How to finally let go and move on...

[J0N]

I am at a point now where I know that my ex and I will never, ever reconcile. There is a pretty good chance that I will never see her again in my lifetime. I am beginning to accept this. I want to see how she is doing, but I know that no good will come from re-connecting with her. It has been 9 months since I have last seen or heard from her, I know that her silence is clearly a sign that she has moved on and never coming back. I moved 1,500 miles away from home for the job I have wanted all my life. Only problem, I know nobody here and I am a bit lonely.

 

I am fully aware that at this point, it is time for me to let go and move on. I just seem to be struggling with leaving her in the past. I still think about her all the time. Is anybody in my shoes having the same issues as me? Any advice?

 

My mind wants to take the next step forward, but my heart is still stuck in the past.

[neverendingdrama]

Check out Meetup dot com . If you have certain interests ( hiking , biking ect ) , it will give you a chance to be around people in your area with similiar interests. Both men and women.

 

Stay away from dating and just enjoy some things you have a passion for. You may make some new friends in your area .

[GreenPolicy]

I am in the exact same boat. I guess these things just take time. Try to stay busy, I guess?

 

I suppose acceptance is the answer, because once you do that the pain lessens. Hanging on to hope and playing the What If game is misery.

[smudge21]

Right with you. Thought I was doing good a few weeks ago up until a little bit of contact from her and then some mutual friends/work leading me to see some pictures of her (why is it ex's look so amazing when we can't have them).

 

I keep coming here, not for answers or even for help (I know my problem, I know that time is the only healer, so what help can I possibly get), but to just hear from others and recognise that I'm not alone in my suffering. In a way, it helps. I also find posting my opinions here for others helps too, in some small way.

 

I miss my ex so much and too find it hard to believe she's gone forever. The only comfort I can really offer is the knowledge that things do get better, always. I recall feeling just as strongly for an ex many years ago. Never thought I'd be over it but with time it eventually happened. I can't recall doing anything special to get over her, I just know that I no longer cared. I didn't meet someone new either so it wasn't that. The thought that I felt that way of this girl is so foreign to me.

 

Now here I am with someone new, feeling the exact same way, not wanting to accept she's gone and it's all over, unable to sleep at times, having good and bad days... etc etc, all the same **** everyone goes through. My only comfort is in knowing it will get better.

 

I wish I had some great wordly advice to help you, but I don't think there's a cure for the suffering we're in. Only time. One day you're heart will let her go. One day. Stay strong.

[USMCHokie]

Go to the gym. A lot.

 

Expand your social network of guys...that is key to not being lonely anymore...

[Sugarkane]

Hey I'm also in the same position as you. My friends keep telling me to start dating again, but I really don't want to at the moment. I just feel like I want to be single and not deal with the drama. And I know that there's never going to even be a possibilty of ever having a reconciliation either.

I feel like I could really strangle cupid for such bad luck.

[Ajax]

I know how you feel JON. Though I've made tremedous progress in the ten months since my ex left, there's still a hole in my heart that hasn't fully healed. While I know she'll never reach out to me, there is a possibility that we'll be attending the same wedding in a few months. She has a new boyfriend, and I still have this hope that they'll break up by then.

[stopthemadness]

Ajax, your funny with the I hope my ex and her new boyfriend will breakup by the wedding. But its good to see you on here. You and JON and I are some of the ones that have been on here about the same amount of time. I still have moments of missing "him" and the fact that every few months he trys to contact me. In between girl friends am guessing. Doesnt help but other then that am good. Hang in there, and wish them well (if you can)..Life goes on right?

[replicator]

Hey Jon.

 

It's tough. I don't know how long you were together, but 9 months is not a long time. Three years out and I still miss my ex, and I fear the same - that I may never see her again. In my mind, I thought I had let her go - but I still wake up sometimes with heartache.

 

Many occasions, I just want to reach out to her. To hear how she is doing. It's hard to let go of someone who was important to you, and create a future knowing they will no longer be a part of it. It makes you question, what to do with all the memories.

 

Letting go is a process - it takes time. Get out, date others, try to experience new things. Use the past relationship as a motivation to become a better person, someone who deserves even better than what you had. Find strength in that you survived this, and you can overcome any difficulty that comes your way.

[Ajax]

Ajax, your funny with the I hope my ex and her new boyfriend will breakup by the wedding.

 

He'd probably never see it coming. The thing is, I'm pretty sure I could handle seeing her. Not sure I could manage seeing them together though.

 

My gut says she won't even show though. It's her cousin's wedding. I'm in it so I can't avoid it. She on the other hand, apparently started missing family gatherings after she left me.

[gaga]

i just been contacted by my ex after 8 months of no communication at all... never contact her... because she too is trying to move on. just divert ur mind... i think.... being contacted by my ex bf is a hell.