now_what Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Hello all: It's been a while since I posted. I had the great misfortune (fortune) a little over 2 1/2 years ago to have my husband leave me after thirty years of marriage for an older biker women he barely knew - he snuck out of the house while I was at work and told me he had left by email. They got married two weeks after our divorce was final - he never even introduced her to our three children until after they were married. I worked through my range of emotions on LoveShack as I tried to make sense of what had happened. I think I decided that none of it made sense so I stopped beating myself up trying to figure it out. Anyway, my ex doesn't really speak to me, he will email me but that's about as far as it goes. I think he still thinks I'm mad at him, but I'm not. Our daughter graduated from high school a week or so ago and he was there with his wife - who I had never seen before. I was standing right next to her, but I can honestly say I felt very neutral seeing them together, it just didn't matter anymore. Last January (2010) I started going on facebook and met up with a man I knew from junior high and high school. We started commenting to each other on fb, then chatting with each other on fb, then talking on the phone, then dating, etc. We got engaged at Christmas and are getting married next month. I also had surgery last December and felt ultra crappy until just a few weeks ago. My fiance was there for me every step of the way. It was all I could do to drag myself to work and back and the only thing that got me through the day was knowing he was coming over and I could crash on the couch with my head on his shoulder - what a comfort. I am excited about the future and having someone to love who loves me in return. I know that I too made mistakes in my first marriage, and I still regret that my ex did not want to try to work on the marriage, but I have let go of that and forgave him. I also asked for forgiveness for anything I may have done that made him feel unloved and caused him to go looking elsewhere. My ex was not very good at expressing himself and kept his emotions bottled up inside. Add that to a midlife crisis and it just spelled disaster. I guess I just wanted to share my experience that there is hope for one and all and the opportunity to love again, even after experiencing the agonizing pain of a breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 congratulations... I will tell you that there are better people in the world that will make you more happy then your previous ex... my ex left me for a guy 15 years older then her, that lives in a trailer park and is a cook at the movie theater she works at.... you know i made a joke to her if shes going to leave me, at least upgrade and she got mad saying she doesnt see what im talking about. But i will share some success story of my own... i caught my ex at abar with the guy drinking and being touchy feely with each other.. she broke up with me lol and made me feel like ****... 3 weeks later after a 4 year friendship 2 year dating scheme, i have regained my confidence... i joined a social kickball league, met this amazing girl who is more like me then my ex was and I see this now. We are both very competitive in sports we were high fiving each other the entire 2 hours we practice, we kept eye contact and I can see us being really good friends soon... we have plans to hang out for drinks next thursday Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 carnegie Hall. Full. You on stage. Standing ovation. get the picture....? wonderful news, I am so thrilled for you. Congratulations on your forthcoming nuptuals, and I hope your health stays good, improves and fits your glowing positive mental attitude. (((((Hugs.))))) When do I come round for the bridesmaid dress fitting? Link to post Share on other sites
Author now_what Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 Wilsonx: Thanks for the congrats - and good luck with your new friend, I hope things work out for you. And you would think people would want to upgrade wouldn't you? Some things just leave you shaking your head. Link to post Share on other sites
light_vader Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 That is great thanks for sharing. Always good to hear stories of people who got though the adversity, in this case, the experience of a breakup. And best wishes for your wedding and future! Link to post Share on other sites
Damia Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Thanks for posting such a positive thread it helps when you are at the beginning of the tunnel to know that the light at the end can be very bright indeed. congratulations and best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
Author now_what Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 Thanks for the well wishes everyone and TaraMaiden I'm feeling so good, I will take a bow - never had a standing ovation before lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 There is light on the other side of a breakup or a divorce. 30 years of marriage though.... just WOW that's longer then I've been alive! God (or gods) give us second chances in life, and we would be wise to pick up on them when we see them. Link to post Share on other sites
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