Its finally set in stone, she hates me

[jacksonBrown]

my girlfriend of 3 years broke it off with me 6 weeks ago we tried to stay friends with a few txts here and there i tried to get her back on many occasions she denied them all i begged i pleaded and at the very end told her i was thinking about ending my life nothing worked she just flat out said no we cant be together then my passion turned to hatred i got really drunk and called her a bitch on my face book and told all my mutual friends to delete her.

 

i guess she must of seen this and blocked me truth was i never wanted her to hate me and i dont hate her i was angry drunk and feeling rejected and needed to vent, anyway i didnt find out she had blocked me tilll last night and it hurt.. its obviouse i'm not over her so i decided to txt her;

 

' U blocked me off facebook so i guess you hate me now i'm sorry for the things i said i never wanted you to hate me,i know we cant be together now and we wont. but i dont hate you i could never hate you were my best friend for too long...'

 

no reply so this morning i sent her another one

 

dont hate me, i never wanted us to be on bad terms i respect your decision now, friends??

 

no reply so i sent another saying

 

' i guess your not goin to reply thats fair enuff just wanted to say thanks for the b day wishes and coming to see me in hospital that was kind of you

i'm sorry for telling ppl to delete you off face book i was in a bad way that night. i hope one day we can be friends, take care,

 

This time i got a reply not one that i had been hoping for the tho she said;

 

'please dont txt me anymore, thanks'

 

i replyed ' i wont just wanted to clear the air but suit yourself'

 

man her reply hit me like a dagger to the heart i never wanted her to hate me, even tho i know i shouldn't care we not together anymore, but i always wanted to leave the lines of communication open i wasn't going to bug her anymore but i also wanted the lines open so she could contact me,

 

but i guess those lines are well and truley shut now its sad to me that someone i spent everyday with for 3 years if i was to see on the street now we would avoid eachother but i guess that wat breakups are all about its not goin to be all good, you cant stay friends its just completely ova and now i'm pretty sure she hates me, its abit depressing i know i will come to a day where i dont think about her or care that we cant be together i just never wanted it to be end on bad terms i think i will always have love for her in some way.

Edited June 16, 2011 by jacksonBrown

[jacksonBrown]

even after she told me not to txt her anymore i feel compelled to write another quick one to say ' sorry it had to end this way'

but i know that'll just piss her off even more so i'm not goin to send anything

 

the thing is uptill last night when i hadn't seen that she had blocked me i was feeling pretty good about the break up i knew it was over and that i was moving on she was officially out of my life but to know that she hates me that one hurt and made me break NC

 

i'm also thinking about sending her a really rude msg some like Ef you, you Effing B i know that would kill any chance of ever ever getting back together but maybe thats a good thing,

its hard tho coz deep down i'd love to rekindle something even if its years down the track

Edited June 16, 2011 by jacksonBrown

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

I know the feeling...

 

seems like all the little things hurt the most, but I would stop communication with her and go 100% NC and trust me I know how hard this is but also trust me when I say it gets easier.

 

try exercising if you aren't already it will help you feel good with the endorphins and you'll be in much better shape (more attractive). also try to fill your day with things to keep you busy.

 

and as for her acting this way... love and hate are two sides of the same coin, I'd only worry if she was completely indifferent towards you and I find that very hard to believe she feels indifferent about you especially after 3 years.

 

and think of it this way, at least she asked you not to text her any more. that shows some level of respect in itself.

 

I recently just figured out that my ex changed her number after telling me she still wanted me to be part of her life, she deleted me off of facebook, and yesterday sent me an IM trying to argue over everything and also said she is seeing someone.

 

 

I tell you this for many reasons...

 

1.) you don't have it as bad as you think (try not to over analyse every little thing)

2.) you need to be emotionally prepared for the worst.

3.) It WILL get worse (her finding someone new). I tell you this not to be mean, rude, or even hurt you, but to hopefully make you see that you need to prepare for such times.

 

 

it will get better, I was with my ex for 3 1/2 half years and we to saw each other everyday. she left me 11 weeks ago.

[jacksonBrown]

I know the feeling...

 

seems like all the little things hurt the most, but I would stop communication with her and go 100% NC and trust me I know how hard this is but also trust me when I say it gets easier.

 

try exercising if you aren't already it will help you feel good with the endorphins and you'll be in much better shape (more attractive). also try to fill your day with things to keep you busy.

 

and as for her acting this way... love and hate are two sides of the same coin, I'd only worry if she was completely indifferent towards you and I find that very hard to believe she feels indifferent about you especially after 3 years.

 

and think of it this way, at least she asked you not to text her any more. that shows some level of respect in itself.

 

I recently just figured out that my ex changed her number after telling me she still wanted me to be part of her life, she deleted me off of facebook, and yesterday sent me an IM trying to argue over everything and also said she is seeing someone.

 

 

I tell you this for many reasons...

 

1.) you don't have it as bad as you think (try not to over analyse every little thing)

2.) you need to be emotionally prepared for the worst.

3.) It WILL get worse (her finding someone new). I tell you this not to be mean, rude, or even hurt you, but to hopefully make you see that you need to prepare for such times.

 

 

it will get better, I was with my ex for 3 1/2 half years and we to saw each other everyday. she left me 11 weeks ago.

 

i feel for you mate hope your coping alright?

wat does indifference mean? is that when she just doens't care about me cause thats exactly wat it feels like blocking me off facebook so i cant evan search her name, then not responding once to any of my messages about being friends she always said she wanted to stay friends but after i said that stuff on facebook its like she hates me now?

 

then saying please stop messaging me... i guess its just a realisation for me that this one really is over i cant get over her coldness towards me now she just has no interest wat so ever

[TaraMaiden]

Ok, let's see precisely what we have here....

 

my girlfriend of 3 years broke it off with me 6 weeks ago we tried to stay friends with a few txts here and there i tried to get her back on many occasions she denied them all

 

(you have to understand that when a woman says no - she means NO.)

 

i begged i pleaded and at the very end told her i was thinking about ending my life

 

This is disgustingly, despicably low, and making that kind of a blackmail thereat just exposes the kind of person you are. It's completely the wrong thing you could have done. It's completely manipulative, and I find your desperation unforgivable, just exactly as she must have done....

 

nothing worked she just flat out said no we cant be together

 

(you have to understand that when a woman says no - she means NO. #2)

 

then my passion turned to hatred i got really drunk and called her a bitch on my face book and told all my mutual friends to delete her.

Nice. I can see what she saw in you.

Tad immature, don't you think?

 

i guess she must of seen this and blocked me truth was i never wanted her to hate me and i dont hate her i was angry drunk and feeling rejected and needed to vent,

 

Drunkedness and anger are actually no excuse. they simply serve to illustrate what poor control you have over yourself....

 

anyway i didnt find out she had blocked me tilll last night and it hurt.. its obviouse i'm not over her

She didn't care.

She's over you...

 

so i decided to txt her;

 

' U blocked me off facebook so i guess you hate me now i'm sorry for the things i said i never wanted you to hate me,i know we cant be together now and we wont. but i dont hate you i could never hate you were my best friend for too long...'

Big whacking mistake #1;

 

no reply so this morning i sent her another one

 

dont hate me, i never wanted us to be on bad terms i respect your decision now, friends??

Big whacking mistake #2;

 

no reply so i sent another saying

 

' i guess your not goin to reply thats fair enuff just wanted to say thanks for the b day wishes and coming to see me in hospital that was kind of you

i'm sorry for telling ppl to delete you off face book i was in a bad way that night. i hope one day we can be friends, take care,

Big whacking mistake #3.

 

This time i got a reply not one that i had been hoping for the tho she said;

 

'please dont txt me anymore, thanks'

 

(you have to understand that when a woman says no - she means NO. #3)

 

i replyed ' i wont just wanted to clear the air but suit yourself'

Big whacking mistake #4..... You just didn't get it, did you?

 

man her reply hit me like a dagger to the heart i never wanted her to hate me, even tho i know i shouldn't care we not together anymore, but i always wanted to leave the lines of communication open i wasn't going to bug her anymore but i also wanted the lines open so she could contact me,

You've come across as needy, immature, selfish, disrespectful and uncontrolled. You turned from a friend into a persistent pest, and her affection rapidly turned to irritation, because you simply wouldn't take no for an answer.

 

This is your big lesson here:

Man up: and know that when she says No - she means it.

 

 

even after she told me not to txt her anymore i feel compelled to write another quick one to say ' sorry it had to end this way'

but i know that'll just piss her off even more so i'm not goin to send anything

 

Resist that temptation, whatever you do....

 

i'm also thinking about sending her a really rude msg some like Ef you, you Effing B i know that would kill any chance of ever ever getting back together but maybe thats a good thing,

 

Yeah, sure....good move...? No.

That would simply confirm what I said:

 

You've come across as needy, immature, selfish, disrespectful and uncontrolled. You turned from a friend into a persistent pest, and her affection rapidly turned to irritation, because you simply wouldn't rtake no for an answer.

its hard tho coz deep down i'd love to rekindle something even if its years down the track

I will tell you now, straight up, no-nonsense:

 

FORGET THIS.

 

No way will you ever be able to accomplish this. She has already moved on, you are history, and it's over, for good.

Rebuild your life and move on, because holding on to try to rekindle something years down the track is a complete, total and utter waste of your life.

By then, she'll be married with kids, and a Labrador puppy.

 

And you will have let life pass you by.

 

Get with the program - you should have gone No Contact ages ago!!

[jacksonBrown]

Ok, let's see precisely what we have here....

 

 

 

(you have to understand that when a woman says no - she means NO.)

 

 

 

This is disgustingly, despicably low, and making that kind of a blackmail thereat just exposes the kind of person you are. It's completely the wrong thing you could have done. It's completely manipulative, and I find your desperation unforgivable, just exactly as she must have done....

 

 

 

(you have to understand that when a woman says no - she means NO. #2)

 

 

Nice. I can see what she saw in you.

Tad immature, don't you think?

 

 

 

Drunkedness and anger are actually no excuse. they simply serve to illustrate what poor control you have over yourself....

 

 

She didn't care.

She's over you...

 

 

Big whacking mistake #1;

 

 

Big whacking mistake #2;

 

 

Big whacking mistake #3.

 

 

 

(you have to understand that when a woman says no - she means NO. #3)

 

 

Big whacking mistake #4..... You just didn't get it, did you?

 

 

You've come across as needy, immature, selfish, disrespectful and uncontrolled. You turned from a friend into a persistent pest, and her affection rapidly turned to irritation, because you simply wouldn't take no for an answer.

 

This is your big lesson here:

Man up: and know that when she says No - she means it.

 

 

 

 

Resist that temptation, whatever you do....

 

 

 

Yeah, sure....good move...? No.

That would simply confirm what I said:

 

You've come across as needy, immature, selfish, disrespectful and uncontrolled. You turned from a friend into a persistent pest, and her affection rapidly turned to irritation, because you simply wouldn't rtake no for an answer.

 

I will tell you now, straight up, no-nonsense:

 

FORGET THIS.

 

No way will you ever be able to accomplish this. She has already moved on, you are history, and it's over, for good.

Rebuild your life and move on, because holding on to try to rekindle something years down the track is a complete, total and utter waste of your life.

By then, she'll be married with kids, and a Labrador puppy.

 

And you will have let life pass you by.

 

Get with the program - you should have gone No Contact ages ago!!

 

well that was brutally honest but true i guess dam when you put it that way i really have come across as a needy and desperate and annoying but one thing i gotta say i've been in a deep depression since she left i have a broken leg and cannot leave the house or go to work, so i've just been sitting around thinking about her alot. and when i sent her that msg about me ending my life i felt like it at the time then i drowned my self in alcohol and called her a bitch on facebook because i felt abandond and lonely, i know its immature and manipulative but i really couldn't help it,

 

i really wish i had stayed to NC from day one of the breakup but i just couldn't do it the thort of loosing her and having my injury was too much to bear, I realise now how pathetically desperate i must have come across over the past 6 weeks even after reading so much advise on how to get your ex back i just did all the exact opposite..

 

I know she is completly over me now i wont be writing anything to her again True NC can starts today, Crazy thing was i know this girl wasn't evan right for me i'm just very lonely and miss the companion ship of a girl friend,

i've deffinatly driven this ex futher away tho,

[TaraMaiden]

Sometimes, you need a cold-bucket-of-water eye-opener, more than you need "I feel for you man".

 

I know those responses are helpful, but I sometimes find, depending on the situation, that they just serve to plunge you into validating your emotions even more.

 

You have to snap out of it.

Incidentally, if you let your leg handicap you, then you will take longer to heal.

Get yourself out and about, exercise those arm muscles and start moving.

 

Carrying your own weight about is actually a great upper-body toner....

[jacksonBrown]

when i said maybe rekindle something years down the track i didn't mean i was gonna wait for that to happen i mean we would both date other ppl and move on with our lives but ya never know what can happen in the future. i've just started talking with my ex of 3 years ago we R friends and are catching up again this weekend. i didn't speak to her for 3 years and now we're catching up again, i wanted to leave it open that something like this may happen with my current ex but i know now time is the cure for this one i'l leave her be now i've come across needy enuff

[jacksonBrown]

Sometimes, you need a cold-bucket-of-water eye-opener, more than you need "I feel for you man".

 

I know those responses are helpful, but I sometimes find, depending on the situation, that they just serve to plunge you into validating your emotions even more.

 

You have to snap out of it.

Incidentally, if you let your leg handicap you, then you will take longer to heal.

Get yourself out and about, exercise those arm muscles and start moving.

 

Carrying your own weight about is actually a great upper-body toner....

 

your absolutely right you did open my eyes to how i had been acting because it was just little bits of needyness at a time over the past 6 weeks it didn't feel like i was being over needy from my end but now i see how it must have looked like from her end, i just couldn't except the fact that it was over for good so i forced the issue untill now i've pushed her to the point of pretty much hating me and having no respect for me what so ever,

I really do need to man up and let this go i dont have a choice its the the only option, Absolutly NO Contact from now on

[ShatteredDreams]

We are on the same boat my friend. My girlfriend of 2.5 years and I had been arguing a lot the past 6 months since she began college. But we would still tell each other how much we love each other. Things got worse the past few months and I started treating her like total crap and saying really mean things to her that made her cry. She then left me for good this time, and left me for my close friend of 8 years whom she had feelings for the past 6 months.

I then cried and begged, bothered her a lot, tried to kill myself 4 times.

But she doesn't give a rat's a**. When I tried overdosing the first time she cried and begged me to get to a hospital, but once I got there she cut off all contact.

I made so many mistakes and I am not getting her back ever in my life.

I've been getting lots of support from friends and family but still want to kill myself every single day. It's been 4 months and things haven't gotten better. I try to exercise and move on but wake up to a good random memory of us, and feel like we are still together but we are not.

I would do/give up anything to be with her again.

She is happy with her new boyfriend and there is not a thing I can do.

She found a better person.

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

i feel for you mate hope your coping alright?

wat does indifference mean? is that when she just doens't care about me cause thats exactly wat it feels like blocking me off facebook so i cant evan search her name, then not responding once to any of my messages about being friends she always said she wanted to stay friends but after i said that stuff on facebook its like she hates me now?

 

then saying please stop messaging me... i guess its just a realisation for me that this one really is over i cant get over her coldness towards me now she just has no interest wat so ever

indifference is not caring at all. typically if there is a lasting emotion she is showing (anger in your situation) she is still in some way attached to you. I don't mean to get your hopes up by saying this but typically it's the people that we care about that we hold emotions for, for a longer period of time.

 

EXAMPLE: someone cuts you off in traffic, first you get angry but does that anger last? no you will probably forget all about that person by the end of the day.

 

point I want to make is even though she broke up with you, she will also be feeling a whirlwind of emotions.

 

I'm coping very well but it wasn't that long ago where I will admit I was a complete wreck. when you wake in the morning try thinking about everything you are grateful for in life, then after you have thought of everything you are grateful for literally tell yourself that you love you. sounds kind of lame but let me tell you that it works.

 

 

and on a second note... listen to TaraMaiden, I've read a lot of posts she has responded to and although she may be brutally honest, she is also 100% right on everything I have seen so far.

[jacksonBrown]

indifference is not caring at all. typically if there is a lasting emotion she is showing (anger in your situation) she is still in some way attached to you. I don't mean to get your hopes up by saying this but typically it's the people that we care about that we hold emotions for, for a longer period of time.

 

EXAMPLE: someone cuts you off in traffic, first you get angry but does that anger last? no you will probably forget all about that person by the end of the day.

 

point I want to make is even though she broke up with you, she will also be feeling a whirlwind of emotions.

 

I'm coping very well but it wasn't that long ago where I will admit I was a complete wreck. when you wake in the morning try thinking about everything you are grateful for in life, then after you have thought of everything you are grateful for literally tell yourself that you love you. sounds kind of lame but let me tell you that it works.

 

 

and on a second note... listen to TaraMaiden, I've read a lot of posts she has responded to and although she may be brutally honest, she is also 100% right on everything I have seen so far.

 

yeh i'm sure she's goin threw a few emotions about the whole thing too,

after sleeping on it last night i've come to realise i dont think she hates me she has blocked me from facebook because she doesn't want to see or hear anything about me for a while she needs to heal too, she knows in her heart that its over for good and even if she still cares we cant be talking anymore at all, i just had it in my mind that she hated me but now i doubt that its just her way of coping, it hit home yesterday because it absolutly cemented in my mind that she is gone for good there is NO second chances on this one and even tho its hurting a little bit now i feel better than i did yesterday and i'm sure tomoro will be the same

 

sure i did act needy insecure pathetic and desperate threwout the breakup but at the end of the day evan if i'd done none of those things the situation would still be the same we wouldn't be together so yes i did loose my dignity abit with her but i think it was the only way for me to realise it was truely over even tho she knew from the beginning, if i'm ever in this situation again i will try the other approach tho and just move on i wont chase

 

thanks guys

[EgoJoe]

Write a note apologizing and taking responsibility but without taking all of the blame for anything that may have spurned your emotions. Do it by hand. Date it and sign it. Hang on to it for a long time. Put it in an UNADDRESSED and sealed envelope.

 

If she ever contacts be polite, gracious and send the note. If a long time goes by without contact, send it. The dated aspect will be enough of an explaination.

 

Forgive yourself for giving into emotional impulses and walk away knowing that you didn't cross into the 100% freak zone. Women act high and mighty but I guarantee you every single one goes through super crazy mode during a breakup at one point and their crazy can be just as bad if not worse. Trust me, it's normal, learn and grow bro.

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

yeh i'm sure she's goin threw a few emotions about the whole thing too,

after sleeping on it last night i've come to realise i dont think she hates me she has blocked me from facebook because she doesn't want to see or hear anything about me for a while she needs to heal too, she knows in her heart that its over for good and even if she still cares we cant be talking anymore at all, i just had it in my mind that she hated me but now i doubt that its just her way of coping, it hit home yesterday because it absolutly cemented in my mind that she is gone for good there is NO second chances on this one and even tho its hurting a little bit now i feel better than i did yesterday and i'm sure tomoro will be the same

 

sure i did act needy insecure pathetic and desperate threwout the breakup but at the end of the day evan if i'd done none of those things the situation would still be the same we wouldn't be together so yes i did loose my dignity abit with her but i think it was the only way for me to realise it was truely over even tho she knew from the beginning, if i'm ever in this situation again i will try the other approach tho and just move on i wont chase

 

thanks guys

 

 

what you did was nothing short of normal behaviour, and I am glad you are proceeding with taking the steps to heal.

 

Best of Wishes to You.

[jacksonBrown]

Write a note apologizing and taking responsibility but without taking all of the blame for anything that may have spurned your emotions. Do it by hand. Date it and sign it. Hang on to it for a long time. Put it in an UNADDRESSED and sealed envelope.

 

If she ever contacts be polite, gracious and send the note. If a long time goes by without contact, send it. The dated aspect will be enough of an explaination.

 

Forgive yourself for giving into emotional impulses and walk away knowing that you didn't cross into the 100% freak zone. Women act high and mighty but I guarantee you every single one goes through super crazy mode during a breakup at one point and their crazy can be just as bad if not worse. Trust me, it's normal, learn and grow bro.

 

yeh lol i didnt cross into the 'freak' zone stalker mode thankgod, I was a bit of a desperado tho.. i may write the letter and one day may send it but i'd have to be completly over if i did send it, but i have grown from this situation cheers bro

[jacksonBrown]

what you did was nothing short of normal behaviour, and I am glad you are proceeding with taking the steps to heal.

 

Best of Wishes to You.

 

thanks mate all the best to you aswell