callingyouuu Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Women, just like anyone else, want someone who will make them happy. Sometimes we may think it's a pilot or a lawyer or a doctor or whatever, but I've known plenty of people married to men with such occupations who are miserable. Happiness > Status any day of the week, twice on Sundays. And I assume you've done a poll confirming that "every women wants a high status male"? I think the idea is more that lots of women like status because they think that being attached to someone who has "high value" will make them happy. Doesn't always work out that way, so I think their opinions can change as they get older, but I don't think the idea that women like status is a generally incorrect generalization.
utterer of lies Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Happiness > Status any day of the week, twice on Sundays. But it's not that easy. Money/status doesn't make you happy, true. But no money/low status is even worse
musemaj11 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) I don't mind about a man's career as long as he is not "in love" with his career and puts it first, above family, leisure time. I have known some Investment bankers who were satisfied seeing their children once a week on Sunday (Crazy or what?) I actually once read a study about how married women are happier when their husbands spend more time at work making money for her and her kids than at home. Basically once they have kids to keep em company at home, women only see their husbands as a work horse. Edited June 21, 2011 by musemaj11
Confusedalways Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Once upon a time I thought career mattered in a big way, and then I met my boyfriend who does not have a big flashy career, or a "sexy" career, but he works very hard and goes to school on top of it. I truly always thought i'd only be compatible with those who match my education level (MS) but I found out that I was wrong.
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Women who say they just want a nice sweet man are usually women who don't get to choose in the first place. Let's face it, every woman wants a high status man. Its just that not all of them can get one. You are not gonna hear a woman overlooking a pilot because she 'loves' the ups driver more. It just doesn't happen. Wanna bet?? When I first started dating my ex, I had also gone on a couple of dates with a doctor (radiation oncologist, to be specific). He was really into me and wanted to pursue a relationship with me, but when it came time to be exclusive with one of them, I chose my ex (the chef who, I guarantee you, made substantially less money). He was funnier, sweeter, and we clicked better. I always find it interesting how so many posters on this forum claim to know what every woman (or man, depending on the poster) would do in one of their proposed situations. In fact, it's rather comical.
oaks Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I called in an order for take out and they wanted to know what kind of car we'd be driving. I don't pay alot of attention to cars and we were taking my BF's. So I looked at him and asked what kind of car it was. The look on his face was classic. BMW. :laugh: :lmao: That's one to tell the grandchildren.
The Connoisseur Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 If I want one with a fine pedigree then I'll get a dog.
tigressA Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 As long as the guy can support himself and is home every night, it's good.
denise_xo Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 So ladies, when you're dating a guy do you find it sexy when a guy has a specific career? I can think of a few types... like firefighter, doctor, pilot, lawyer, construction worker, hamburger flipper. Does this mean anything to you and what are the top ones? Obviously a doctor makes a lot of money but that's not what I'm getting at. Take money out of the equation. Does career matter and why? Here's what matters to me: I care about having a partner who can challenge me intellectually, and who I can discuss politics or current affairs or my research with. I don't care if that interest comes from his education/ profession or something else, but sometimes (but definitely not always) there is a correspondence between the two. To use a tired stereotype, I live to work more than I work to live, and I would probably want the same in a partner. That's not a value judgment, but an issue of personal compatibility. I'd like him to have some passion for what he does, whatever that may be. The last thing I care about is mobility. I've moved countries several times, and I'd like to have a partner whose job implies some transferrable skills, so that it would be possible for us to move to another country and for both of us to find work.
thatone Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I don't mind about a man's career as long as he is not "in love" with his career and puts it first, above family, leisure time. I have known some Investment bankers who were satisfied seeing their children once a week on Sunday (Crazy or what?) that's part of that game, though. the idea is to work real hard for 10 years then quit once you've made your fortune. until then yeah it's gonna be 4am til 9 or 10pm every day. it's not for me, but i can appreciate why people do it.
KR10N Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Oh yes! I think careers such as an auto mechanics, construction, or something involving high authority is very masculine! I'm not saying these careers are a must, just attractive. I don't know why but I love the smell of grease on a man after he's tinkered w/ a car. Does that make me odd?
carhill Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) My data point is that my exW reminded me, sometimes with disdain, that's she'd prefer I utilize my skill set and education and get a 'real job' as an engineer rather than running a machine shop. So, to her, that issue mattered. It did to me as well, hence bye bye exW. Still have the machine shop. Happy. As long as the guy can support himself and is home every night, it's good. Yep, did that, was home every night (work is on the same property) and most of the time cooked dinner. Hah, still do that too, except just for me and the cat. Edited June 21, 2011 by carhill
carhill Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Cat pics, please. Picture Video He guards the door to the shop while I'm working and lets me know when it's dinner time and drags in the occasional rabbit for me to cook.
Dorie Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I prefer an educated man with solid employment. I'm currently dating a man in the sciences and am quite happy.
in_absentia Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Yes and no, really. It's sexy when a guy has a good work ethic, drive, ambition and a desire to provide for us as a couple. But it doesn't mean I'd write someone off. My bf has been unemployed for five months but applies for jobs every day, knows what he wants to do and is in the process of doing everything he can to make it happen (very hard to find a job in the UK right now, especially in our area). Those qualities are still in him even though he isn't earning any money and I'm supporting us both. I dated a guy that earned $100 a year (professor) and sure, being able to eat out without checking how overdrawn my bank balance was was nice, but there's not a chance in hell I'd place that guy's salary over my boyfriend's incredible set of attributes that make him amazing to me.
Richard Friedman Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Stupidest question ever asked on these forums methinks.
Richard Friedman Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Of course a great job raises your status in the eyes of women. Intelligence, ambition and drive are extremely important to them, especially those over 25 and out of the "party phase". If you are in a high status profession you'll never be short of options. I know a ton of doctors,lawyers,ibankers(guess it's a jewish thing) and they all have no problems meeting ladies. Of course the ones with less looks/charisma don't get absolute stunners, but let me tell you, if some of these guys worked an ordinary 50-60k job they'd be forced into celibacy. The ones who'd be a decent catch without their job are just rolling. Funny story: I was talking to a guy doing his residency in Boston. At the moment he makes a janitor-level wage, but he's in a position to be making a few hundred thou as a radiologist. Apparently his elderly women patients sometimes show him pictures of their daughter, and try to pass him their phone numbers. A bit creepy yes, but it goes to show how much even potential is valued in our society.
KR10N Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I dated a guy that earned $100 a year (professor) and sure, being able to eat out without checking how overdrawn my bank balance was was nice, but there's not a chance in hell I'd place that guy's salary over my boyfriend's incredible set of attributes that make him amazing to me.He made $100 a year?! Do you mean $100k?
Richard Friedman Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Women who say they just want a nice sweet man are usually women who don't get to choose in the first place. Let's face it, every woman wants a high status man. Its just that not all of them can get one. You are not gonna hear a woman overlooking a pilot because she 'loves' the ups driver more. It just doesn't happen. This generally true for long term relationships. No doubt women will sleep with the ups driver or construction workers if he is hot. When it comes time to settle down though it'll take a lot for a women to pick the ups driver, or even a guy with a regular desk job over a guy making 300k. It's not unheard of though. If the regular guy is very goodlooking/charismatic that is its own status, and there's a significant minority in law/medicine/high-powered finance who're the shy bookworm type. If you're comparing a regular guy with a ho-hum job to a regular guy who's a surgeon though, then the regular guy is toast.
in_absentia Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 He made $100 a year?! Do you mean $100k? Oh! haha, yes. I know they say there's no money in academia, but there is when you work your way towards the top!
Queen Zenobia Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I am in a top profession that earns good money. Make no mistake about it----------women are attracted to successful men even if they are not gold diggers. An ugly man can look very handsome if he is a surgeon. Women are naturally attracted to intelligence and ability to provide well. I've known quite a few rather wealthy men in "status" professions (lawyers, doctors) who despite their wealth had clearly let their brains atrophy from lack of use. In my opinion that's unattractive, even if they make six figure salaries.
Cee Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I had a great relationship with a guy who drove a flower delivery van making $8 an hour. He didn't have much money, but I got flowers every night. He was fiscally sharp and lived well within his means. Some people making 10 times he makes can't manage that.
SmileFace Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Picture Video Cute car...hehe inside(my head) joke
OliveOyl Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 A guy having a high-status career doesn't matter to me, in fact if the guy's job is too involved (high-powered doctor, etc.) I'd be concerned he wouldn't have enough time for a real relationship. The kind of personality that would go along with having a very high-powered job probably wouldn't appeal to me. Having a source of stable income, managing his money well, and that he feels pride in his work are the most important things to me.
eleanorhurting Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Im studying to be a dr (going to be a 3rd year medical student) and I'm tired of dating doctors or future doctors but its so hard I feel like my life is ruled by school. I wish a nice non-doctor person would just hit my car or something in the street.
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