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Is My Sex Buddy Really Concerned About Hurting Me During Sex?


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The first time I had sex with sex buddy, I hadn't had sex in a while and he is large, so I expressed that it was hurting -- he slowed down a bit, but only after I had to really convince him it was painful. The second time we had sex (a few weeks later) he kept asking me if I was okay and I told him it hurt a little, so he apologized and slowed down, even offered to stop. Is he really concerned about me, or was that just to satisfy his ego -- that he's too big?

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east coast edward

Of course he's concerned. You said in your other post that he'd kissed you during sex, and you'd wondered why.

 

To be honest, it looks like that he likes you and may possibly be at a stage where he could fall in love.

 

Why not enjoy what sound to be the makings of of a loving and caring relationship? I't try and take it further to see where its going. I doubt that he is too big for you, its just a question of relaxing and finding the positions that you are both most comfortable in. Relaxation is the best precursor to sex, so just relax.

Edited by east coast edward
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The first time I had sex with sex buddy, I hadn't had sex in a while and he is large, so I expressed that it was hurting -- he slowed down a bit, but only after I had to really convince him it was painful. The second time we had sex (a few weeks later) he kept asking me if I was okay and I told him it hurt a little, so he apologized and slowed down, even offered to stop. Is he really concerned about me, or was that just to satisfy his ego -- that he's too big?

 

If it was an ego thing you would have f*cked you till you squeal like a piglet....I think he is concerned

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east coast edward
If it was an ego thing you would have f*cked you till you squeal like a piglet....I think he is concerned

 

That's right.

 

It sound's like that he's a nice guy. Not to many around, so savour it.

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I am trying to savor it, I guess it just kind of has taken me by suprise...especially since we're just supposed to be sex buddies. It's refreshing though.

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east coast edward
I am trying to savor it, I guess it just kind of has taken me by suprise...especially since we're just supposed to be sex buddies. It's refreshing though.

 

Surprises are nice though.

 

If you read through some of the threads on here, a lot of correspondents talk about FWBs and having uncommitted sex. Most of the stress seems to happen when one party or another wants more than the other. When something begins to happen unexpectedly, naturally and mutually, its a special gift.

 

My only advice would be to make sure that you see each other more often.

 

/regards

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The first time I had sex with sex buddy, I hadn't had sex in a while and he is large, so I expressed that it was hurting -- he slowed down a bit, but only after I had to really convince him it was painful. The second time we had sex (a few weeks later) he kept asking me if I was okay and I told him it hurt a little, so he apologized and slowed down, even offered to stop. Is he really concerned about me, or was that just to satisfy his ego -- that he's too big?

You mentioned in your "kissing" thread that you tend to overanalyze things. Boy, it sounds like it.

 

So OK, the first time he had to be convinced, but once he was clear on it he slowed down.

 

The second time, he actually (1) remembered that it hurt the first time, (2) showed concern to be sure you were OK, and even (3) offered to stop.

 

...and you are looking for ways to spin this as not being genuine? Relax, you are overanalyzing. If he actually says or does something that's not consistent with being concerned, then you can think it through, but there's nothing there.

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I am trying to savor it, I guess it just kind of has taken me by suprise...especially since we're just supposed to be sex buddies. It's refreshing though.

 

.......soooo

 

I guess I'm going to have to be that guy...

 

Does size really matter? :p

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.......soooo

 

I guess I'm going to have to be that guy...

 

Does size really matter? :p

 

 

There's a radio commercial in my town that says thickness, moreso than length, is what women are concerned with...I tend to agree :)

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.......soooo

 

I guess I'm going to have to be that guy...

 

Does size really matter? :p

Someone had to do it - the rest of us appreciate you falling on your sword like that.

 

( Oops, unintended phallic metaphor .... but I'm OK with it. )

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east coast edward
There's a radio commercial in my town that says thickness, moreso than length, is what women are concerned with...I tend to agree :)

 

I've only heard of length begin a problem where the woman is fitted with a UID or coil. Often there's some apprehension over the prospect of contact, but this is often overplayed.

 

Surely thickness only becomes an issue if the couple try to have sex before the woman is fully ready. The answer to that is clearly to engage in prolonged foreplay, after all the vagina is expansive so with the appropriate mood thickness ought not to be painful. Your partner is considerate, and obviously wants to please you, so encourage him to go down on you until you are fully ready.

 

Some men get squeamish about this, but in-fact boy on girl oral sex can be the most intimate and loving experience that a man can have, especially if he is persistent enough to bring the woman to a climax. It needn't detract from the eventual love making, as the man becomes not only fully aroused by tenderly intimate. The woman will inevitably experience both types of orgasm during the proceedings, and will be relaxed and able to accommodate a wider penis.

 

I'm beginning to sound like the Daily Mail, god no....

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I've only heard of length begin a problem where the woman is fitted with a UID or coil. Often there's some apprehension over the prospect of contact, but this is often overplayed.

 

Surely thickness only becomes an issue if the couple try to have sex before the woman is fully ready. The answer to that is clearly to engage in prolonged foreplay, after all the vagina is expansive so with the appropriate mood thickness ought not to be painful. Your partner is considerate, and obviously wants to please you, so encourage him to go down on you until you are fully ready.

 

Some men get squeamish about this, but in-fact boy on girl oral sex can be the most intimate and loving experience that a man can have, especially if he is persistent enough to bring the woman to a climax. It needn't detract from the eventual love making, as the man becomes not only fully aroused by tenderly intimate. The woman will inevitably experience both types of orgasm during the proceedings, and will be relaxed and able to accommodate a wider penis.

 

He has thickness and length. I enjoy the full feeling of the thickness. Length can be an issue because I have a prolapsed uterus, and the cervix is close to the opening of the vagina (moreso when I'm standing up than when I'm horizontal). He actually wanted to do oral on me the first time, and I stopped him -- partially because of the condition (the way it can look and not feeling as fresh as I could have been), but believe me I've had guys go down on me and I thoroughly enjoy it! I wish I hadn't discouraged the oral on me the first time because he didn't try the 2nd time, but I WILL get him to do that -- it's only fair, as I probably spent much more time than the average woman performing oral on him.

 

I think the real issue the first time was not knowing him well enough to be fully relaxed. It seems to be getting better though.

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east coast edward

I wouldn't put him off.

 

I had a partner with a prolapsed uterus, it made her periods difficult and sometimes painful. Helping her through this was a bonding experience. Some couples keep away from each other during her period, but in this case we sometimes made love in the shower (gently) when she was experiencing the most discomfort. If did give her some relief, but was bloody but I have to say intimate.

 

I've noticed that women are sometimes apprehensive about oral sex if they haven't immediately washed. All I can say is that from a male standpoint that the whole point about kissing and tasting a woman's vagina, is to well, taste her vagina. I can be an awesome experience, but the raw taste of a natural woman is is a great privilege. Women's genitals tend to lubricate and cleanse themselves, so the taste isn't urea but a beautiful sensation of womanhood tempered by the aroma of her perfume. So if the passion takes the moment, don't go to the bathroom.

Edited by east coast edward
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Wow, the lovemaking during her period sounds beautiful. I know a lot of guys don't like to do that. In fact, with him, after our 1st time he called me to see if I wanted to see him again, and I was on my period. I warned him, and he was like, well, I didn't mean we had to see each other tonight. So, I told him I was just letting him know in case he was thinking about getting together during the next few days. So, we put things off until the period was over.

 

Thanks for a man's perspective on the oral sex thing. I think whenever I text him next I will mention something to the effect that I can't wait to taste him again and would like for him to taste me, too. Don't want to push a good thing away!

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east coast edward
Wow, the lovemaking during her period sounds beautiful. I know a lot of guys don't like to do that.

 

Thanks for a man's perspective on the oral sex thing. ........ Don't want to push a good thing away!

 

No, its defiantly not part of a normal love life. It came about because of her condition, and sort of worked for her. You have to be really careful though, because she's really tender uncomfortable and possibly in pain. What this did was to restore the uterus to its correct configuration, and allow some of the fluid to drain. This isn't like passionate sex, and not at all relaxing.

 

Her problem had been a botched "C" section augmented by some later cosmetic surgery that she'd (against advice) undertaken to lessen the wound.

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Wow, the lovemaking during her period sounds beautiful. I know a lot of guys don't like to do that. !

 

Some do, some dont....But the same thing applies to women....some think its "gross" (oddly enough...as its their blood) and some women rather like it.

 

Its an uncomfortable topic to break because you never know what the other person is thinking. As a result, you dont want to bring it up only to have the other say "eeewwww" and start looking at you...."differently"; and again dont take that personally as an attack on women because it may very well be the woman protesting in such a manner (I've actually witnessed many women make comments like that).

 

I personally dont mind it at all but I never bring it up for the above mentioned reason. I leave it up to the women to bring up....but since they likely dont want to risk bringing it for the same reasons.....it hardly ever happens.

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