jusfrens Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 My girl friend had a very traumatic experience happen in her life. After that experiance no matter how much I tried to be their for her she was emotionally unavailable. We were together for 4 years and never had a major problem until then. One month after this traumatic event she said with an unfamiliar look in her eyes that she wanted to end the relationship. I was floored and I never thought this day would come. I tried to talk her out of it but it didn't work she ran faster and faster. It took her 2 weeks to move out and I was lucky enough to learn of the no contact rule. I immediately started the process, didn't talk to her for a month (it felt great. Sure I had my days, but I made it). Then I started dating. When she found out she was very angry, even though she was dating someone else as well. It's been seven months now and she has expressed to me that after her traumatic experience that she had lost sight of her feelings for me, but as she comes to her senses she realizes that she's still in love with me. She states that she's afraid to let her friend go because it seems that I've moved on so well it frightens her and I have, but what she doesn't know is that I'm no longer seeing my friend. I'm really free, but I don't want her to know this. Should I trust her or not? She says she wants to get help for her "breakdown" and work on things with me and I told her that if she took the first step and got help on her own first that if I was free I may consider. I love her and she became a fixture in my family and in my life we have a lot invested, but I could take it or leave it. I have found happiness in myself and have the ability wait or move on. In other love her madly, but I'm very neutral about the relationship. I need solid advice, quick! Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Yeah ok. Handle it carefully. But who's kidding who here. You want her back. Go slow and make sure she understands your terms. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 What I don't understand is how she could lose feelings for you, after her traumatic event. I would think that this is when she would need you the most. It sounds to me like she is emotionally unstable. It's good to know that you've moved on. Continue to move on, dude and keep doing what you are doing. Give youself a pay on the back! ~Vivid Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Are you aware of what acutally caused the breakup in your previous relationship? Is there the possibillity she will still have these same feelings the next time she has a breakdown? She also won't break up with her new boyfriend out of fear that you are still dating someone else and won't date her. This isn't fair to the new boyfriend at all, and it sounds like she has a lot of insecurities. She needs time to herself. I agree with lost_in_chgo--I think you really want to get back with her. But I don't know how good of an idea it is. Best of luck, whatever you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jusfrens Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 Really Guys, I do love her, but I'm in a peacful place. If I could have her on my terms Great! If not I really could move on, but thanks for the reality check. Link to post Share on other sites
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