omgzalaytha Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 My boyfriend died 3 weeks ago of an overdose. We went to sleep in eachothers arms and I woke up still in his arms. I realized when he wouldnt wake up and I felt nothing with my head on his chest that something was wrong. I tried CPR, I tried everything I could think of while I waited for the ambulance to come. When they came they told me they that he had been gone for a few hours. The coroner later told me they found pills in his pocket and in his system. I knew he had his issues we lived together for 4 years and he always had the issue, I sent him to rehab so many times and he was leaving again the next day before he died. I know his mom gave him those pills she was alway his enabler, and I despise her for it. I know he had his choices but you do not give someone pills who has an addiction and expect it to be okay. Everyone is ignoring m because I wasnt his wife, and his family has taken evrythig that was ours. I had to move in wiht my parents again because the bed and the apartment were too much to handle. I'm angry, I cry randomly, I have not been able to sleep without waking up from dreaming of him, I have thrown myself into my work, and I cannot stop having dreams. I do not know what to do, can anyone give me a suggestion? Link to post Share on other sites
BlindLead Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 That's terrible, I'm very very sorry... I would seek some help, talk to a therapist, Keep your friends close, find a new hobby to fill the spare minutes of the day. Talk about it, get it out ALL of it. Cry and let yourself cry for as long as you need. I don't even really know what else to say, but talking to a therapist I think would be the best bet right now. If nothing else, it's nice to talk to impartial ears. Good luck, and I hope with time you find peace. Link to post Share on other sites
bigmomma1974 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 My heart goes out to you. Everyone grieves in their own way and as hard as it may be everything your going through seems like part of the grieving process. If it gets to be to unbarable a therapist may be able to help you with this. Just rememeber you can't blame yourself for what happened. Keep your head up and keep trying your best, and if you feel yourself sliding into depression ask someone for help. It is hard to know excatly what to say to someone in your shoes because we all grieve in our own way. Link to post Share on other sites
bellaa Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I can't possibly imagine how you feel. I'm very ill myself and the doctors continously put dates on how long i have, but that doesn't stop my boyfriend. He says if i pass he will mourn but he will remember the good times we had. I'm sure your boyfriend would hate that you're so down and he probably doesn't want you to beat yourself up about it. Find a way to deal with it. One way i thought you could do is write letters to him, telling him how you feel and go visit his grave to read them aloud to him. You will feel like you're communicating and it may help you to calm down. You should also organise to speak to his family, let them know your intention was to marry him and you could potentially be able to connect with them and not be alone through the process. Link to post Share on other sites
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