she slept with a guy at my work

[Nantucket1984]

Here is a quick to my story, it is short.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t282230/

 

I found out the other day that my ex gf slept with a guy at my work 3 weeks ago. We have been broken up for 2 months.

 

She said after we broke up she's still in love with me and has confidence in us but needs to see improvements and clean time with me before we try and fix us.

 

I am really hurt and bothered by this. Why would she sleep with a guy at my work knowing there is a chance it could get back to me? Do I call her and ask if its true or let it go?

 

I'm so angry right now.

[JR2315]

It doesnt really sound like she knows what she wants after she slept with your co worker....

 

This is gonna sound harsh but just move on man. She's just stringing you along. Is it really fair for you to wait for an answer while she sleeps around? Also, if you do wait and she doesnt come back then you just wasted a lot of time for healing. But if she does come back can you honestly tell me that everything will be fine after all thats happened??

 

No contact and let her solve her issues. She really needs to be more mature. Be strong. I really do think you deserve and can do better than her

[USMCHokie]

What she does after the breakup is completely irrelevant to anything that has to do with your life. There is no "us"...it's only you now, so start living that way. She can be as in love with you as she wants, but it doesn't mean sh*t. You're broken up. Move on, friend.

[Nantucket1984]

What you both said makes sense. It was after the breakup. But its messed up to tell someone they still have confidence is us and wants to fix us after I get clean and then go and sleep with someone at our work knowing it could possibly come back to me. You dont do that when you suppodedly "love someone." Am I foolish to think that?

[light_vader]

What you both said makes sense. It was after the breakup. But its messed up to tell someone they still have confidence is us and wants to fix us after I get clean and then go and sleep with someone at our work knowing it could possibly come back to me. You dont do that when you suppodedly "love someone." Am I foolish to think that?

I had exactly the same, just that she's slept with more than one from work and perhaps a couple one night stands she met at bars or something.

 

Anyway. It's not foolish to think that.

What's foolish is not moving on as USMCHokie said.

It's hard as hell, seeing her at work. Maybe talking to the guy. Maybe laughing with the guy. Maybe going to lunch with him, getting out of work. Etc.

It all can happen as it did with you.

 

But whatcha gonna do? Show yourself you're worth that little to wait for someone who doesn't care about you anymore? That you're worth so little not to focus on YOUR life?

[Nantucket1984]

I had exactly the same, just that she's slept with more than one from work and perhaps a couple one night stands she met at bars or something.

 

Anyway. It's not foolish to think that.

What's foolish is not moving on as USMCHokie said.

It's hard as hell, seeing her at work. Maybe talking to the guy. Maybe laughing with the guy. Maybe going to lunch with him, getting out of work. Etc.

It all can happen as it did with you.

 

But whatcha gonna do? Show yourself you're worth that little to wait for someone who doesn't care about you anymore? That you're worth so little not to focus on YOUR life?

 

True, I dont want to be that guy that looks desperate and needy. I dont want to look like the guy that hasnt moved on. Ive literally done everything I can the past 2 months to show her I was sorry and she wasnt trying to work with me. If she really did love/care about me, even though I hurt her, after a couple of months I feel there should be signs of progress but maybe I am wrong. Anyways NC it is and I will not bring this up. Nothing good can come from me bringing this up right now with the current state we are both in. Thank god I didnt do it last night, I was so close to flipping out.

[light_vader]

Ive literally done everything I can the past 2 months to show her I was sorry and she wasnt trying to work with me. If she really did love/care about me, even though I hurt her, after a couple of months I feel there should be signs of progress but maybe I am wrong.

I dunno man. I may be rude around here sometimes, because I know some of you are trying to get their ex back. I know I was one.

One month of sobering and crying and begging.

Next month it was all about harassing her.

But what's the point?

Love is gone anyway, why would I try to get her back? To get back with who I THOUGHT she was? To be unhappy again? To feel like crap once again?

The link is broken why trying to repair it? If it's broken it was for a reason, a reason from both sides.

 

So the best thing to do is moving on slowly, getting back my life.

Those are my thoughts now.

[Nantucket1984]

I dunno man. I may be rude around here sometimes, because I know some of you are trying to get their ex back. I know I was one.

One month of sobering and crying and begging.

Next month it was all about harassing her.

But what's the point?

Love is gone anyway, why would I try to get her back? To get back with who I THOUGHT she was? To be unhappy again? To feel like crap once again?

The link is broken why trying to repair it? If it's broken it was for a reason, a reason from both sides.

 

So the best thing to do is moving on slowly, getting back my life.

Those are my thoughts now.

 

thanks for everyones advice. its hard as hell and it hurts like hell when you care about someone so much to let them go. but letting them go is a lot better then annoying them.