Unrequited Love

[amywynn217]

I just have a question about possible motive/feelings. Please bear with me as I give a little background.

 

I am a happily/content married woman of about 19 years. I recently moved back to my hometown after being gone for nearly 15 years. Since I've moved back I've had recurring thoughts of someone I considered the unrequited love of my life.

 

I met him when I was 16 and he transferred to the place I worked. To me, it was like slow motion. I looked up and saw this guy walking towards my area and it was like I was in a trance, I couldn't believe how gorgeous this guy was. We were introduced and shook hands and I seriously had a physical reaction, a chill, tingle, shutter, heart beating faster, etc. Getting to know him better I found out we shared the same birthday, a year apart. I thought it was fate we should be together. Our first "date" I asked him to go with me and some friends to a drive in a few weeks after meeting him. The friends left, we got in the back seat and made out, just kissing mainly, by my instigation.

 

Cut to my jr. prom, I ask him to go, he says yes, then backs out saying he got grounded. Same deal sr. prom. 2 years after I met him is when we really started hanging out and making out at my apt like crazy and finally it happened. We finally! had sex one night after we had went to dinner and it was as amazing as I'd hoped it would be. We had sex a total of 5 times, each time, I say a secret prayer to God or whoever in the universe to conceive his child. Not to "trap" him, just to have some part of him with me for the rest of my life. - Weird I know. Understand that I would have given this guy anything, all he'd have to do is ask.

 

Then it just seemed like he stopped being interested. Granted this was mostly a one sided relationship. I bought him gifts, took him out of town to a football game, etc. etc. I never received a gift we never exchanged any talks about the way we felt about each other.

 

He did friend me on FB and we spoke briefly just to catch up.

 

Now to my question: Why would he have hung around me so much if he didn't like me? Did he like me? I mean for 2+ years he'd hang around me, sometimes making out, sometimes he'd be distant. He wasn't much of a talker so I never really knew how he felt. Why am I still thinking about him? Is it because I never "got over him" or got "closure"? Don't get me wrong, I don't want him now, I just want to know how he really felt then but can't ask him.