Bude Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Ok, so let me set it straight that I am here for constructive advice. Anyone who wants to try and make me feel worse for what I feel, please don't bother.. Simply put, I love my wife. She's a wonderful person, smart, creative, honest, and a great mother to our 2 yr old son. My problem is that even though she doesn't look much different than when we started dating, I am not at all attracted to her. I feel so horrible because of this. I have to force my way through any kind of physical contact, and I get revulsed when we kiss or have sex. I think she's pretty though, but I have no desire to have anything to do with her physically. What the eff is my problem? Link to post Share on other sites
bigmomma1974 Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Maybe seek a therapist and talk to them about this issue. Maybe something deep down is making you feel this way. YOu sound like you love ing your wife but your not attractive to her. Maybe there is something going on with that you could understand by talking to a specialist. You need to figure something out cause this is unfair to your wife. Why don't you set up a romantic dinner, and a get away to see if that helps at all. Maybe you feel left out somehow and thats why you find your wife unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
soinlovewithtwo Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Ok, so let me set it straight that I am here for constructive advice. Anyone who wants to try and make me feel worse for what I feel, please don't bother.. Simply put, I love my wife. She's a wonderful person, smart, creative, honest, and a great mother to our 2 yr old son. My problem is that even though she doesn't look much different than when we started dating, I am not at all attracted to her. I feel so horrible because of this. I have to force my way through any kind of physical contact, and I get revulsed when we kiss or have sex. I think she's pretty though, but I have no desire to have anything to do with her physically. What the eff is my problem? I would definitely see a professional regarding this issue, but a few things that come to mind: 1. its possible that she is no longer an object of your sexual desire because you see her as a mother. She nurtures your toddler. Maybe deep down, you dont feel like mothers are very sexy, and that since she is a caregiver, she has no more sex appeal. Pushing a stroller may not be sexy to you, and maybe seeing her in this role has decreased her appeal. Maybe her ROLE as a wife and mother is not attractive to you; you were attracted to the role of girlfriend/date. It could be that those things are more "exciting" to you, than being a wife or mother. 2. I think you should stop doing things that make you feel disgusted. Its not doing either of you a favor. Trust me on this. After seeking help, I would either talk to her yourself or take her to the counselor with you. Talk with her about your feelings, without accusing. Tell her that she is still beautiful and that nothing is wrong with her, you have just lost your sexual desire for her. The question is: Do you want to know why this has changed? Do you want to keep your commitment to your wife? Do you want to be attracted again? If you answer yes, then you will need to do some hard work to uncover the reasons behind this and to find a way to see her in a sexy light again. In the mean time, she should be aware that you are having a change of feelings. 3. Maybe you're in a slump of the marriage. A boring phase. A PHASE. Sometimes people fall out of love, though they love that person still. They are just not In love. Its very common in long term relationships to at some point feel as if the attraction isnt as strong as it once was. Its not abnormal. Those are my thoughts...good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
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