“There’s no such thing as an honest cheat”

[MissBee]

Actually, I was a married man who had an affair. And I could have written it!

 

Wow...welll there you have it!

 

Although we will hear "everyone is different", as if that needs to be said, at least there is an actual former cheating man who can attest that it is not just a bunch of "bitter bullshyt" written because everyone is such a "hater" against OW and are simply going to great lengths to cut down their "happiness"

[Emme]

Thanks for the link... All I know is it goes both ways... If a Ninja don't want you, he doesn't want you... So why keep a shoe that doesn't fit. MOVE ON!

[OldOnTheInside]

So what the article is basically saying, is that a person who is willing to lie to their partner is dishonest?

 

Interesting read, similar to my ex-wife's thoughts.

[fooled once]

Not nice..Not nice to call her neighborhood ghetto or her genre hood.. It really doesn't matter where she is from anyway. Alicia is a role model no matter if you like it or not. Tons and tons of people all over the world look up to Alicia and find power in her music ! Alicia is also very active in charity far beyond most people and far beyond the majority of celebs..

 

Sorry, but she may be your model, but not mine I prefer my role models to be better people; people who help those less fortunate, people who give to those in need and have decent morals and ethics.

 

And if you think a baby is going to keep her marriage going, that is laughable.

 

You are correct, marriage is a crap shoot. If you (general you) aren't going to put in the time, dedication and work, don't do it. If you (general you) are going to hop on the next hard pee pee for thrills, don't get married.

 

Marriages do end, honorably. Ending a marriage for an affair partner is not honorable. It is more honorable to END the marriage prior to becoming a cheater.

[bentnotbroken]

Not nice..Not nice to call her neighborhood ghetto or her genre hood.. It really doesn't matter where she is from anyway. Alicia is a role model no matter if you like it or not. Tons and tons of people all over the world look up to Alicia and find power in her music ! Alicia is also very active in charity far beyond most people and far beyond the majority of celebs..

 

Heck maybe this is Alicia Keyes and she is trying to vent incognito.

[bentnotbroken]

Anyone with access to Google can find that type of info...

Hell's Kitchen-Eh! kinda ghetto, especially back when she was born. I don't think her color of skin is the matter. She is a hip-hop/ R&B artist, not a "classical" music artist, btw. The genre is mostly "hood".

 

And in case ya' care...

 

http://www.rap-up.com/2009/09/26/mashondas-open-letter-to-alicia-keys/

 

 

:sick:You and I will disagree on this.

[MissBee]

:sick:You and I will disagree on this.

 

I concur on the disagreeing....

 

This thread is not about Alicia Keys...but in any case, she is a classically trained pianist btw.

[MissBee]

no offence, but I have no idea who you are talking about ( other than i have the impression that they are celebrities), and, quite frankly, how does that one relatioship negate the original post?

 

( by the way, I can't help but thik that there would be more than just a little spin doctoring in anything you hear about the two people you are talking about)

 

sorry if i sound rude... i don't follow the" cult of celebrity" which makes it hard to understand what your point is

 

Precisely...using one person's scenario (falsely at that), glorifying it and applying it to your life and then using it to negate the general thread is very silly.

[BB07]

Precisely...using one person's scenario (falsely at that), glorifying it and applying it to your life and then using it to negate the general thread is very silly.

 

 

I still heart you MissBee.........:D

[MissBee]

I still heart you MissBee.........:D

 

The feeling is mutual darling

[MissBee]

i still have no idea who those people are, but i guess it doesn't really matter

 

( my god but i soud like a big nerd...still stuck in the music from pre- 1995, i guess)

 

 

Yea..that's a whole other thread in itself. I have no idea how melissa became Alicia Keys' spokesperson but as you rightly said, that is besides the point.

[John Michael Kane]

Alicia married her affair partner. Big deal.

 

And the article is false.

[Damia]

Well I liked the original post it struck a few truths for me.Thanks for posting it.

Where did it originate from?part of #14 is missing

[MissBee]

Well I liked the original post it struck a few truths for me.Thanks for posting it.

Where did it originate from?part of #14 is missing

 

I'm not sure you can post links but it's from a site called baggage reclaim..Google it! The missing part was missing in the original post as well, which was a bit annoying. I do like the site and the advice is genius but I must say that the author's editing skills need to be sharpened as a lot of times I do notice mistakes and omissions.

[Spark1111]

Love the thread! Love the site; find it very empowering to ANY woman in a relationship.

 

FBS here, and it rang true for my sitch.

 

Among his first words on D-DAY: "Please don't tell anyone." I told the world as I was convinced my marriage was over and I needed support. I was galled that even expected me to cover for him with the devastation I was feeling over his betrayal and duplicity. Did she? Was he use to someone who covered for him constantly? Hmmm....maybe.

 

NO ONE was more stunned than I when that seemed like the last thing he wanted. But I still had a lot to learn about the affair dynamic.

 

Also, today he seems to hold her in contempt. I wish it were not so and is certainly not anything I encouraged or needed to heal. I actually held empathy towards her for a very long time. I sensed she was lonely and vulnerable. And I chastized him for how cowardly his actions towards her were too!

 

But she seemed to allow it or encourage it, as if being kind and patient with him would force him to choose her over me. When that did not produce the desired result.....well, today she hates us both.

 

His reasoning for his disdain? Probably projection. Of all the people on the planet who would have advised him otherwise, only your AP tells you that it will be okay to deceive, lie, and betray your spouse, marriage, family and legacy in the name of "our true love."

 

The secrecy fuels the delusional fantasies: Our kids will be fine and will love you like I do (HA!); My extended family will embrace you;

[Mimolicious]

Not nice..Not nice to call her neighborhood ghetto or her genre hood.. It really doesn't matter where she is from anyway. Alicia is a role model no matter if you like it or not. Tons and tons of people all over the world look up to Alicia and find power in her music ! Alicia is also very active in charity far beyond most people and far beyond the majority of celebs..

 

 

Let me ask you, do YOU live in NYC????????? Have you ever been to Hell's kitchen? Cause I have. There are housing projects where back in the late 80's and early 90's the tune was "BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!" (as in gun shots) I'm not talking out of my a$$... Normally, I don't speak about shyte that I don't know about.

 

Hip-hop- R & B= HOOD. I don't know where the hell you live or what you listen to but it is. I've worked in the industry long enough to know what is "classical" and what is so not much. Hip-hop classical??? Really, really??! SMH. *Facepalm* Don't get it twisted, I am a hip-hop junkie. I grew up with it, was married to it... (oops! no more on that!)

 

You are confusing an artist's talent with their personal life. Woody Allen is one of best screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, jazz musician, author, etc. Has lead a sophisticated career yet he basically was having an A with his adopted (not legally but he raised her) daughter, grossly innapropiate. Not someone that I would want to have as a father figure. So him shacking a child he was raising worthy of an Oscar? Pluh-ease!

 

So tell me, how has Alicia Keys changed your life? Did you send in your $29.99 to her fan club already? Is she a driving force in your hopes for waiting for a MM for the next year? Hope you got enough of her music to get you by for the next 365 days or the next 8760 hours. Shuffle away!!!!!!!!! Relax groupie.

[Mimolicious]

:sick:You and I will disagree on this.

 

 

What are you disagreeing with? That hip-hop and R&B is not "HOOD"? Anyway, I dont want to continue to TJ... but what is it? Classical? Contemporary? Mainstream? It's street shyte... hood. At least where I come from, actually the home of it.

[MissBee]

Let me ask you, do YOU live in NYC????????? Have you ever been to Hell's kitchen? Cause I have. There are housing projects where back in the late 80's and early 90's the tune was "BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!" (as in gun shots) I'm not talking out of my a$$... Normally, I don't speak about shyte that I don't know about.

 

Hip-hop- R & B= HOOD. I don't know where the hell you live or what you listen to but it is. I've worked in the industry long enough to know what is "classical" and what is so not much. Hip-hop classical??? Really, really??! SMH. *Facepalm* Don't get it twisted, I am a hip-hop junkie. I grew up with it, was married to it... (oops! no more on that!)

 

You are confusing an artist's talent with their personal life. Woody Allen is one of best screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, jazz musician, author, etc. Has lead a sophisticated career yet he basically was having an A with his adopted (not legally but he raised her) daughter, grossly innapropiate. Not someone that I would want to have as a father figure. So him shacking a child he was raising worthy of an Oscar? Pluh-ease!

 

So tell me, how has Alicia Keys changed your life? Did you send in your $29.99 to her fan club already? Is she a driving force in your hopes for waiting for a MM for the next year? Hope you got enough of her music to get you by for the next 365 days or the next 8760 hours. Shuffle away!!!!!!!!! Relax groupie.

 

This thread is not a music thread...but I had to chime in to say. Hip hop and rap are indeed music influenced by the realities of inner city life (well originally, since now you don't need to be from the streets to perform it as simply a style of music); however R & B aka Rhythm and Blues is not the same and is not "hood" unless you're implying that anything originating from African American roots is by default hood or ghetto. Alicia Keys is a contemporary rhythm & blues singer, along with Adele, Aretha Franklin, Marvin Gaye, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Lauryn Hill and the list can really go on, none of whom I think depict anything ghetto or hood at all in their styles.

 

But that was really digressing....

 

Carry on.

[NoIDidn't]

This thread is not a music thread...but I had to chime in to say. Hip hop and rap are indeed music influenced by the realities of inner city life (well originally, since now you don't need to be from the streets to perform it as simply a style of music); however R & B aka Rhythm and Blues is not the same and is not "hood" unless you're implying that anything originating from African American roots is by default hood or ghetto. Alicia Keys is a contemporary rhythm & blues singer, along with Adele, Aretha Franklin, Marvin Gaye, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Lauryn Hill and the list can really go on, none of whom I think depict anything ghetto or hood at all in their styles.

 

But that was really digressing....

 

Carry on.

 

Still off topic. Personally, I find AK very "hoodish". All the "Yeah, yeah, what up y'all" and everything else she says on her albums supports my opinion. And that annoying "ha, ha" laugh that she does. I hate it. Either way, I am not a fan, not because of her actions, but because she can't sing. I love her writing and playing, but her singing is very lacking.

 

WIth that said, the original poster that introduced "ghetto" into this discussion was likely not calling AK ghetto, but saying that her actions were. And, I would have to disagree with whoever that poster is, because cheating is not something limited to class or race distinctions. Everybody does it.

 

On the topic of the thread, I love that site! There is NO SUCH THING as an honest cheat, is so true. And yet so many OW fall for that "its the situation" line every time.

 

How many times do we read what a great father he is, and yet this man supposedly spends his every waking moment distracted with thoughts of his OW when with them?

 

The truth always comes out in the end, though. When the A is over, the OW no longer feels so loyal to him and the lies she told in defense of him during the A. Then we get to find out that she knew she was being lied to. She knew of some of his dishonest business dealings. And she felt bad about the times he blew his kids off by sneaking off to be with her.

 

An honest cheat? Yeah, right.

[MissBee]

Still off topic. Personally, I find AK very "hoodish". All the "Yeah, yeah, what up y'all" and everything else she says on her albums supports my opinion. And that annoying "ha, ha" laugh that she does. I hate it. Either way, I am not a fan, not because of her actions, but because she can't sing. I love her writing and playing, but her singing is very lacking.

 

WIth that said, the original poster that introduced "ghetto" into this discussion was likely not calling AK ghetto, but saying that her actions were. And, I would have to disagree with whoever that poster is, because cheating is not something limited to class or race distinctions. Everybody does it.

 

On the topic of the thread, I love that site! There is NO SUCH THING as an honest cheat, is so true. And yet so many OW fall for that "its the situation" line every time.

 

How many times do we read what a great father he is, and yet this man supposedly spends his every waking moment distracted with thoughts of his OW when with them?

 

The truth always comes out in the end, though. When the A is over, the OW no longer feels so loyal to him and the lies she told in defense of him during the A. Then we get to find out that she knew she was being lied to. She knew of some of his dishonest business dealings. And she felt bad about the times he blew his kids off by sneaking off to be with her.

 

An honest cheat? Yeah, right.

 

I was speaking about calling R&B as a genre ghetto, which it isn't...and the reasons you cited for Alicia's style being ghetto, because she says "what's up" and "ha ha"..that makes no sense. It's fine not to like her but as for what hoodish and ghetto are...well that's another matter. But again...that's hardly the point and we could go back and forth for days on the topic of what ghetto is and music genres and so and so forth.

[carrie999]

I'm sorry, but this reads like an infomercial mixed with a horoscope. There's some truth in it that applies to most people, and there is plenty of catchy and silly jargon interspersed throughout.

[OldOnTheInside]

I'm sorry, but this reads like an infomercial mixed with a horoscope. There's some truth in it that applies to most people, and there is plenty of catchy and silly jargon interspersed throughout.

 

That's pretty much the way everything in life is.

 

Just have to separate the truth from the jargon and move on.

[NoIDidn't]

I was speaking about calling R&B as a genre ghetto, which it isn't...and the reasons you cited for Alicia's style being ghetto, because she says "what's up" and "ha ha"..that makes no sense. It's fine not to like her but as for what hoodish and ghetto are...well that's another matter. But again...that's hardly the point and we could go back and forth for days on the topic of what ghetto is and music genres and so and so forth.

 

LOL. I didn't post to offend. We could go back and forth forever with this but the point is I think she's ghetto and you don't. Not a big deal. But, yeah, I wasn't calling R&B ghetto. I quoted you because yours was the last post in that sequence mentioning AK and the term "ghetto".

 

We all have our opinions. And like Mimo, I am very close to this business. I just finished a gig earlier tonight.

 

I just wanted to add my two cents on the discussion of AK. And I did. Thanks.

[Mimolicious]

On the music subject. We are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy far beyond the days of Motown. There is actually a sub genre R&B/Hip-Hop, not much of the Rhythm & Blues that your parents listened to. I mean, I think is pretty insultive to compare someone from the ranks of Aretha Franklin to Nicki Minaj. The industry is remotely anything of what it really once stood for.

 

So yeah, it's become "hood". Sorry, I stand by what I said. Maybe for someone who doesn't know the in & outs and breakdowns of the industry, this is not transparent lingo.

 

NID- I moved away from that lifestyle. I was married to a "HOOD" celeb.

 

LMAO! Who BTW was not such a "honest cheat" till he got bagged a few times. Anyway. If you think about it, there is one side of cheating that gets more honesty than the other. That is the OW. I mean, men lie to the OW too and some don't even say that they are married from the get- but I think we can all agree that if there is one person that knows that the MM/MW is LYING to at least one other person, it is the AP.