jacksonBrown Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 ive been single for 7 weeks now and i really miss the companionship of a partner i think of my ex constantly i still socialise with my friends and have fun but as soon as i'm alone i get depressed and lonely i really hate being alone i think i'm a needy person i need that special girl in my life other wise i feel empty, i chased away my ex to the point she blocked me on face book and has told me not to contact her anymore, why cant i just be happy alone arhhh Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 *sigh* i understand completely. i have always been something of an introvert. while my ex is the exact opposite. we started out as friends and co-workers; he pursued me in an attempt, he said, to smoke me out of my shell. i accepted his invitations to hang out and for the first time i found myself enjoying someone else's company. i opened up to him in ways i had never opened up to anyone before. he was my first kiss, sexual experience, everything. but just as i got used to the idea of being with someone else and pulled away from the idea of being alone, he became distant saying he wasn't ready for a relationship. but i wanted that feeling of being with him back so badly i stayed friends with benefits with him for two and a half years until he broke that off saying he wanted to be friends. but the friendship soon soured when he started dating again. i couldn't handle that, so i went NC. and while it's been harder than ever for me to trust men enough to start dating again. the loneliness is unnerving. this whole experience almost makes me wish i had never met my ex at all. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Try not to get angry when these feelings of loneliness kick in, as that makes things worse. Instead try to understand that this is a natural course of action when dealing with lose. We all feel this way, have good and bad days, miss the ex so much we want to nothing else but reach out and bring them back... whether they want to or not. Accept the pain and understand that with each day things get better, maybe by only a small amount, but enough that eventually you will heal. I'm in that pain now, but I can focus on a past love many years ago that nearly destroyed me. I know eventually I got over her and moved on. Now I can look back even see her and not feel anything. The same will happen with my current ex, eventually. I just need to give it time. We all face these terrible days, but we have to have the bad to appreciate the good. Stay strong and things will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
ler1638 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I am the same way when it comes to companionship. I can never stay single for more than 2 or 3 months. Sure, it is okay at first, going out with friends and not having to worry about a relationship, but at the end of the day we all just want someone to hug and kiss and watch tv with and talk on the phone to everynight before we go to bed. Sometimes I wish that I could be like some people I know in my life who are able to be single and love it, but the truth is I am a relationship person and I always will be. It is especially harder to be single and be content with it when almost all of your friends are in relationships and you are always left a third or 5th wheel Through the many times that I have experienced relationships and lost them and had the period of loneliness, I realized that there are many things you can do to fill up your day...take walks or exercise (I personally love aerobics and have just started doing it and its a great stress reliever and an awesome way to make new friends and socialize). Reading a book or a magazine also seems to pass the time and you dont even realize that your lonely anymore. Every chance that you get to be with family and friends take it! I am usually not a person that likes to do things on my own but I realized it is okay to do things by yourself because you learn who you are as a person. Anytime you feel lonely just call up a family member or friend:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 I am the same way when it comes to companionship. I can never stay single for more than 2 or 3 months. Sure, it is okay at first, going out with friends and not having to worry about a relationship, but at the end of the day we all just want someone to hug and kiss and watch tv with and talk on the phone to everynight before we go to bed. Sometimes I wish that I could be like some people I know in my life who are able to be single and love it, but the truth is I am a relationship person and I always will be. It is especially harder to be single and be content with it when almost all of your friends are in relationships and you are always left a third or 5th wheel Through the many times that I have experienced relationships and lost them and had the period of loneliness, I realized that there are many things you can do to fill up your day...take walks or exercise (I personally love aerobics and have just started doing it and its a great stress reliever and an awesome way to make new friends and socialize). Reading a book or a magazine also seems to pass the time and you dont even realize that your lonely anymore. Every chance that you get to be with family and friends take it! I am usually not a person that likes to do things on my own but I realized it is okay to do things by yourself because you learn who you are as a person. Anytime you feel lonely just call up a family member or friend:) i'm the same i'm definatly a relationship person like you said having that person to speak to every night and watch tv with, i'm not really into one night stands, so whenever i'm single i'm constantly on the hunt for a girl lol kinda feels abit desperate but i hate being single Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) I really don't mind being on my own most of the time, having only myself for company. So I guess in that way the loneliness doesn't effect me in quite the same way. However, since my break up I have felt INCREDIBLY lonely. Its really weird. Its not so much that I am lonely because I have noone to talk to in bed or to watch TV with, its more like I am incredibly lonely because I miss my ex, I love him so much and I long for him specifically. Its also much harder for me to be alone these days because a lot of the time now, I'm not my own best friend as I once was, but my own worst enemy. Because as much as I try to throw a cloth over it and lock it away at the back of my mind, a MAJOR part of my inner core despises myself. And hates me for what I've done to myself and for pushing my ex away when I love him so much. And as hard as I try I simply cannot seem to forgive that part of myself. And so I can't enjoy myself for long alone these days because pretty soon the self resentment and self hatred comes back to haunt me and spoil my fun. Edited June 18, 2011 by RuinedLife Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 Ruined life are you still in contact with your ex at all? how long since the breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Ruined life are you still in contact with your ex at all? how long since the breakup? Over 5 months since my break up now. Complete NC for about a month, LC before that with weeks in between emails. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 just lately i've felt good knowing that it truely is over so i have no intention of trying to get her back, evan tho i still think of her and get lonly without the companionship, ive let myself feel better knowing she is gone for good, i've evan organized a date for next week, have you thort about doing the same Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 just lately i've felt good knowing that it truely is over so i have no intention of trying to get her back, evan tho i still think of her and get lonly without the companionship, ive let myself feel better knowing she is gone for good, i've evan organized a date for next week, have you thort about doing the same I keep trying. Honestly I do. But my love for my ex is so strong, and memories of him literally follow me where ever I go and what ever I do!!! Its driving me completely crazy!! Knowing he has long since moved on and the relationship is over... and yet loving him so deeply still... I really don't know how to cope with my emotions. Seems like he will be with me forever in my mind, forever hindering my ability to move on... It truly is driving me completely and utterly cookoo... especially since we never had proper closer and tried to keep in touch with emails, but this failed when I got carried away with my emotions again... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 sounds like your abit stuck i'm sorry to hear that, its so hard if you still really love that person, nothin i can say or anyone for that matter can make you feel better, just try as hard as you can to accept that its over and your not going to allow yourself to feel this way anymore, have a read of the link in my sig i just read it tonight myself it a good read about NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 Iam by no way over my breakup so i cant really give too much advise but i just know im feeling much better knowing thats its truly over and i definatly dont love her anymore i thort i did a week ago but i'm not goin to love someone who doesn't love me, dont chase em , replace em Link to post Share on other sites
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