What keeps changing?

[Lorelei_Lane]

It's been quite a while since I've been around, life has hit me hard. My husband and I had to move and I finally found a job up here *does a happy dance* so I've been quite busy. My husband is working with his father in his construction business for right now until he can find something else.

 

Just a little background: married, no kids, he had an emotional online affair two years ago, we have recovered from that.

 

For the most part, I'm happy with the marriage. I wish our lives were more stable so we could start a family (most of my friends and family have children, so the clock is ticking loudly) but we have an okay sex life, things have slowed down a bit as we've both been trying to build our lives up after the bull we've sifted through the last two years.

 

Yet I find myself fantasizing about being on my own. I'm actually very bothered by my thoughts as we've fought so hard to maintain our marriage through his affair, both of us losing jobs, losing our home and starting over again where we are now. So why is it that my mind won't shut off these thoughts and keep marching forward? I guess I can't figure out why now, after we finally have money coming in again and things are looking up, that I want to run so far away. It's absolutely insane.

 

I love my husband. Even if he pisses me off, he's still the light of my life. He makes me laugh, and when I think about having kids, I want him to be the father. Although he can be a giant pain in my behind, he would be a great father and we would make pretty babies lol He tries so hard to get back up where we were so he could "take care of" me again. He hates that right now I'm the bread winner, he feels he should be taking care of me so we can start a family.

 

I don't know. I just know I want these thoughts of being on my own and loving it to go away. They make me feel conflicted and very sad.

 

Has anyone ever felt this way?

[Mr.Harris]

It's been quite a while since I've been around, life has hit me hard. My husband and I had to move and I finally found a job up here *does a happy dance* so I've been quite busy. My husband is working with his father in his construction business for right now until he can find something else.

 

Just a little background: married, no kids, he had an emotional online affair two years ago, we have recovered from that.

 

For the most part, I'm happy with the marriage. I wish our lives were more stable so we could start a family (most of my friends and family have children, so the clock is ticking loudly) but we have an okay sex life, things have slowed down a bit as we've both been trying to build our lives up after the bull we've sifted through the last two years.

 

Yet I find myself fantasizing about being on my own. I'm actually very bothered by my thoughts as we've fought so hard to maintain our marriage through his affair, both of us losing jobs, losing our home and starting over again where we are now. So why is it that my mind won't shut off these thoughts and keep marching forward? I guess I can't figure out why now, after we finally have money coming in again and things are looking up, that I want to run so far away. It's absolutely insane.

 

I love my husband. Even if he pisses me off, he's still the light of my life. He makes me laugh, and when I think about having kids, I want him to be the father. Although he can be a giant pain in my behind, he would be a great father and we would make pretty babies lol He tries so hard to get back up where we were so he could "take care of" me again. He hates that right now I'm the bread winner, he feels he should be taking care of me so we can start a family.

 

I don't know. I just know I want these thoughts of being on my own and loving it to go away. They make me feel conflicted and very sad.

 

Has anyone ever felt this way?

 

Every betrayed spouse has had those feelings and it's normal and justified. You were hurt intentionally and here you are naturally deciding if you want to stay or not. The choice is yours.