AmericanHoney Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 If a guy is a player that has lots of dates lined up and talks to alot of girls and a girl has lots of dates lined up and collects alot of phone numbers does that make her slutty?? lucky?? I always wondered...... I always see my co-workers bragging I got this guys number at the club and this guys number at the club look at my cell with all these guys numbers and then they say I got a date with so and so on friday so and so on saturday and I might have a date on sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Aren't most girls like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 Not that I am aware of or at least not the ones I hang out with. They only stick to one guy. I guess I am hanging with the wrong crowd:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 As far as I know when you're dating a girl, she will keep her options open and even if you've been seeing her for a few months she will still be open to what's around her. I've had many girls just stop texting me or seeing me out of the blue only to find out they were seeing someone else just a couple of days after. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 Gotcha makes sense. I never knew that I guess you learn something new everyday:) Link to post Share on other sites
stepka Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 As far as I know when you're dating a girl, she will keep her options open and even if you've been seeing her for a few months she will still be open to what's around her. I've had many girls just stop texting me or seeing me out of the blue only to find out they were seeing someone else just a couple of days after. You're hanging out with the wrong kinds of girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) You're hanging out with the wrong kinds of girls. I've been told this before, but that thing I said about keeping their options open I've heard is true. Post edited to include video. Edited June 16, 2011 by Ginger Beer Link to post Share on other sites
Intergalactic Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) there is absolutely no issue with a girl who gets a lot of phone numbers and has a lot of dates with different men. there could be any number of reasons why she does this like maybe she is polyamorous, maybe she is not interested in a relationship and wants to keep things fun, maybe she is casually dating until she finds someone she likes, maybe she just likes to get phone numbers for an ego boost. this only becomes a problem if she promises one thing to one man and does something else - ie she agrees to exclusivity and she continues to date other men. when she begins to hide what she is doing, there's an issue. she is definitely not a "slut". nobody is a slut in the terms you are speaking of - that's hate speech. Edited June 16, 2011 by Intergalactic Link to post Share on other sites
Intergalactic Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 ps - here is a great quote from the makers of the blog "the pervocracy". "If we understand "slut" to mean "someone (usually a woman) who dresses sexy, acts sexual, and/or has a lot of sex," there's absolutely no harm done. "Slut" only became an insult because our culture is completely screwed up about sex, so instead of dealing with it head-on, we assigned it such a tremendous emotional load that instead of saying "Slut is bad because X," we could just say "SLUT!" and have people feel bad from that alone, no logical rationale required. Having sex without freely given consent, sex that involves dishonesty or manipulation, sex that spreads diseases or causes unwanted pregnancies--these are bad things. But none of them is inherent to being a "slut." A slut who does their slutting safely, honestly, and consensually is enjoying and sharing pleasure and joy." source: http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/search/label/slutwalk Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I always hear when guys brag about banging a bunch of girls hey they are studs and get high fives all over the place but if a girl does that she is automatically a slut. It is just how society is ( not always) just sometimes. I would never call anyone a slut that is just plain wrong! It was more of a general question than anything else. I remember back " in the day" my dad had a little black book of all the numbers of girls he met a bars,etc I guess nowadays the little black book is gone and now it is a cell phone with numbers. The girls at my work they love a good ego boost that is for sure:p Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) Ya well there are double standards for each gender. Generally speaking, a man who has a lot of women are perceived as studs while a woman who has a lot of men are often perceived as whores. But at the same time, having a lot of women for a man comes with a price. It is costly for a man to have a lot of women because he still has to spend at least some money on each of those women while a woman with a lot of men on the other hand can expect her dating expenses to get paid for by each of those men. So just like everything else in this world, there is good and bad for each side. Edited June 16, 2011 by musemaj11 Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I don't think someone is a player just for having lots of dates or even for having lots of sex, because I don't think you need to be a player to do either of those. But back to the question, almost... I think gender neutral words for describing some of the characteristics of a male player and a similar female could be: manipulative, sleazy. Female equivalent? Tricky one... perhaps hussy (which seems to include 'brazen' or 'shameless' in some definitions, and goes beyond merely 'promiscuous')? I'm now donning fireproof overalls. Link to post Share on other sites
Ouroboros Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Guys are philanderers and womanizers while women have too many names to be called for example slut, but these are more terms for sexual promiscuity. People who play games like the one you speak of are called people to avoid. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 there is absolutely no issue with a girl who gets a lot of phone numbers and has a lot of dates with different men. there could be any number of reasons why she does this like maybe she is polyamorous, maybe she is not interested in a relationship and wants to keep things fun, maybe she is casually dating until she finds someone she likes, maybe she just likes to get phone numbers for an ego boost. this only becomes a problem if she promises one thing to one man and does something else - ie she agrees to exclusivity and she continues to date other men. when she begins to hide what she is doing, there's an issue. she is definitely not a "slut". nobody is a slut in the terms you are speaking of - that's hate speech.Hate speech? Really? You honestly think people should be prosecuted for using the word "slut"? Link to post Share on other sites
Velociraptor Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Girls get guy's numbers? And then brag about it? Are you for real? Girls don't take guy's numbers because girls don't initiate phone calls. If a girl is intrested she would give her phone number to the guy. And besides if a girl wanted a guys number she would get it with ease. That's not really anything worth braggin about. You think a guy will play hard to get and go "i dont think so" if a girl asks for his number? I don't think so, he will more than likely be very enthusiastic and happy... unless theres something wrong with the girl. Link to post Share on other sites
lolo1234 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I've also heard a woman player to be called a man eater Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 They are players just like men are and while they can be good fun and it is a huge mistake to try and have a relationship with one. Also while I don't agree with word saying it's hate speech is certainly going too far. Everything negative against somebody is not hate speech. I consider myself liberal but I would rather people say what they truly feel instead of hiding behind a thin veil of politeness that we call political correctness. Link to post Share on other sites
Velociraptor Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 The girls at my work they love a good ego boost that is for sure:p Where's the ego boost in getting a guys number? Link to post Share on other sites
Ouroboros Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Where's the ego boost in getting a guys number? It validates their attractiveness to the opposite sex. That's as important to a woman as sex is to men. Link to post Share on other sites
Velociraptor Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 It validates their attractiveness to the opposite sex. That's as important to a woman as sex is to men. Isn't it a bigger ego boost if a man asks for their number instead? Women don't like making the first move. Women don't like calling guys. I can understand that they like it when guys asks for their number and calls them. But I can't understand why a woman would even want to ask for a guys number. Link to post Share on other sites
Intergalactic Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) Also while I don't agree with word saying it's hate speech is certainly going too far. Everything negative against somebody is not hate speech. using the word "slut" as an offensive name for someone who does nothing other than sleep with many people, or date many people, or wears certain clothes, or acts in a certain way or - and more often than not - for someone who has wronged you in some way or you simply don't like is exactly hate speech. calling someone a slut is not expressing how you feel. it's a derogatory word to use against a person for no other reason than to incite fear or guilt or the like in that person and hatred toward that person, either by a group of people or just yourself. here are some definitions, google search turns up more. "Speech not protected by the First Amendment, because it is intended to foster hatred against individuals or groups based on race, religion, gender, sexual preference, place of national origin, or other improper classification" - http://law.yourdictionary.com/hate-speech "any speech or written work which is intended to offend or degrade a person on the grounds of their ethnicity, sexuality, disability etc" - http://www.mediadictionary.com/definition/hate-speech.html "Hate speech is a communication that carries no meaning other than the expression of hatred for some group ... It is an incitement to hatred primarily against a group of persons defined in terms of race, ethnicity, national origin, gender, religion, sexual orientation, and the like" - http://definitions.uslegal.com/h/hate-speech/ Edited June 16, 2011 by Intergalactic Link to post Share on other sites
Intergalactic Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Isn't it a bigger ego boost if a man asks for their number instead? Women don't like making the first move. Women don't like calling guys. I can understand that they like it when guys asks for their number and calls them. But I can't understand why a woman would even want to ask for a guys number. i love to make the first move. it is a massive ego boost to go up to a good looking guy, chat to him, have a few drinks and leave with his number. i'd rather get a number than give it because then i have the power to call or not call - the ball's in my court and it feels goooooood. Link to post Share on other sites
Ouroboros Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Isn't it a bigger ego boost if a man asks for their number instead? Women don't like making the first move. Women don't like calling guys. I can understand that they like it when guys asks for their number and calls them. But I can't understand why a woman would even want to ask for a guys number. Most of the time when a woman gets a guy's number she didn't ask for it. He gave it to her in hopes she would call. It gives her the power. Link to post Share on other sites
Velociraptor Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Most of the time when a woman gets a guy's number she didn't ask for it. He gave it to her in hopes she would call. It gives her the power. True. But I got the impression that the women the OP was talking about asked for guys numbers, but maybe it wasn't. If a guy is intrested he won't give his number to the girl. He will ask for her number and then call her. That's why either way I think it's a bit strange that those women brag about it, those guys were not that intrested or if the woman did ask for the guys number... whats the big deal? It's easy for a woman to get a guys number if she wanted too. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 using the word "slut" as an offensive name for someone who does nothing other than sleep with many people, or date many people, or wears certain clothes, or acts in a certain way or - and more often than not - for someone who has wronged you in some way or you simply don't like is exactly hate speech. calling someone a slut is not expressing how you feel. it's a derogatory word to use against a person for no other reason than to incite fear or guilt or the like in that person and hatred toward that person, either by a group of people or just yourself. here are some definitions, google search turns up more. "Speech not protected by the First Amendment, because it is intended to foster hatred against individuals or groups based on race, religion, gender, sexual preference, place of national origin, or other improper classification" - http://law.yourdictionary.com/hate-speech "any speech or written work which is intended to offend or degrade a person on the grounds of their ethnicity, sexuality, disability etc" - http://www.mediadictionary.com/definition/hate-speech.html "Hate speech is a communication that carries no meaning other than the expression of hatred for some group ... It is an incitement to hatred primarily against a group of persons defined in terms of race, ethnicity, national origin, gender, religion, sexual orientation, and the like" - http://definitions.uslegal.com/h/hate-speech/ So people should be locked up for using the word slut in your view? Link to post Share on other sites
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