? What has changed in the seven years that has changed your mind about the recoverability from sexual affairs?

 

If you would actually try to answer those questions it would be of great value to others.

 

...but those that can't admit their own past in detail and only have a "current" username with 3 weeks worth of posting somehow should have more credibility and appropriate advice then mine?

 

 

Good grief.

 

You don't have to believe anyone to be credible based on their posting history, the contents of their post, nor anything else.

 

I think the problem is that you simply have trouble backing up what your own advice is, in the face of being challenged on its inherent logic.

[RepairMinded]

But as I said before, you have no experience with a wife who has had sex with another man so no matter how hard you try, you won't gain that experience, that is, unless your wife cheats again and this time, going the full 9 yards.

 

I disagree with this as a general proposition, because a poster really doesn't need to have personal experience to be able to add something to a discussion. I can analyze something without necessarily having personally experienced it. Personal experience can make my analysis better, but sometimes worse (total lack of objectivity, too close to the issue).

 

Except, in Owl's case, he in particular has criticized others for posting in threads not reflecting their personal experience, so applying his own standard to himself, he shouldn't really be posting in sexual infidelity threads, UNLESS he can offer some explanation of why he changed his mind about this that makes sense.

 

Also, there is no need to go back and forth about posting histories and personal histories if we simply accept Owl's own statement of his situation, in which he only has personal experience with emotional infidelity and that any sexual infidelity would be a deal breaker.

 

I don't really see the point of Owl doing this, since I have never said the "hard core" anti cheating approach is not a permissible option.

[silktricks]

If you are talking about casual multi-dating then you are correct.

 

However, if a couple is engaged to be married cheating before marriage is much worse.

 

Absolutely it is. I will freely admit that I haven't read too much of this thread as the hydra seems to be eating it. I've just found that some people, especially (for example) teenagers, seem to think that just because they think they are in an exclusive relationship that the other person will think the same. And we all know what assumptions do...

[What_Next]

And it's funny how one particular poster is steady using "sneak attacks" by calling us idiots then mention how he loves the ignore feature on LS, when he's been cheating on his wife with another LS member, who cheated on her husband multiple times.

 

You are referring to me and your information is incorrect. Not surprising though as you usually have no clue what you are speaking of, like I said a one trick pony with little of value to say. My story is out there in my original thread on LS for anyone to read, I've NOTHING to hide. No sneak attack, I do in fact think you are an idiot. I have yet to add you to my ignore list, but I guess I will be forced to since I have little desire to keep up with this foolishness. The only reason I am directly posting to you now is that you once again have quoted incorrect information.

[RepairMinded]

Well Harris, now I'm going to call you out. (Sorry no choice in the matter.)

 

You have made a serious claim concerning What Next. So, who is it at LS that you claim What Next is having an affair with? Can you back that up?

 

If not, I would think apologies are in order!

 

(Prove me wrong. Please.)

[What_Next]

Should anyone want to go blind reading, my original thread and the backstory of what happened to my marriage is out there for anyone to read. I'll leave this discussion as it is pointless. Kidd I wish you nothing but the best.

 

Repairminded I appreciate the sentiment, but I want no apology nor any further interaction with this idiot.

Edited June 27, 2011 by What_Next

[Mz. Pixie]

So the bottom line is that somehow I don't have any ability to post credible advice to posters here on the LS forum because I fought and ended my wife's affair before it was allowed to become both emotional and physical...

 

...and then went on to post and study, learn and post on this forum and others for seven years...

 

...but those that can't admit their own past in detail and only have a "current" username with 3 weeks worth of posting somehow should have more credibility and appropriate advice then mine?

 

 

Good grief.

 

Right. You're beginning to get your head right now, aren't you?

 

What next is right though-we've seen this before Owl-it won't last. Mr. Harris and JMK have gone on my ignore list. I guess RM will have to as well since I can't seem to get through a thread of actually trying to help people with no agenda without the three of them trying to beat me into submission.

 

I used to take great delight in going toe to toe with such lunacy but my time is just too valuable right now. I think he actually thought I was suggesting posting a persons email openly on the board without asking the person first. Which is hilarious. To insinuate I can't be trusted either is hilarious. There are people on here who I know who they are in real life-who I have cooresponded with in real life-and who I have never told who they are openly.

 

You know why I still come here Owl-and I know you have seen me grow over the years.

[silktricks]

Right. You're beginning to get your head right now, aren't you?

 

What next is right though-we've seen this before Owl-it won't last. Mr. Harris and JMK have gone on my ignore list. I guess RM will have to as well since I can't seem to get through a thread of actually trying to help people with no agenda without the three of them trying to beat me into submission.

 

I used to take great delight in going toe to toe with such lunacy but my time is just too valuable right now. I think he actually thought I was suggesting posting a persons email openly on the board without asking the person first. Which is hilarious. To insinuate I can't be trusted either is hilarious. There are people on here who I know who they are in real life-who I have cooresponded with in real life-and who I have never told who they are openly.

 

You know why I still come here Owl-and I know you have seen me grow over the years.

 

It's great to have you back! I think the hydra (currently JMK, MH, and RM) may eventually give up if simply ignored.

[Mz. Pixie]

Waving at Silly Tricks!

 

Glad to be back. I am now officially ignorning. I guess you have missed the severe pounding I've been getting the last several pages. :lmao:

[RepairMinded]

My proof is here.

 

Oh, my.

 

What a trainwreck.

[Mme. Chaucer]

The hydra is just a three headed sock puppet, right?

[silktricks]

The hydra is just a three headed sock puppet, right?

 

Yup. Lop one off, it'll just grow a new one.

[Kidd]

Right. And this isn't getting personal. Strange that I've never felt an urge to dig up someone else's dirt since I've been on this forum. Much less tried to manipulate two reconciliations while they are in progress much less if I'd been asked politelyto butt out. What @$$holes. Why don't you two go f*ck yourselves when you're done holding your d*cks while you get off on other people's misery.

[What_Next]

Well put Kidd, it doesn't much bother me really. I've not hidden any part of my story as painful and as awful has it has been. My wife and I are doing our best to try and put our relationship back together and give it a real shot. As you are Kidd. Don't let these idiots scare you away from that and the positive benefits that can come from LS.

[Kidd]

Glad someone saw it before it comes down. Think Owl might say I violated the TOS.

 

W_N, don't quit. If you both have baggage, both of you put it behind you and go back to what you loved about each other. Stop talking about the affairs and trust. Quit reading. Rebuild with care. The fact that you ARE still together says it all to me.

[What_Next]

I'm not going anywhere Kidd. Rest assured on that fact.

[John Michael Kane]

Right. And this isn't getting personal.

 

Looks like it must be personal if you typed this below...

 

Strange that I've never felt an urge to dig up someone else's dirt since I've been on this forum. Much less tried to manipulate two reconciliations while they are in progress much less if I'd been asked politelyto butt out. What @$$holes. Why don't you two go f*ck yourselves when you're done holding your d*cks while you get off on other people's misery.

 

I wouldn't necessarily say they're getting off on other people's misery, because the last few pages have been 6 other posters "picking" with RM and Mr.Harris because they don't like their views on cheating.

 

Now I will agree that Mr.Harris probably went a little too far actually bringing up evidence of two LS posters engaging in an affair but it is nonetheless, the truth.

[Owl]

So, Kidd...since you're here posting...let's try to get this on track.

 

What SPECIFIC actions are you and your wife taking to try to deal with all of this stuff right now?

 

Marriage counseling? Individual counseling?

 

I recall you've read some good books...what specific strategies are the two of you employing from that research?

[What_Next]

The third head of the hydra has come out of hiding. . I'm sure the other 2 will be along shortly with their nonsense.

 

I highly doubt Kidd will speak in specifics about his situation on this thread which is sad because I am sure the hydra will come along and swallow up any valuable advice/information given. Sad really.