Please give me your opinion.........(in a relationship...his bro keeps......)

[miz_barby]

okay this is going to sound bad but.....

I am with the same guy I have been with a year or so...care about him a lot and all that. He is really jealous and recently his brother started calling me (almost on an everyday basis when my guy's at work)

 

Usually it is related to my guy but lately the conversations seem to last an hour or so at a time. I can't tell my guy that his brother is calling me because he will blow up no matter how innocent this is he will be really pissed!

 

I am feeling really guilty about talking to him and just today he asked me if he could come over to get help with interpeting some paper that he didn't quite understand (I am bi-lingual speak spanish & english) neither my guy nor his bro speak english very well but anyway I made an excuse for him NOT to come over because to be honest I felt a little uncomfortable about being alone with him (come to find out it was to order cd 's but the paper was in spanish)

 

Now I am starting to wonder if there is something more to his phone calls he says little things that make me wonder like (if I had a woman like you I would be the happiest guy in the world, and complimenting me a lot about how "great" I am) and when I told him I was busy today he asked (for a completely different reason) if he could come over tomorrow so I could help him with something else....anyway all this is probably completely innocent I am not sure if it's my guy's jealousy that is making me paranoid or if it could be actually something else.....

 

I know this all sounds dumb but I just want the opinion of some other people!

[yes]

tell him to come over at a certain time when you know your bf will be at home. that'll send a clear message. and don't talk to him for hours - can't you just finish the conversation after 5 mins?

 

my 2c,

-yes

[HokeyReligions]

sounds like his brother may have a crush on you. If he needs help with something, why not tell your bf and ask him to bring his brother over with him. That way you can help the brother and your guy will see that you have no interest in him and are not hiding anything from him. Also, try to shorten the phone conversations with the brother. You can tell him that you can't talk now and hang up - you don't have to stay on the line so long. I hope your bf can understand a crush and not be angry at his brother -- he should feel flattered.

 

When my husband and I were dating one of his friends developed a huge crush on me. I was so flattered and so was my husband. We thought it was cute. His friend restored classic cars and I was the only one he would let drive them. My husband and I trusted each other and knew that even though I was polite and enjoyed his friends company, I made it clear that I was only interested in my husband (then boyfriend). I was never alone with his friend and you shouldn't let yourself get into a situation where you are alone with the brother.

[FolderWife]

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is using his brother to TEST you. Your boyfriend is testing you to see if you can be trusted. DO NOT LET HIS BROTHER COME OVER unless your boyfriend is there....I'd keep an eye on my boyfriend too if I were you...

[supermom]

OMG the same thing happened w/ my first marriage and my ex brother in law. he even went as far as using the word love and trying to get me to belive my h was cheating.

 

Well I almost ended up cheating w/ my bro in law but didn't . my marriage ended w/ his bro and he said we DID have an affair which was a LIE and thank god my ex believes me.

 

stand your guard - hes not being very faithful to his brother. In the end he will lie about you to make him look good. Don't fall for his tricks!!!

 

You can PM me if you want more details

[istilllovehim]

Wow, I am finally giving you advise... you have been so good to me so heres my honest opinion. Girl, you better watch your P's and Q's right now. Sounds like the brother is trying to drive a wedge between you two. It may be because he doesn't like you and wants to make you look bad so the brother will leave you. Or he does like you and he isn't respecting his own brother and is trying to cross the line. Whatever his motives, I don't think they're good. My grandmother gave me good advise when I first got married. DO NOT let your man's male friends or family into to the house when your man is not home. This way there is no room for accusations! If he really needs your help, he can get it when your man is at home. I would also tell your man but in a very subtle way. I would honestly quit talking to him on the phone for such long periods. If he does like you, you are leading him on, even unintentionally. Just think before each step and you should be fine.

[bluechocolate]

anyway all this is probably completely innocent

 

I don't think so. In my opinion your boyfriends brother is behaving inappropriately. But I think there's more you need to be concerned about.

 

You say:

 

He is really jealous ( your boyfriend )

 

and then later

 

I can't tell my guy that his brother is calling me because he will blow up no matter how innocent this is he will be really pissed!

 

Huh? I'm sorry - but that is too weird. You can't tell your boyfriend that HIS brother is calling you? Do you think that you can have a meaningful long term relationship with someone when you're afraid to tell them stuff like this?

[miz_barby]

~UPDATE~

I sat down with my guy last night and told him...let him know what was said and he said he knew already that his brother has a huge crush on me...I helped him out once before when he needed translation in the hospital (but my guy was with us) and every since then he said that his brother has thought the world of me...he said he didn't know that he was going as far as calling me and trying to come and see me but now that he knows he will make it clear to his brother that he is crossing the line.....

 

yes my guy is jealous but thankfully he understood! Thanks for the advice!

[bluechocolate]

I'm glad that you could talk to him - trust and communication and vital to any stable relationship and being afraid to talk about something that is concerning you because of jealousy fosters neither trust nor communication.