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Involved with married man/said enough!


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shoefanatic

[font=arial][/font][color=darkblue][/color]I was involved for a married man for 5 years. I too was married, my husband and I broke up once before because of his infidelities and then resumed 3 years later to give the marriage a chance. I wasn't sure if it was love with this married man until i reconciled with my husband when i told him i was cutting him lose because i needed to give my marriage another shot and i knew we weren't going anywhere. Everything was great. And yes i did fall in love with him and so he says he with me. We are in the same social circle of friends and our children play little league together. We all went away on vacation and when he say i wasn't attentive of him he back off and gave me the space i needed with my husband and my child. A year passed and he occassionally called me to aske me out. I declined. I only knew then in that year that i really did love Mr. X. More than i thought. We began having dinner and the feelings progressed more than before. My husband was caught cheating yet again and i threw him out and since filed for divorce. In the meantime i began seeing MR. X again. I think we fell even more so. He keeps telling me that he loves me and wants to be with me in the future and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...so i told him that if he loved me that much he would do the right thing. To date he has not (and we all know he won't) so i started dating and it's angering him so much. I will not waste my life with someone that is NEVER leaving his wife like they say "it's cheaper to keep her". I also told him that if he ever leaves her let it be because the relationship is not there anymore, not because he has hopes of being with me because that will never happen. I told him that it's too bad that his happiness lies within himself. I cut him off indefinately and decided to myself first of all i was on the scorned side and realized that i don't want anyone feeling what i went through with my husband. And I worry about the kids involved and the fact that they are friends. I made a huge mistake by letting myself get involved with him and just don't take his calls and blocked him from my email. We do see eachother at functions and stuff but i always make it my business to show up with a date. He then gives me dirty looks and then calls me and tells me abrasive comments. I remind him that i'm not his wife and it's too bad.

 

Men don't leave their wives they say they are to keep you there hoping. I threw in the towel and knew when to say when. NO more for me...from now on it's all about me i dont' want to be hurt and i dont' want to inflict it on anyone else. I'm just mad that i let it go for so long. I woke up (doesn't justify what i've done but i am really sorry)

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zarathustra

Yes, 5 years is a long time, but the lesson is learned. That's good.

 

I'm concerned that the MM still calls and makes abrasive comments to you. Is he stalking you?

 

You may want to threaten to inform on him to his wife unless he stops bothering you.

 

The guy sounds like a selfish jerk with an exaggerated sense of entitlement.

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You carried on an affair for five years - but when your husband had an affair, you kicked him out. I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

Why was it ok for you to have an affair and it wasn't for him?

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