Men who look at other women.

[lilmissinsecure]

And on the other hand women have evolved?

 

Study shows that today more women are marrying up than at any point in recorded history. So apparently, just like female monkeys in the jungles, female humans too still seek mates based on their resources.

 

While males are wired to be whores and pursue quantity, females are wired to be gold diggers and pursue quality.

 

I fail to see how one is better than the other. They just want different things that are as bad in a way.

 

I disagree with this, im a woman and i dont gold dig. I hate spending money which isnt mine as i feel cheeky. I have been with my bf 4 years he has a job yes and im doing courses as im finding it difficult to find a job. As he earns the money i wouldnt dream of taking money out and spending it on myself even though we live together and have done ages.

 

I dont believe men can use the excuse that there programed to be that way anymore. We have all evolved. They can help themselves abit at least and not blatantly stare. Where not in the caveman days anymore. Women have become more independant and quite alot go out and earn money for families thereselves now. It wasnt like that in the olden days so why can men keep using the same excuse all the time.... "Im a man" just doesn't cut it anymore i don't think.

Edited June 23, 2011 by lilmissinsecure

[Woggle]

It is tragic that Snooki no longer likes men. How will we ever manage without her in the dating pool?

 

All sarcasm aside of course it is disrespectful to stare at other women around your wife or girlfriend. Everybody looks men and women but to be obvious about it is wrong.

[samspade]

I dont believe men can use the excuse that there programed to be that way anymore. We have all evolved. They can help themselves abit at least and not blatantly stare. Where not in the caveman days anymore. Women have become more independant and quite alot go out and earn money for families thereselves now. It wasnt like that in the olden days so why can men keep using the same excuse all the time.... "Im a man" just doesn't cut it anymore i don't think.

 

You're right, it's not an excuse. Men can keep themselves from gawking when in the presence of their GFs or wives.

 

Yes, it is a biological directive for a man to spread his seed, and that is why he's constantly checking out beautiful women. It's also a biological directive for women to be hypergamous. That doesn't mean humans get a free pass to ignore our better judgment. I'm a man, I know that I see several dozen women a day I'd nail if I had the chance, in a vacuum. But when I'm around my wife, whom I respect and am also attracted to, I keep my eyes in check. Just like I know my wife respects me enough not to jump into the sack with the next charming wealthy guy she meets. Now - might she feel attracted to such a guy? Sure. But out of respect to me, those feelings are kept to herself, and I do likewise. We're not fooling each other, we both know there will always be attractive others out there, but as long as we're together we don't need to be gawking or remarking or shyt-testing each other about it.

[Houndsoflove]

You're right, it's not an excuse. Men can keep themselves from gawking when in the presence of their GFs or wives.

 

We're not fooling each other, we both know there will always be attractive others out there, but as long as we're together we don't need to be gawking or remarking or shyt-testing each other about it.

 

Exactly. It's amazing that some people are flabbergasted by the idea of respecting someone they choose to spend time with and vice versa.

[musemaj11]

I disagree with this, im a woman and i dont gold dig. I hate spending money which isnt mine as i feel cheeky. I have been with my bf 4 years he has a job yes and im doing courses as im finding it difficult to find a job. As he earns the money i wouldnt dream of taking money out and spending it on myself even though we live together and have done ages.

 

I dont believe men can use the excuse that there programed to be that way anymore. We have all evolved. They can help themselves abit at least and not blatantly stare. Where not in the caveman days anymore. Women have become more independant and quite alot go out and earn money for families thereselves now. It wasnt like that in the olden days so why can men keep using the same excuse all the time.... "Im a man" just doesn't cut it anymore i don't think.

So you are unemployed and your bf is happily supporting the two of you? Lol, so much for evolution.

 

Yes there are women who are the sole breadwinners now but no woman with choice would voluntarily take in a healthy male and happily provide for him.

 

Lets get real. We are all products of ages of evolution. We aren't gonna suddenly change in just a few years.

 

Expecting a provider is female natural right just like philandering is a male natural right.

Edited June 23, 2011 by musemaj11

[Houndsoflove]

So you are unemployed and your bf is happily supporting the two of you? Lol, so much for evolution.

 

Yes there are women who are the sole breadwinners now but no woman with choice would voluntarily take in a healthy male and happily provide for him.

 

Lets get real. We are all products of ages of evolution. We aren't gonna suddenly change in just a few years.

 

Expecting a provider is female natural right just like philandering is a male natural right.

 

Let me guess, you live in the south or the midwest? Many women including me make more than or as much as their male counterparts. I expect anyone i'm with to pursue their goals and i will support them as they do, and all of the guys I have been with expected the same with me. I also support my friends, male or female. I live in NY, all of my friends and associates are extremely ambitious and we have a hell of a lot of fun doing what we do.

[mogul]

While in a relationship, or even on dates, I notice other attractive women around but I try to be as discreet as possible.

[Els]

I would personally not be comfortable with a guy who blatantly looks. Nor do I do so; unless said guy is dressed in a Mickey Mouse costume or something, of course, and in that case it'd just be a gender-neutral glance of curiosity for the bizarre. The bf doesn't blatantly look. Pretty sure it's possible for any evolved human, be they male or female, to control themselves in that manner.

[shadowofman]

Don't know why anyone would care. If a woman tells me that I'm the only person she ever wants to look at or touch, I run for the hills. Being someone's only is way too difficult for me at this point. I prefer women that have their own lives and more taste for it. Likewise, I'd be damned if I ever entertain a jealous woman again. Single for life seems like a much better option.

[Els]

Shadowofman, I think we're all relatively familiar with your take on relationships.

 

If what you want is an open, polygamous R, as you have stated multiple times - good for you. Please don't confuse those of us who do want monogamy, as 'not having our own lives', however. It is entirely possible to 'have a life' and also want a monogamous R. Some of us do not need to 'look at and touch' more than one person of the opposite sex to be satisfied with life.

[shadowofman]

As the OP was expressing a curiosity. I was expressing my counter curiosity. Why would anyone care?

 

Don't chastise me for expressing myself. Like your tired of hearing my POV. Like your jealous of my freedom. Of my ability to control my possessive instincts.

[Els]

Don't know why anyone would care. If a woman tells me that I'm the only person she ever wants to look at or touch, I run for the hills. Being someone's only is way too difficult for me at this point. I prefer women that have their own lives and more taste for it. Likewise, I'd be damned if I ever entertain a jealous woman again. Single for life seems like a much better option.

 

This being an open forum, I think it is well within my rights to state a rebuttal towards your insinuation that a woman must want to look at and touch lots of men in order to 'have a life and more taste for it'. Had you simply said you preferred polygamous women, I would not have said anything.

 

Come now, if I had said something like 'If a man tells me he wants to look at and touch lots of women, I run for the hills. I prefer men with character and integrity', you would have rebutted in kind, would you not? One should not be judged negatively for wanting either a monogamous or polygamous R.

[lilmissinsecure]

So you are unemployed and your bf is happily supporting the two of you? Lol, so much for evolution.

 

 

Im not happy that hes supporting me, which is the difference, im doing courses, volunteering and doing everything i can to find work. Id be quite happy earning the money. The uk job situation isnt too good at the moment though. Ive been volunteering a year, which i think shows how willing i am to work. Oh and not to mention the fact ive just had an operation a week ago.

 

Things have changed since the caveman days. Im not saying he should close his eyes where ever he goes but we are not cavemen anymore men shouldn't be drooling and staring. A quick glance and noticing someone is attractive is totally different to staring. Men can control themseleves.

[lilmissinsecure]

it is natural it doesnt mean he doesnt love you or anything, you cant say if you seen a hotguy you wouldnt look at him you would and you cant deny that.

 

yes but theres a difference between looking and staring. Staring at anyone is just rude for whatever reason it is your looking

[shadowofman]

Come now, if I had said something like 'If a man tells me he wants to look at and touch lots of women, I run for the hills. I prefer men with character and integrity', you would have rebutted in kind, would you not? One should not be judged negatively for wanting either a monogamous or polygamous R.

 

I pretty sure you may have said something like that. It's certainly a common perception. And I would not condescend you if you had made such a statement. To clarify my statement "have a life", I mean, if I am someones whole world, then they really have nothing at all. If I am to be the only person another loves, then they are missing out on life. Not to say that someone else isn't worthy of being someone else's "sun and stars". But any woman that places this much emphasis on me is deficient in life. I will never father children. I can never reciprocate that sort of exclusivity. I might disappear from this planet at any moment. But anyway,...stupid to argue this.

[alexlakeman]

We are dogs ... and sometimes we get busted, but usually I am pretty good at just glancing...

[TheLawmaker]

yes but theres a difference between looking and staring. Staring at anyone is just rude for whatever reason it is your looking

 

And that is the long and the short of it.

 

Looking briefly shouldn't be a problem, even if you're in a relationship. Staring like a stalker, however, should be avoided at all costs.

[thatone]

This is actually why women are evolving and becoming more and more bisexual/gay and less straight. Men aren't evolving to capture OUR hearts better and their penises are going to start suffering for it. Women need devotion and someone who doesn't think with their crotch to be happy.

 

My friends used to all be straight, but lately, over the years, I realized that all my friends who were straight and unhappy with men are now dating each other and I'm now the only female among my friends with a boyfriend anymore.

 

I can sort of understand. I get jealous of the closeness of their relationships sometimes.

 

that's purely a symptom of your age range. i have a gay sister who is around 50 and i can tell you with certainty that it is not all sunshine and roses with her relationships.

 

they invariably end with one or the other trying to turn their partner into a "traiditional woman" by unloading all of their tedious domestic problems (like cleaning the house, raising kids, etc.) on the other while the "non domestic" one goes off to work and plays in her spare time and whatever else she wants to do (i.e., pretending to be a younger man). they hold money over each others' heads to accomplish these ends more than men ever do to women.

 

Im not happy that hes supporting me, which is the difference, im doing courses, volunteering and doing everything i can to find work. Id be quite happy earning the money. The uk job situation isnt too good at the moment though. Ive been volunteering a year, which i think shows how willing i am to work. Oh and not to mention the fact ive just had an operation a week ago.

 

Things have changed since the caveman days. Im not saying he should close his eyes where ever he goes but we are not cavemen anymore men shouldn't be drooling and staring. A quick glance and noticing someone is attractive is totally different to staring. Men can control themseleves.

what a stereotypical female imaginary world response. "not being happy" with it isn't even worth discussing, and no it is not any different. you know what happens when a man is "not happy" with being unable to find a job? one of these things...

 

a) frying burgers

b) mom's basement

c) homeless

d) prison

 

you have the luxury of being able to pretend that by simply thinking about things that aren't reality, you identify with those thoughts....as long as your boyfriend is paying the rent. men don't get that luxury. and no, volunteering to make you feel better about yourself is not a viable substitution, why do you think most of the volunteers and charity workers you meet are other women?

 

you wanna show the world that you're really unhappy with the situation? stop spending time on volunteer work and go to every restaurant near you and ask for a job washing dishes.

 

as someone else pointed out in a recent thread, women love to talk about equality in terms of male privilege, but when male obligation enters the equation they suddenly don't understand. the obligation is the price of privilege, and the obligation means if you don't have a job, you have no excuse for being jobless, go get one. and not after volunteer time, or babysitting the sister's kids time, or going to school time, or thinking about what you want to do time, get a job TODAY.

 

alternatively, drop the high and mighty "evolved" attitude and simply be a housewife, you have that choice after all.

Edited June 27, 2011 by thatone

[JHS]

Why is it that some men who are in loving relationships tend to look at other woman , like for instance when a couple is walking down a street and a woman walks by the man turns around to look, its something I never understood.

 

I think a man turning to look in that instance is a little impolite. But also, many times a person might look at something and it's not in a sexual way something may have just caught his eye.

[Els]

as someone else pointed out in a recent thread, women love to talk about equality in terms of male privilege, but when male obligation enters the equation they suddenly don't understand.

 

Oh, I agree with that.

 

It's a pity that you only jumped on her hypocrisy but not on the guy in that same thread who claims to want equality but says he'll hire an equally qualified man over an equally qualified woman though.

 

Also, there aren't only those 4 options available to unemployed men. There are unemployed men, or student males, living off their wives/gfs. You only need to take a short look around the forums.

Edited June 27, 2011 by Elswyth

[thatone]

and those men are the exception, not the rule.

 

men are as quick to judge those types of men as women are, too. men don't look kindly upon other men who are lazy and mooch off of their women. the idea of male obligation to provide themselves is not solely the opinion of women.

 

as for the hiring men over women, that's another matter altogether and i don't disagree that it's wrong. hiring is an individual assessment, not a gender or racial assessment.

 

but the idea that "thinking about" or "feeling bad about" a problem is equivalent to solving that problem is a purely female (and ridiculous) notion, that's why she's getting picked on about it.