A Happy Ending To An Affair...I think

[Lynx23]

I'm not sure any affair can ever end happily but I just thought I'd share my story....I met my MM online last January, we were both in a local chat room something we both admitted to hardly ever doing, a strange bit of circumstances had us both online in the wee hours on that night...

 

I was in a long term relationship at the time and didn't hide any of it because I wasn't "looking" for anything. My MM said he was single and we left it at that, after chatting for about 4 hours it was obvious we both got along fairly well and shared a similar sense of humor and background.

 

Anyhow I was intrigued to meet him and only after we set up a day and time he confessed he was married and apologized and left it in my hands whether or not I still want to meet and of course I went against reason and as they say "curiosity killed the cat"...anyhow we met and it was as if we had always known one another...we both agreed we were crazy and taking huge risks but as we all know feelings have a way of clouding even the best judgment.

 

After a few months things got serious and emotions got involved...we spent a lot of time together, it's funny how as human beings we try to minimize the seriousness of the situation which is exactly what we did....until he had a scare...His W found a harmless hey how you doing e-mail from me and that was enough to send him into full paranoia.

 

We both agreed that even though she didn't make much of it we had to end it, so we parted ways maturely....when someone walks into your life when you least expect it and leaves a permanent imprint walking away is one of the toughest things you have to do no matter who that person is.

 

To make a long story short my MM and I are still in contact...aside from the affair we both enjoyed each other as people and could appreciate that in and of itself...if we had met under different circumstances he would have been someone I would have been friends with but it just so happened that we found in each other what we both needed at the same time in our lives and thats what led to the affair...a moment of weakness.

 

We have both moved on, I'm getting married and he has had a baby and we share our joys and sorrows with one another even if its only through an email....isn't that what life is all about.....learning from our mistakes and moving forward...

 

I found myself in a situation that for once I couldn't control and it was one of the most eye opening experiences I have ever gone through.....I can rest assured I will never do it again and thats my happy ending.

[reachingskywards]

That's a great story and I'm glad you've shared it with us.

 

Just moments ago I was writing my MM a 'goodbye' letter. His wife has been asking very pointed questions lately -- and even directly 'are you having an affair?'. I am assuming he will want to end it with me when we see each other next. He had been acting strangely lately anyhow.

 

I am happy to let him go. He was never mine to begin with. We shared some great moments and will always treaure the time we had together...

 

I'm hoping we can remain friends .. we work nearby so it will be hard not to see each other but .. that's life.

 

K

[Rightlymia]

Yep! You find out what is really going to happen when the wife/husband finds out or gets suspicious.

[Arabess]

I'm proud of you guys for taking the high-road. If I ever run into MY exMM again, the only road I'll be taking is 'road kill'.

[Debster]

Not having had an affair with a married man, I'm curious. Isn't it just substituting an emotional affair for a physical affair?

 

As someone getting married, I would be furious if my fiance had an affair but I would try to work through it. However, the marriage would be over if he then continued to have a friendship with the other woman.

[Sweetlips]

I have just recently become involved with a MM about a month ago. And for those of you who ask why we women do this, it is because they give us a feeling of selfworth. They know how to make us feel more attractive and needed.

 

My MM I met at work and we had been very flirtatious with one another. I am also married and I came into work one morning very upset and he was a shoulder that I cried on. When he realized I was having problems in my marriage, he decided to ask me out. ( I did not go out with him but I did call him and explain I could never do that because I was not the type to cheat, well that didn't last long)

 

Anyway, I quit my job last month and on my last day we had a moment alone and we made out like crazy. I have never been kissed like that! He also bought me a very nice bracelet as a going away gift.

 

Since then we talk on the phone mostly and send occasional emails to one another. I send more than he does because his wife is always home, where as my husband works nights.

 

He has made it very clear to me that he has no intentions of leaving his wife nor I my husband (at least at this time).

My husband hasn't been very attentive for years and when this guy came along and started flirting and started complimenting me. It made me feel something I hadn't felt in years...attractive!

 

I know that my heart will probably end up broken and I guess I am being selfish, but he makes me happy and I haven't been in a very long time.

 

He is also by the way 14 years older than me. I have young children and his are college age.

 

We meet secretly about once a week. Usually just to kiss, however, earlier this week I let it go further. I thought I was going to feel incredible guilt and yet I don't.

 

I did realize though that I cannot give myself to someone in that way with out becoming emotionally attached. I am not sure when I will end this but I think about it all the time...

 

Another, other woman

[Beach Gurl]

Lynx23 ...

 

I am slap-bang in the middle of trying to accept that he will NEVER be mine, after 2 1/2 years together.

 

We are currently having THE most honest & open conversations as I have pushed for a decision, wherein he admits to caring for his wife very much, even loving her (whereas before he always downplayed this aspect), his concerns (suddenly) as to our compatibility in the long run as we are both very stubborn (whereas his wife is complacent), etc etc blah blah.

 

As I sit here I have this hollow feeling in my stomach and a heavy heart. I need to get this into my thick skull, and once I have done that, deal with the terrible pain that I am experiencing.

 

We work in the same office, so contact is inevitable. I try to keep the conversation light, but inadvertantly revert back to asking how things are at home, being angry when it is obvious he has a full weekend planned (that obviously excludes me ... at my request, mind you!). I feel so stupid. I asked for the time-out so he could see if his marriage is salvageable, and then resent him for it.

 

It just seems so easy for him. He goes directly from wanting to leave home to planning evening's out so that they can talk, so my logical conclusion is .... well, what next, I can just imagine. It is like a knife in my heart, I feel queasy and I start to shake. This is so hard for me, I wish I could harness this anger & pain into a useful energy and use it make me stick to my resolve of NOT letting him visit, call etc.

 

Hope it gets better soon.