Want to forget ex, but can't

[super10556]

Ok, so my 8 month long relationship ended 4.5 weeks ago. My ex-GF broke up with me and I was kicking and screaming and crying and begging her to reconsider throughout our "breakup talk".

 

Now, rationally, I realized it was probably for the best. Mainly because the reason I wanted a relationship was to alleviate my anxiety about never having had a girlfriend (until I met her at 21). Don't get me wrong, I really loved her, but that was the overriding reason, which I know now isn't really all that healthy.

 

Plus, I realize she probably wasn't best for me. She had a variety of issues, such as a history of depression and bipolar, and very active anxiety that made her very emotionally unpredictable. I was willing to put up with this, because I loved her, but ultimately it probably would have become an issue if we stayed together. Plus she had really bad family issues, she was always scared that her family didn't love her because they seemed (to her) to love her younger brother more. Just very irrational stuff like that.

 

 

But despite me rationally knowing that this probably for the best, I can't stop thinking about the relationship and to be honest, if she called me up today and said she wanted to get back together, I'd probably say yes.

 

I really miss her, I constantly think about all of the good times we had and can't believe they're gone. Plus, I constantly think about the future (i.e. marriage, kids) that we promised each other.

 

 

What can I do to let go? I'm trying, but I can't seem to do it. I really do want to get on with my life already, but it's so hard!

It's been 4.5 weeks and I still cry about it (and I'm a guy!) about every other day!

[OhMittens]

It takes time to heal. Surround yourself with things that you enjoy and try to find new hobbies as well.

 

Don't try to force yourself to let go, just keep busy and let it happen naturally. Time heals all wounds. Try to find things to look forward to in the future for yourself and begin to live life again.

[stace79]

I totally understand and feel your pain. Are you completely NC right now? For me, unfortunately the only way I can really get over somebody is to go total NC with no expectation of them calling or otherwise contacting me.

 

My counselor said it's truly an addiction - medical experts have literally seen the same sections of brain light up for people in "romantic addictions" as in drug addictions. It's literally a "fix" when you get to see or talk to that person you have a love connection with.

 

So the best thing to do is eliminate that and eventually it will go away. It is really, really hard though.

 

I'm still in touch with my on/off boyfriend. Right now we are "off" in that we are not together, but we talk and do date-type things. He calls me pet names and we've gotten physical, but he "isn't ready to commit". He swears that he is not doing anything romantic, date-like or physical with anyone else as long as I am in the picture, but as you could understand it's unnerving for me.

 

I literally feel like I'm going crazy. I'm right on the edge - either something will have to change with us, or I'm going to have to cut him off completely and totally. I'm going out and meeting other guys, but obviously since I have feelings of love toward him it doesn't really solve my problems.

 

Good luck. Keep posting. Find someone you trust to talk with about it. Meet new people. Try to find hobbies to distract yourself. You will get through it. Just gotta be strong.

[Fufu]

You can't forget a person just like this, therefore firstly do what whatever you can to bring yourself back.

 

Meaning, do things that help you to get on with your daily life. Example, meet up with your family and friends more often.

 

Grab a new book, exercise, gym... whatever activities you like.

 

And, it's only 4.5 weeks, don't be too hard on yourself.

 

Right now, focus on yourself. Believe me, it gets better when you believe you can do it.

[ler1638]

I really miss her, I constantly think about all of the good times we had and can't believe they're gone. Plus, I constantly think about the future (i.e. marriage, kids) that we promised each other.

 

 

What can I do to let go? I'm trying, but I can't seem to do it. I really do want to get on with my life already, but it's so hard!

It's been 4.5 weeks and I still cry about it (and I'm a guy!) about every other day!

 

I feel the exact same way My ex always randomly comes in and out my life and just recently I poured my heart out to him (crying) on the phone explaining to him how I do everything inder the sun to move on from him but My heart is so stuck on him that I cant move on and him contacting me only makes it harder. He agreed that he would stop contacting me to let me move on but then two days later I woke up to a text from him but I NEVER replied back. This is truly my first time I have never given into him and its been tough but I am proud of myself. But of course being at the same school as him and living at the same apartment complex as him has been so hard because the memories are everywhere I think about him every single day and all the good times we had and I miss it so much and I always wonder if those things pop up in his head as well and if he misses me but I am driving myself insane by always wondering if he is thinking about me too. I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain and that you are not alone and that we will get through this just stay busy and stay strong and when a memory pops up or you begin to miss her do something to distract yourself like calling up a friend or reading a book

[RuinedLife]

"Originally Posted by 311 - Don't Dwell

Everything is a choice, go ahead raise your voice

Might as well forgive yourself, that means more than someone else

Set you free, break the shell, to your demons farewell. I tell ya don’t dwell"

 

Wow!! I LOVE your signature quote OhMittens!!

 

That is so true!!

 

I REALLY and I mean REALLY need to start living by this quote's motto!!

 

Dwelling has become a way of life for me since my break up, and I'm so sick of it. I really want to remove that D from my well, toss it into the incinerator and get rid of it once and for all, so it'll no longer taint my water with its dreaded D-ness, and I can return to my old happy self and just simply be well again!