ARDriver01 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Hello everyone, I've been on the GI Bill for two years now, it's Summer session and I only have one three hour class, 4 days a week due to budget cuts. I recieve over $2000 a month for my service in the USAF. I pay all the bills and yet my Fiancé keeps poking at me to "get a job". She is our resident property manager so we have a free apartment, but I pay her car payment to compliment that luxury, as well as saving money for our wedding, soooooo ??? I don't know how to deal with this one. She's rather condescending about the whole thing. Telling me I could be doing something productive etc.. Blah, blah blah... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Tell her you already have a job.... the USAF.... Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Tell her you already have a job.... the USAF.... Ditto. Better yet, tell her to get a job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ARDriver01 Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 I'm not in the AF anymore. Just a student. I think she's jealous of my leasure time, or somebody's asking about me... Link to post Share on other sites
scaredandalone1223 Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Not that I agree with her but as a female I may can offer a little perspective. Before I start though let me say first and foremost THANK YOU for your service to our country! I am not sure how your current military arrangement works. By using your GI Bill does that mean you are on reserve status now or that you finished your 2, 4, 6 etc. years and chose not to reenlist acitvely or are you still active and just on leave to finish schooling? She may be looking at it from the point that if you are currently only committed to one hour a day and are the rest of the time free that it would be nice to have some extra income. It could also be possible that she has a bit of resentment if she is working 40 hours per week and she sees you as having lots of free time. Like I said I do not necessarily agree with her just trying to offer some perspective. The service you put in, especially if you have served a tour in Afghanistan or Iraq recently, is still paying the bills then I believe you deserve any and every kind of break and time off it allows you! Military hours vs. a normal work hours are TOTALLY different and I'm sure you busted your a$$ when you were working and are still getting paid for it. Plus if you have to go back or are called up again you will not have any free time. Not knowing your full situation I'm not sure how exactly that will play out. Maybe explain those fully to her. When you say you are saving money to get married do you think maybe she sees an opportunity for you to pull in more savings? It should be your decision on how to handle that but things are expensive now and she may be looking at it from the point of what you're doing is great but you could have a side job making even more money to built a nice cushion to star your life together. My husband has always worked very hard to provide for our family. When we were first married and again now to help me be able to care for elderly parents I am a SAHM. But if I had a job making enough to support us I would have no probes with him staying home as our kids benefit greatly from having someone to pick them up from school, etc. Not all females have this mindset though. Many feel that it is the man's job to be the main breadwinner that the man should go out everyday and work hard with something to show at the end of the day. What was her home life like? What are her views as far as a man's role and a woman's role in a relationship? Does she feel you are being lazy or does she just like the idea of extra money? Would you working now to get extra money while you can afford savings for her to possibly stay home with children once the time comes? I ask these questions because communication is key to a healthy marriage. Discussing the root cause of WHY she wants you to be working right now could explain a lot and may help you be better able to explain why you feel theway you do. Everyone's situation is different and some women would be extremely appreciative of what you do offer and can provide and would love for you to take a much needed rest from your service. By the same token many man would use this as an opportunity to provide extra income to have more savings or even more play money for trips, etc. before you start a family. Again THANK YOU for your service I think it is AWESOME that you can provide and still get some needed down time. Just try to sit down and cover all the reasons you feel the way you do and why she feels the way she does keep communication open and hopefully you guys work what works best for your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 She is obviously jealous. But I also think you should get a job. I mean even with a 5 day/week job, you could be making serious money in combination with your military income. And also dont get married dude. What you are experiencing right now is a foreshadowing of what is to come when you are married. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Just work, make money and have your own place where you are free to do anything you want without anyone nagging you about how you lead your life. Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 If you are a full time student, and will once again be in school all day in the fall, I'm not sure I would bother getting a job, to be honest. School should be your priority. And yes many people do work and school full time, but why if you don't have to do so? When fall comes you will be working full time with schooling. The GI allows for you to be able to do that. And given how much you probably worked before leaving the service, you obviously know how to work very hard (of course being part of the USAF is a little more laid back then say being part of the Army I'm kidding before anyone jumps me, I've done enough time as basically a single parent thanks to the AF to know just how hard they work). You aren't using someone else's money to live, you are contributing to the household expenses, you are saving for the future, and getting an education. But really, the biggest question is, do you feel you should be working? If you don't and feel good as you are, rock on dude. And if you do get talked into working, don't work full time. You are already putting in 12 hours with school (1 three hour class four days a week = 12) then there is time for home work, which in college can add up a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 What are your longer-term plans? Seems to me that a lot may hinge on what will be happening for you over the next 1-5 years. Does your GF worry that your current schedule/apparent level of ambition is going to be a permanent state of being? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ARDriver01 Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 @Sunshinegirl: Perhaps... Link to post Share on other sites
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