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Friend or lover??


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lovinglife12

Please advise me...

So first know that I am young, just graduated from high school, but I consider myself extremely matured... been through a lot in my life. Trust me when i tell you: emotionally I am NOT 18 but a lot older.

 

I have a friend from to middle school (CT)... i had the biggest crush on him and him on me...but he thinks we don't know each other enough to date... (pretty shoking for middle schooler to say, if you ask me) Anyways I respected his answer and liked him more for it, because he was right.

 

We kept our distance in high school, not for any reason, we just had a school with 4000 students so we bearly saw each other. But both of us dated different people and stuff. Junior year I started dating my current boyfriend which I love and care soo much for. He was a senior back then and when he moved on to college we had problems that first semester because I didn't feel like I was his priority like I used to be. Now that i'm where he was I understand how it feels to be out of HS. Then Out of nowhere CT starts talking to me. He was checking on how I had been and what i'm up to ...He wanted to hang out and see me more, we told each other how we still have some attraction he called me beautiful, we talked on the phone.. I only talked to him because i liked the attention from him. but nothing ever happened, we never hang out. everything ended up straightning out with my BF the next semester. A YEAR LATER it GOT worse somehow CT and i NOW SHARE MUTUAL FRIENDS my bestfriend dates his bestfriend!! and turns out my aunt is bestfriends with his sister! I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt bad for thinking about someone else. Ct and I went on a date but nothing ever happened no kiss or anything. He doesn't want a relationship at all but he says he really likes me he's very respectful towards me. Eventually I went back with my boyfriend because Ilove him and he was very sad and depressed. I still see Ct. but neither of us comments on our feelings...we been seeing eachother every week, never alone of course. I know this guy is perfect for me, everyone that knows we like eachother says soo even family..I love hanging out with him he is a great friend and person all the way.

I feel so guilty...I know I love my boyfriend but why has is friends attraction still there?? CT enrolled for the AIR FORCE he'll only be here for 3 more months. I want to spend as much time with him. Should I? I know its wrong to stay with someone when you want someone else but I don't see myself with out my boyfriend! Im confused on whats best for me... ADVISE ME

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