how long do u wait after he touches inside ur top before go further?

[Lilmisus]

I'm just curious how long you've been with this dude? I tried to find it somewhere in a post by you, but I gave up after a couple minutes.

 

I'm not going to tell you what to and what not to do, but I'm just going to throw it out there, that I have had quite a few friends tell me that they regret how fast they had sex for the first time in some of their relationships. Especially the first time. One friend gave it up at 15 and after dating him for two months, and he dumped her two days later, and she never got over that regret.

 

You're 15...take a step back and re-think about what you want to do, and think about the long run if this is when and if this is the person who you want to have sex with for the first time. Sometimes lust gets the best of us, but don't let it (or him) make you do something you could possibly regret later on. Trust me, living in the moment doesn't always make you happiest.

 

If you do decide to have sex, at least be protected. Birth control. Condom. Plan B. Whatever. And really think about the risks, since birth control is never 100% guaranteed.

[angel_tenniser]

Any good? I'm just watching the first one on tv right now.

 

 

 

Now you're being silly.

 

i enjoyed the first one more because i paid more attention to it and watched it from my bed.

 

The decision to have sex for the first time is one that shouldn't be taken lightly.

 

Sex is not evil or bad. It's beautiful, it's pleasurable, and it's one of the most profound moments of intimacy that two people can have together.

 

But it is an act that has consequences. The chemicals released when you make love to someone are quite similar to the ones released during childbirth and breastfeeding -- they create a bond between you and the person who your brain associates with those chemicals. For women in particular, the intense feelings of bonding the act of making love creates is often enough to make us tempted to throw our brains out the window.

 

There are many, many steps in between chestplay and actually making love, and all of them are fun. While those activities are not likely to get you pregnant, many of them can transmit disease. Any contact at all between body fluids and broken skin or mucous membranes (mouth, nose, eyes, as well as genitals) can transmit disease.

 

Pardon my soapbox here, but I have a reason for it. My father died July 21, 2009, from AIDS. He was diagnosed when I was 12.

 

Oral sex is fun. It's not likely to get you pregnant. But it can give you diseases. If you are going to public school, hopefully you have a school nurse there. You should be able to go to them and ask where you might be able to obtain free unlubricated or flavored condoms to use if you decide to give your boyfriend oral sex. If he gives you oral sex, you can use a dental dam, or at worst case scenario, plastic wrap to keep him from being exposed to your fluids. It's not just real penis-in-vagina sex that requires a barrier.

 

Also, it doesn't matter that you are a virgin right now and unlikely to have a disease -- you should still make him use a dental dam. It's good practice to be in. It also wouldn't matter if the guy you were with was a virgin too -- you have no idea whether he was or not even if he said he was. If you get into the habit of unsafe practice, it's easier to slip up later on.

 

One other thing. Condoms are ESSENTIAL for disease prevention. They're the only protection we have from them aside from complete abstinence. But they are nowhere near the best way to prevent pregnancy. In addition to using condoms, I highly suggest you ask your school nurse about a referral to your county's Department of Health for a gynecological examination and consideration of whether or not you are a candidate for going on birth control pills. You can also ask about vaccinations against Hepatitis B and cancer-causing strains of HPV at that time.

 

When I decided I was ready to give my virginity to a guy, I was 15 -- almost 16, but still 15. My school actually had a division of the Department of Health inside it -- I was able to get a free pelvic exam, free condoms/dental dams, and free birth control pills. I did all of this on my own. I probably made a mistake by not conferring with my mother beforehand, and she indicated she regretted that I made that decision without talking to her. Your parents may be strict, but they love you and have a lot of life experience. Before you make this decision, I would recommend you at least seriously consider talking to your mother. It's nice to have someone with you when you go for the first time to have a pelvic exam.

 

But no matter what -- use protection and keep yourself safe. And have fun!

 

i feel a bit shy about doctors/exams a doctor did something rude to me i think.

 

i dont mind keeping virginity and i think ill keep it

 

 

No, but at the same time, isn't it a little bit skeevy for adults on an internet forum to be egging on a 15 year old girl to slide her hand into his lap to see if he's aroused, etc? As an adult (and a father of a teenage daughter) I'm sure as heck not going to sit here and tell her what moves to make next, especially when it sounds like she's with a boy who (claims to be) more experienced, and is effectively using that experience as leverage in a power game.

 

Angel, I'm a father of a young woman around your age, and here's what I would want her to know...

 

 

Don't let him tell you what's right for you. Nothing is "your fault"; don't let him corner you into thinking that you have to go through with something just becase you "started" it somehow. This is YOUR decision at every step of the way. You own your body and you decide what to do with it, which includes saying "stop" at any point you don't want to go further.

 

 

As another poster pointed out, it's not so much "will you like it". It is: have you decided that it's right for you now, with this boy, and do you clearly understand and are you ready to accept all the possible consequences and risks, including pregnancy, STD's, etc?

 

Boys will do whatever they can to corner you - if you show a little enjoyment or arousal, they will turn that around to make it seem like since you started something, then you got them aroused, so you have to keep going, or somehow it's "not fair" to them, or it's "your fault" for enjoying it in the first place. And then, whether he says it outright or not, there's always that old threat of calling you a "tease" if you choose to stop at some point.

 

All of this is pressure to keep you moving forward; when you get older and more confident in your sexuality, you will realize that it represents a MAN attempting to control YOUR sexuality for HIS enjoyment. And one of the ways he does it is by making things "your fault" which implies that enjoying something (like making out and petting), but not going "all the way" is somehow wrong, bad, or shameful, and that's not true. I hope that at some point (maybe soon!) you will really understand this and not accept this kind of manipulation. Lack of experience and lack of confidence are absolutely normal at your age, but unfortunately, they leave you open to - for lack of a different term - attack, by someone who is willing to them against you to prey upon you.

 

Your sexuality belongs to you. Own it. Demand that YOU control it, and don't accept threats and manipulations to push you in a direction you are not ready or willing to go. And I know that at this age and at your current developmental level, this may be hard to understand or put together, but I hope that you will eventually grow to desire men who don't try to control and manipulate your sexuality in this way, and that you will come to find these kind of games - "your fault", "tease", "you have to", etc. - the immature ploys that they are.

 

thanks that is really smart i think how you said to enjoy my favorite things i will:)

i said i wanna be a virgin to him so we keep panties on to make love but his _ _ _ _ _ goes higher than his boxers and come jumps on me.

[angel_tenniser]

Honestly, hon. Your body is going through A LOT of hormonal changes, and although it may feel right to have sex with him now, you may think differently later on after it's already happen. Doesn't it sound like a good idea to wait it out a while to think about? I mean, yeah, I'm sure heavy making out feels good, but just, because he's your boyfriend.. doesn't mean it's time for that step, now. Just do a lot of thinking, and make sure he is the boy you WANT to give it to! He may seem sweet and giving you a lot of his attention now, but what if he changes after you give it up? Just saying, it's something to consider when you are dating young boys who are going through hormonal changes, like yourself! Be safe, too!!!!!!!!!

 

i think about him all night so its like i can enjoy him with hormones even when he isnt there, so for sure good to not rush!

 

Never,ever do something you don't want to do. If a guy says baby please,please if you love me you will do this do not and I repeat do not fall for that. A guy will say anything to get into your pants and that is the truth. If you do not feel comfortable doing something tell him! Sure he might be upset but who cares?? It is your body and you do not have to do anything you might regret later.

 

yep also i should b careful not to rush him. i compress on him a lot to cuddle when really it might not be fair on him. thats my responsibility as the sitter

 

There are no real rules for your age but there are the basic things that your parents told you. You just go with flow and test what is right for you. If you already have a BF, it is the right time to make out. If you want to have sex, you might want to know that there are risk to get pregnant and to get STDs. If you get STDs, you are at risk of infertility, cancer later in life or death if you get HIV. No, very young boys do not care much if you are fast. It is not so serious for them as it is for you.

 

im not ready for a baby i just want him.

we do it with my pants on so its ok.

[GorillaTheater]

I'd like to be able to post something sage and thought-provoking, but since I have a 15 year old daughter about the only thing I can up with is expressing my sincere hope that she isn't plastering bikini shots all over some message board on the internet.

 

Jesus.

[oaks]

i enjoyed the first one more because i paid more attention to it and watched it from my bed.

 

I guess you were distracted by something this time.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

how long do you wait after being rubbed in your top before going further? and what is the step after that, do you make love next?

 

 

 

(A) Wait at least 3 grade levels

 

 

(B) Undergraduate degree

 

(B1) NO

[Art_Critic]

I'd like to be able to post something sage and thought-provoking, but since I have a 15 year old daughter about the only thing I can up with is expressing my sincere hope that she isn't plastering bikini shots all over some message board on the internet.

 

Jesus.

 

Until you mentioned it I never gave it a second thought.. I figured it was just an avatar she picked from the internet like most of us..

But now that you mention it...

 

Until you post another picture showing your boobies on your avatar.

 

Seriously, you're 15, and shouldn't be posting half naked photos of yourself on here!

 

If the avatar is her I'm in agreement with GT and you...

I'm sure her parents would flip if they knew..

[angel_tenniser]

Until you mentioned it I never gave it a second thought.. I figured it was just an avatar she picked from the internet like most of us..

But now that you mention it...

 

 

 

If the avatar is her I'm in agreement with GT and you...

I'm sure her parents would flip if they knew..

 

wee have a pool at home and all people see me in my bikini its normal

 

I guess you were distracted by something this time.

 

a lot lol

[alexlakeman]

YOU'RE 15!!! He should not be touching anything besides your hand!!!

 

What she said...

[sabienne]

angel -

 

You need to realise there's a HUGE difference between enjoying sexual encounters (like him touching your chest) and being ready to take the final step and have sexual intercourse. I know you love your boyfriend and have a great deal of respect for him, but he sounds an awful lot like he's just saying anything to get in your pants. Be careful. Proceed with caution. If you are not ready DO NOT DO IT. He is only calling you a tease because he thinks it will guilt you into doing it.

I repeat...IF YOU ARE NOT READY DO NOT DO IT!!!!!!!!

 

BUT if you do decide to do it, please be safe. Use a condom. That is a total non negotiable. And if at any time you feel unsafe, uncomfortable or pressured, you always have the right to say no. It doesn't matter what he says to you.

 

I know it's really hard at 15 to get your head around all that. This sort of thing does get easier with age. I would highly recommend waiting until at least 17, if not later - you will mature and grow a lot in the next couple of years.

 

Whatever your decision, be smart and be strong. You can do it

[alexlakeman]

Don't do it

[angel_tenniser]

angel -

 

You need to realise there's a HUGE difference between enjoying sexual encounters (like him touching your chest) and being ready to take the final step and have sexual intercourse. I know you love your boyfriend and have a great deal of respect for him, but he sounds an awful lot like he's just saying anything to get in your pants. Be careful. Proceed with caution. If you are not ready DO NOT DO IT. He is only calling you a tease because he thinks it will guilt you into doing it.

I repeat...IF YOU ARE NOT READY DO NOT DO IT!!!!!!!!

 

BUT if you do decide to do it, please be safe. Use a condom. That is a total non negotiable. And if at any time you feel unsafe, uncomfortable or pressured, you always have the right to say no. It doesn't matter what he says to you.

 

I know it's really hard at 15 to get your head around all that. This sort of thing does get easier with age. I would highly recommend waiting until at least 17, if not later - you will mature and grow a lot in the next couple of years.

 

Whatever your decision, be smart and be strong. You can do it

 

thanks ;) is it true your boobs change sizes at ages 20, 30, 40? because his kisses make me turned on i do like getting raunchy with him but for sure i won't go all the way but will do the other things preluding that such as his lower-rubs or titkisses. i for sure will not get into intercourse with him but panty riding is ok/safe it seems.

 

Don't do it

 

ok i won't but will forplay.