Dumped by GF after 4.5 years - No warning

[ON MY OWN]

I have finally found the right one. I have had my share of heartache though for sure and can relate to many of you on this thread.

 

I also wanted to bring up do the dumpers realize there is no such thing as the perfect person? We are all human. We make mistakes and are not perfect, no human is.

 

I wanted to also bring up that I think many of these people will go on for many years extremely lonely as they are on a conquest for perfection. Not to mention when you truly love someone you put them before yourself and the ppl that break up with their bf/gf's continue to be selfish not caring who they mow over in the process.

 

On some of the posts on LS, some ppl take the view as what would you expect when someone is breaking up with you? Well I disagree with that whole "cool" concept about things. There is a respectful compassionate way of doing it. They are very selfish ppl.

 

As a woman, even if a man liked me and I thought of him more as a friend I tried to be honest but considerate. Its called respect for yourself as well as others. I also think we reap what we sow, if thats any comfort.

 

My ex-fiance married and divorced within 6 months of our breakup. He will always be in the lonely hearts club. There may be gf's (i dont care anymore, but for sake of making a valid point on this thread) but he will never have someone to make his life perfect. It kinda makes me laugh now that I would even ATTEMPT to "wear that hat". LOL. I take pity on ppl like this. They are pathetic and only consider what feels good to them at the time. They live in the moment, and many of them unfortunately just what they call love in the moment as well. They dont view it and value it as sacred as we do.

 

Someday when the pain lessens you will be with someone who deserves what you have to offer and you will be able to be in a place that you can be thankful you didnt waste it on a person who always wants more or something different and lacks the communication skills to work on it in a loving compassionate manner.

 

I have some painful lessons under my belt (14 yr to an addict, dumped almost at the alter.) and am now thankful as I really realize what a good man I have and nurture our relationship everyday as he does too which is wonderful and a relationship needs that. They say for every negative thing you say, you should say 5 or 6 positive things. I do this above and beyond. I find this works so nicely. I have shed many, many tears. I am really feeling for you. Noone should have to go through it in the manner we all have for sure.

 

My heart goes out to all of you that are on here along with the OP. May your hearts heal and you find the amazing love you deserve.

 

Thanks,

OMO

Edited June 30, 2011 by ON MY OWN

[ON MY OWN]

This sounds so similar to so many of the stories I’ve read on here. But I’ll post mine anyways.

 

We met in college and were together for over 4 years. Both aged mid twenties. I was her longest relationship, as all her previous ones had been between 5-7 months long. Never had any arguments about anything and looked at other couples and wondered how we got so lucky with each other. Spent so much time together doing all kinds of things we both enjoyed, knowing we would have to do a distance relationship when she went off to school in the future. So she goes away for graduate school to another state 2 years ago. Everything was apparently great, talked to each other every day, how much we loved each other, making plans for the future and how we would work out the distance, etc. Visited each other during breaks. In my mind she was going to be my future wife. Her family thought very highly of me and always invited me for holidays and family gatherings. Her mom even told me she considered that I was the “one”. We spent summers and holidays together making the most of our time together before school would separate us again. The distance was always a challenge, but I was always convinced, as was she, that we would finish school and we would meet up after and make up for lost time. We planned it out and were ok with it. Then 2 months ago out of nowhere I get a phone call saying it’s over and she found someone else ( a student at her graduate school). The new guy had already agreed to move with her to another state where she would finish her studies (before I knew anything was wrong at all) She told me I needed to move on and close things. Basically the decision to end us had already been made and there was nothing I could do about it. Shock doesn’t begin to describe what I’m feeling.

 

 

I wasn’t even given a chance to try and fix anything because she was moving forward with him. She didn’t even come to me and tell me anything was wrong. Over 4 years and I don’t even get a chance to listen to what she considered to be problems in the relationship? She said it was too late to do anything about it, but that she felt she couldn’t be free and she “held herself back” when she was around me. Thing is, she is a very quiet and introverted type so I wasn’t able to see that. I’m not the type of person to be oblivious to others’ feelings either. This literally came out of nowhere. She didn’t make it known to me that anything was wrong. Her mother and family were just as shocked as I was, but they have always been the type to support her in anything she does, so I got no help there.

 

 

She basically has tried to erase me from her life, over 4 years worth of memories. I haven’t heard from her since we broke up over a month ago.

 

 

How does this fall into the realm of breakups? Is it considered a “normal” breakup? Would there be any parts that sound like GIGS? What are the chances in this type of breakup that the dumper would feel like they rushed things and made a decision too quickly? Thanks everyone.

 

 

I wanted to check in. How are you doing? Wanted to send you a smile and an internet hug. Hope you are starting to feel better. I know it is a long complex road and wanted to see how things are going for you.

 

Hugs,

OMO

[Dust]

Your warning was that you were in a long distance relationship for years. They have to end eventually.

 

Not only that but she used you as a placeholder relationship in the end and cheated on you. If she had broken up with you properly she wouldn’t have a guy in the picture who was moving in with her. They had probably already had sex and been dating for a long time before you found out. Would you really want to move forward with and marry some one like that.

 

So to sum up what I said, expect LDR’s that go on in perpetuity longer then a year to probably end. (LDR’s aren’t tough for nothing) Also I suggest you not let the way things happen taint the good memories of the past few years but she really isn’t the girl to marry. Let her be a good memory and nothing more because she used you as a place holder in the end, she cheated on you.

[mtd4249]

On My Own --- I agree with everything you say! I was taken by surprise 6 months ago when my ex (who I was with for 16 years) suddenly said she was "unhappy" and needed "space".... she abandoned me in the city where I have no family and few friends, and then subsequently she lied and cheated on me, ignored me, kicked me while I was done. There was no reason for this .. my biggest crime in 16 years was being faithful and committed to her 100%. There are, as you say, compassionate ways of ending a relationship ... I didn't get to experience that ending. What I got was the selfish ending ... where she feathered her nest on (as you say) that conquest for perfection. She thinks she will find pure "happiness" ..... what she will get is the "happiness" of the honeymoon period and then she has a very good chance of getting a rude awakening and reality check.

I live by the philosophy of treating others the way I want to be treated .... that's mutual respect. I'd like to know how my ex would react if I broke off the relationship the way she did ..... as the threads on here demonstrate, there are lots of guys out there who will be willing to give her that breakup experience!!

It's good to hear you have found a new realm of happiness .... I hope we all get there again one day soon!!!

[TheHurtProcess]

Problem is, in my case she already has a new person to cuddle up next to in a warm bed. I doubt this trend applies in this situation.

 

Not necessarily. If she's in a rebound relationship that started around the end of the spring or beginning of the summer, the relationships "honeymoon period" (The first 90 days or 3 months) may just be coming to an end at approximately the same time as the summer closes. Therefore, you (as well as her rebound) may be in for a big surprise when that relationship naturally ceases to exist due to the nature of rebound relationships. Make sense?

[ConfusedGuy88]

I wanted to check in. How are you doing? Wanted to send you a smile and an internet hug. Hope you are starting to feel better. I know it is a long complex road and wanted to see how things are going for you.

 

Hugs,

OMO

 

Thanks for your comforting post. I'm doing ok, as well as could be expected under the circumstances I guess. It still doesn't feel like I'm moving on though but I know it takes time.

 

My birthday came and went and no word from her. I guess I wasn't expecting any contact but I still would have appreciated acknowledgement on this one special day per year, especially after we've spent the last 4 together. When you get birthday wishes from people you haven't seen since highschool almost a decade ago and not from someone you were in love with and planning your future around as little as 2 months ago it's hard to take. It's just incomprehensible to me how people can just turn off like that.

 

Also, I've heard through others that she is posting all these new pictures with the new guy and of her all over facebook. I haven't looked at her profile since, but it hurts quite a bit to hear that. I've since told these people not to let me know in the future. But it seems like she is doing her best to try and rub it in. It's almost as if she is angry with me.

 

What also bothers me to no end is the fear of the future. If you feel like you know someone so well after having spent so much time together and they go and do something like this, with no respect for you whatsoever, then how can you really be certain you know a person. If after that much time and so many promises and no arguments or indications that anything is wrong. The next woman I date, I feel like I'll always be thinking back to this and wondering if the same thing is going on. All the "i love yous" and "can't wait for the future together" will feel so hollow. What she did was so incredibly selfish and with no regard for me or my own future. It really hurts to think that while she has moved on, I'll still be left in doubt and in my own future, separate from hers, her past actions will still affect me.

 

If you are going to end a relationship you owe it to yourself and to your partner to at least make the issues known and see if they can be worked on. If they don't work then fine, you each go your separate ways but at least you gave it the chance it deserved. I just don't understand how my ex, of all people, would be the type to not even have the decency to do this. Just forget everything and move in with another guy. That's the solution.

 

 

It's some comfort to know that others have been going through similar circumstances and they have been able to come to terms with it and start the healing process. I hope I'll get there soon.

[Gack]

I totally agree as i just been thru the same thing. Everyone was shocked cuz they thought we were the perfect couple. She was so sticky to me and i enjoyed her company.

 

I kept the spark in our relationship by surprising her so u can't say that our relationship went stale. In fact on the the last day she left i turn up at her workplace to pass her a present and a card with mushy stuff in it.

 

She didn't come home that night and went back to her own house. Wouldn't pick up calls and reply texts. Past 2 weeks or so i caught her texting and chatting with another guy she knew many years ago. I pleaded with her to stop all this and she promise me she would. Then she kept contacting and i would break down again and she would promise me again.

 

I think that guy was the novelty, and the thought that she could do new stuff that she like doing b4 she met me. Meeting all her old friends again. Maybe she felt that i controlled her. Restricted her. But she was the one who wanted to be sticky and stay at my house. Strange how she blame it on me.

 

She is taking pictures with the new guy and posting status like enjoying dinner with my love. Saying how she like being her old self and she is happy what she is doing now and love spending time with her love. My friend and sis said it seems like she is convincing herself. Basically doing stuff that i say i will do but haven't done with her yet and kinda rubbing it in my face whether intentionally planned or not.

 

Tomorrow they will be going out again with him and their old friends. Seeing her like this, enjoying herself makes me think that she will never want to come back to boring me perhaps. I gave her 100%. She was the perfect loving gf. And i thought we could be together forever cuz she was the faithful type. What a shock i got too. I saw signs and found out she was cheating. I thought all the promises were real.

 

All the love letters she wrote saying she will be faithful and be with me till the end. She didn't even want to read it when i took it out and ask her does she remember what she promised me. She said she knew what she wrote. Right.. If she knew and still did it then honestly everything i taught her throughout our relationship went out through her ear.

 

Strange thing was. Her hair was side parting when i met her. After dating she lost her playful side and her hair became bangs. All straight. Then recently i paid a bomb for her haircut and the style became abit side parting and shorter like the past. Then shortly after that she broke up with me. I wonder if by cutting her hair shorter and side fridge did it change her back into who she was in the past. Playful and irresponsible. I know changing hairstyle could change your mood. She kept playing with her hair after that. I wonder if it made her feel better about herself and she wanted to test her sexuality on the guy. She never flirted around and maybe now she wanted to be that kind of sexy person who could attract another guy besides me who is her 1st serious relationship. Thinking about how she could be using her body to pleasure the guy the way she did it to me makes me so sad. Just so to see if she could make another guy be turned on by her? I'm not sure about this. It could or might not be true for all i know.

 

I made her jealous with a post saying i went out with a girl then shortly she like all the older posts that i said how much i love her and all then deleted me. Lame thing was she kept posting about her going with the guy and i just tolerated it and now with just two post from me and she deleted me. Later on thru my friend's profile i saw she said some emo things and later on said her mood got lifted up only a lil by music. Then later on she said the guy cheered her up. Which got me pissed of course. All that to make her jealous then she get cheered up by him.

 

Why doesn't rebound relationship works? What is it that makes it fail? Just because she has not process all her feelings towards me? What else causes it to fail? And seeing how she enjoys their activities together really makes me think there isn't hope anymore. I have not contacted her in 10 days and i have been improving myself by exercising and trying to get into a course so i do feel better. I just need to know more about this. I would be grateful if everything i asked was addressed. Thanks for any replies.

[dreamscape123]

Hey Gack, sorry to hear about your situation.. My advice would be to creat a new thread and write down your situation again, to get more tailored advice for your personal situation... In the mean time bud, I would say rebounds tend not to work as a person rushes into them in a bid to try and fill a gap from previous relationship, and in a bid to help themselves heal and feel better....

[Gack]

By having rebound relationship the gap can never be healed and they can never feel better? Why is that? Because nobody can replace the ex? So what happen when the person rushes into a rebound or cheat on you and dump u. It is still considered a rebound right.

 

What happens that make it not work? Is it something like the dumper keep getting depressed cuz she leave the dumpee and the rebound have to keep cheering the dumper up? I need more details on this please on what happen that makes it not work usually.

 

Hmm i'll think about writing my problem on a new thread. Cuz i think there are many almost similar and frankly i just want to understand some logic. About our relationship. It really no point to get any more comments on what went wrong. Rather i would like to know more about how i can improve myself and hope the knowledge i gain could help me better in my next relationship.

 

Today i woke up thinking of her and why she could abandon all our memories and all the stuff we did and just go, so much and it meant the world to me just thrown out the window with her actions. Never thought a crybaby like her could ever do it. And i thought i know her and i did, i knew her the best in the world cuz i was the closest to her. I guess by doing this shows how immature she is. Sad that she didn't listen to me when she say she does and in the end get influence by other people. And the way she still think she is right and argue back when she don't do that in the past sadden me.

[dreamscape123]

 

 

 

Today i woke up thinking of her and why she could abandon all our memories and all the stuff we did and just go, so much and it meant the world to me just thrown out the window with her actions. Never thought a crybaby like her could ever do it. And i thought i know her and i did, i knew her the best in the world cuz i was the closest to her. I guess by doing this shows how immature she is. Sad that she didn't listen to me when she say she does and in the end get influence by other people. And the way she still think she is right and argue back when she don't do that in the past sadden me.

 

 

That is something that we all wonder..... How can they just throw it all away? How can all the past experiences together suddenly mean nothing ? How can they just seem fine to just walk away ? Do they miss us? Are they thinking about us, and regretting it?

 

These are thoughts that we all have when our partners suddenly walk off out of the blue.... But the truth is, even though it is sudden to us ( the dumpee) to them ( the dumper) they may well have been thinking about it for a while, and as they instigate it, it is not a shock to them as it is to us...

 

Why do rebounds tend not to work out? Well I guess thats because they are relationships that are just rushed into .. To help them get over not having their partner around... Who knows? Perhaps its G.I.G.S , but it is painful to watch the person you love go off like that, and trust me ... I know that from experience... I was dumped, and my ex was with a new guy she met within a week.... Hurts like hell....

[Gack]

That is something that we all wonder..... How can they just throw it all away? How can all the past experiences together suddenly mean nothing ? How can they just seem fine to just walk away ? Do they miss us? Are they thinking about us, and regretting it?

 

These are thoughts that we all have when our partners suddenly walk off out of the blue.... But the truth is, even though it is sudden to us ( the dumpee) to them ( the dumper) they may well have been thinking about it for a while, and as they instigate it, it is not a shock to them as it is to us...

 

Why do rebounds tend not to work out? Well I guess thats because they are relationships that are just rushed into .. To help them get over not having their partner around... Who knows? Perhaps its G.I.G.S , but it is painful to watch the person you love go off like that, and trust me ... I know that from experience... I was dumped, and my ex was with a new guy she met within a week.... Hurts like hell....

 

Mine cheated on me and on the day I broke up with her she started a new relationship with him on the next day. Even bought a couple ring immediately to replace mine. It hurt that she dun wanna pick up my call and is probably with him discussing about their new relationship. I think she probably started thinking about leaving me after she contacted the guy. And she ask me twice what will I do if she break up with me. I suspected something and told her to stop scaring me. Think she did think about it for about 2 weeks. It so painful. So what happen if it was rushed? What process and situation makes them break up easier?

[dreamscape123]

Mine cheated on me and on the day I broke up with her she started a new relationship with him on the next day. Even bought a couple ring immediately to replace mine. It hurt that she dun wanna pick up my call and is probably with him discussing about their new relationship. I think she probably started thinking about leaving me after she contacted the guy. And she ask me twice what will I do if she break up with me. I suspected something and told her to stop scaring me. Think she did think about it for about 2 weeks. It so painful. So what happen if it was rushed? What process and situation makes them break up easier?

 

 

There is not a lot you can do... The more you try, the more you will push her to this new guy. The best thing to do is go NC with her.... Let her miss you, let her wonder what you are upto.... If she does not feel like that, then you know where you stand.. The trouble is my friend, you can force someone to want to be with you.... My advicewould be, go out with your friends, take up a hobby, and look after you... I know it hurts like hell,, trust me... lots of us on here know EXACTLY how you are feeling... but at the moment, you need to let it run its course...

[Gack]

There is not a lot you can do... The more you try, the more you will push her to this new guy. The best thing to do is go NC with her.... Let her miss you, let her wonder what you are upto.... If she does not feel like that, then you know where you stand.. The trouble is my friend, you can force someone to want to be with you.... My advicewould be, go out with your friends, take up a hobby, and look after you... I know it hurts like hell,, trust me... lots of us on here know EXACTLY how you are feeling... but at the moment, you need to let it run its course...

 

Yup that what i'm doing. Been no contact for 11 days now. These few days I keep waking up thinking of her. I hang out with friends and do stuff but the moment I stop I will think of her. I can't keep doing things non stop too. When I lie down and try to sleep it happens again. I still wish she would come back. No matter what she did with the guy I could forgive her because deep down I know she is the one for me. Just never thought she could ever want to do such things to hurt me. I should move on and not think about her coming back and all I know that. Just can't help it you know. I still love her.

[meroyce26]

;)Hi,

 

Discover how I got my ex back and never have to worry about relationship

problems ever again: http://www.payzeno.com/a/nwerebem/19

It helped save many relationship

Edited July 10, 2011 by meroyce26

[dreamscape123]

I still wish she would come back. No matter what she did with the guy I could forgive her because deep down I know she is the one for me. Just never thought she could ever want to do such things to hurt me. I should move on and not think about her coming back and all I know that. Just can't help it you know. I still love her.

 

 

You know what bud, I wish my ex would come back too, but you just cant force them to be with you if they dont want to be.... It is very hard, but it does get better with time....... I get good days and bad days too.... Its hard, but you just have to ride it out

[Gack]

You know what bud, I wish my ex would come back too, but you just cant force them to be with you if they dont want to be.... It is very hard, but it does get better with time....... I get good days and bad days too.... Its hard, but you just have to ride it out

 

Yeah. I get mostly bad days but i hope it gets better with time. I find myself doing more now than when she just left me. I feel a bit more scared for my next relationship honestly. What if she left me just like that again. It feel so fragile now when at first i had that mindset that we would never part.

 

And all the things i done with my ex. I probably won't do all of them with my current gf now if i have one. Exploring and bringing her to all the places. Damn.. I don't think anything could surpass that, all the places and stuff we did. Plus my ex was from the same school as me and we have so many mutual friends and school activities that we did that, i feel if now i had a gf i could't have gone through as much with her. And if so much can just be gone like that. How is something less gonna endure. I am sure gonna keep comparing them. After going through the relationship with my ex, it sure seems that any other relationship i have is gonna be lesser. Starting again seems like a chore.

 

Sorry to whine but haha. Maybe all this won't even be relevant when i find another girl i can fall in love with.

[TheHurtProcess]

Yeah. I get mostly bad days but i hope it gets better with time. I find myself doing more now than when she just left me. I feel a bit more scared for my next relationship honestly. What if she left me just like that again. It feel so fragile now when at first i had that mindset that we would never part.

 

And all the things i done with my ex. I probably won't do all of them with my current gf now if i have one. Exploring and bringing her to all the places. Damn.. I don't think anything could surpass that, all the places and stuff we did. Plus my ex was from the same school as me and we have so many mutual friends and school activities that we did that, i feel if now i had a gf i could't have gone through as much with her. And if so much can just be gone like that. How is something less gonna endure. I am sure gonna keep comparing them. After going through the relationship with my ex, it sure seems that any other relationship i have is gonna be lesser. Starting again seems like a chore.

 

Sorry to whine but haha. Maybe all this won't even be relevant when i find another girl i can fall in love with.

 

You're not whining. We're all a bunch of whiners if that's the case.

 

I know exactly how you feel. I never could have imagined in a million years that my ex could do what she did. It was if she loved me unconditionally one day and the next, she could care less. I still can't wrap my head around it fully, but I am progressing and moving on. I'm slowly but surely healing and I can't wait until the day comes when I can think about her and not feel a damn thing. I long for the day. I constantly ask myself, "if she can do it so easily, why can't I damn it?"

 

I'm also in the same position as you are when it comes to thinking about future relationships. This isn't the first time I've gone through a breakup and I'm sure it's not the last either. Sometimes I wonder what the point is of investing so much time into something that is going to ultimately fail in the end. Is it that very slight possibility that it might actually work out that keeps us going and giving new relationships a try. I don't know if I ever want to be sitting here, feeling like I did as of recent, ever again.

[amethyste]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t286256/

[Gack]

You're not whining. We're all a bunch of whiners if that's the case.

 

I know exactly how you feel. I never could have imagined in a million years that my ex could do what she did. It was if she loved me unconditionally one day and the next, she could care less. I still can't wrap my head around it fully, but I am progressing and moving on. I'm slowly but surely healing and I can't wait until the day comes when I can think about her and not feel a damn thing. I long for the day. I constantly ask myself, "if she can do it so easily, why can't I damn it?"

 

I'm also in the same position as you are when it comes to thinking about future relationships. This isn't the first time I've gone through a breakup and I'm sure it's not the last either. Sometimes I wonder what the point is of investing so much time into something that is going to ultimately fail in the end. Is it that very slight possibility that it might actually work out that keeps us going and giving new relationships a try. I don't know if I ever want to be sitting here, feeling like I did as of recent, ever again.

 

My gf was so good to me, she like spending all her free time with me and does anything for me willingly and suddenly i am nothing and she could leave me just like that. I don't think i can think about her and not feel a damn thing even if much time has pass as she is my 1st serious love and we were the 1st for each other. I can't imagine forgetting that. Well we can only keep trying otherwise we would be single and lonely forever. It sucks to start all over again. It make me wanna fast forward everything to the point where we become closer and more committed to each other. I hope i can find that one girl. Cuz i'm quite picky lol.

[TheHurtProcess]

My gf was so good to me, she like spending all her free time with me and does anything for me willingly and suddenly i am nothing and she could leave me just like that. I don't think i can think about her and not feel a damn thing even if much time has pass as she is my 1st serious love and we were the 1st for each other. I can't imagine forgetting that. Well we can only keep trying otherwise we would be single and lonely forever. It sucks to start all over again. It make me wanna fast forward everything to the point where we become closer and more committed to each other. I hope i can find that one girl. Cuz i'm quite picky lol.

 

You have to think about it. People who just up and leave suddenly usually have thought about it for quite some time beforehand. So, it's usually not as sudden as you think. We are just too blind to see that they've been slowly distancing themselves for months.

 

I personally don't think I could do that to anyone I loved. I'm not the type to fall in love and then one day just fall out of love. Once I realize that I am in love, regardless of what happens, I'm committed to that person... Through thick and thin. At this point however, I have no choice but to move on. You can't be committed to someone who doesn't feel the same and you definitely can't force someone to care when the don't.

[dreamscape123]

You have to think about it. People who just up and leave suddenly usually have thought about it for quite some time beforehand. So, it's usually not as sudden as you think. We are just too blind to see that they've been slowly distancing themselves for months.

 

 

 

I completely agree with this.... It comes as a shock to us, but as you pointed out, not to them as they have given it some thought... Just like you guys, my relationship seemed perfect....passionate, loving caring , it seemed perfect to me... she was such a kind , good , loyal loving person... who was head over heels for me..... and had a really good head on her shoulders... very sensible girl....then suddenly she dumped me...and with in a week met someone else..... Truth is, for some time there must have been something going on in her head... but she failed to communicate this to me... When they end it like this .. it comes as a massive shock.... classic G.I.G.S .....

[Gack]

Yeah that the scary part. The signs are vague and sometimes you shrug it off as something else. Maybe an argument you all had earlier or she is feeling down cuz of her school or work. It hard to tell. And when they are supposed to tell you everything yet they keep it from you. I really dislike it when as a couple you have secrets or keep whatever inside because they are afraid of what you might think or avoiding conflict. I'm starting to warm up to the idea of finding another girl because it seem harder and harder to accept the thought of her coming back and actually making it work. The ball is in her court now, she could come back and work hard to make it work. But she doesn't want to otherwise she would have done so or is she put off by the thought of me already with another girl. I dunno and there is no way to know. Oh well if she won't tell me what she is thinking then i won't give a damn what she thinks either. I'll start over with another girl. There is nothing i can do to help or protect her if she doesn't want me in her life.

[dreamscape123]

Yeah that the scary part. The signs are vague and sometimes you shrug it off as something else. Maybe an argument you all had earlier or she is feeling down cuz of her school or work. It hard to tell. And when they are supposed to tell you everything yet they keep it from you. I really dislike it when as a couple you have secrets or keep whatever inside because they are afraid of what you might think or avoiding conflict. I'm starting to warm up to the idea of finding another girl because it seem harder and harder to accept the thought of her coming back and actually making it work. The ball is in her court now, she could come back and work hard to make it work. But she doesn't want to otherwise she would have done so or is she put off by the thought of me already with another girl. I dunno and there is no way to know. Oh well if she won't tell me what she is thinking then i won't give a damn what she thinks either. I'll start over with another girl. There is nothing i can do to help or protect her if she doesn't want me in her life.

 

 

My advice would be single for a while, just enjoy being single and you.... Dont rush into something with another girl for the sake of it... Thats the way other people get hurt, and two wrongs dont make a right sort of thing... you could also end up making yourself feel worse.....

[TheHurtProcess]

My advice would be single for a while, just enjoy being single and you.... Dont rush into something with another girl for the sake of it... Thats the way other people get hurt, and two wrongs dont make a right sort of thing... you could also end up making yourself feel worse.....

 

I completely agree. Make sure that you are completely over your ex 100% before getting involved intimately with another person. I would hate to see an innocent bystander get hurt as a result of our selfishness.

 

I completely agree with you as well Gack. They should be open and honest with everything. yet, they hide it from you. We should have been talking our problems out and perhaps we could have reached a solution before it was too late. Oh well, I consider it her loss now... Not mine.

[Gack]

When i was with her everybody thought i was a playboy and she would get dumped soon or later. I had many girls after me and i exclude that kind of playboy vibe cuz of my personality and looks. We never become friends and after we talked awhile we were in a relationship. Mutual attraction or you could call love at 1st sight if you believe it.

 

After we broke up i met my teacher and i asked her what kind of person i am. Told her the whole story too. She say at first she pity her for being with me. She thought poor girl being with a playboy then now after hearing my story she said she didn't know i was so serious and love her so much. Now my teacher say poor boy lol. Says she is still young and immature. Yeah it her loss but i can't help but think i lost my soulmate too.

 

It hard to tell when i am fully recovered. But i know i am loyal and won't play with other people feelings. I won't go into a relationship just for the sake of it. I must truly be attracted to her first, love her personality. Then hope we can live happily ever after lol.