Ex's with GIGS

[brokendreamz]

Do they ever return after the first re bound relationship?

 

I was with mine for 8 years, she's been with him for 2 months, we've been split up 5.5 months.

 

Don't think I could take her back anyway, but just wondered if anyone else has experienced this?

[oldguy]

experienced what exactly?

[WTRanger]

Do they ever return after the first re bound relationship?

 

I was with mine for 8 years, she's been with him for 2 months, we've been split up 5.5 months.

 

Don't think I could take her back anyway, but just wondered if anyone else has experienced this?

 

If you don't think you can take her back, they why ask questions? Why even think about it? Why ask if anyone has gone through it? Unless, of course, there is this little nagging idea in your head about getting back together at some point.

 

The better question at hand is what do you need to to do move on? What do you need to go to get your mind to now dwell on such pointless thoughts such as if you'll ever get back together or if she at least comes back asking for a 2nd shot.

[brokendreamz]

WTRanger - Thanks for the input. I was kind of expecting a reply along those lines. I know I'm ever so slowly allowing her to leave my heart but I honestly don't know if I'd have her back or not.

 

She fell out of love with me because I was suffering from depression although neither of us realised that's what was wrong - we honestly just thought I was a negative moody dick. I was not good to her for the last 10 or so months and she had enough and I don't blame her.

 

It doesn't help that some bloke she works with was flirting with her and making her feel special during this time, and I think that's where the GIGS has played a part.

 

She says she didn't leave me for him but after being broken up about 3 months she got with him but tells me she still loves me and never wanted to hurt me.

 

As I'm writing this I'm thinking there's no way back - it just hurts like hell and I miss her sooooo much.

 

Just another ****ed up situation but after 8 years together (I'm 34 she's 28) I feel like maybe I should be prepared to give it another shot.

 

Sheesh - she's probably never going to ask any way so I really don't know why I'm doing this to myself.

 

AAAAAaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!

[WTRanger]

WTRanger - Thanks for the input. I was kind of expecting a reply along those lines. I know I'm ever so slowly allowing her to leave my heart but I honestly don't know if I'd have her back or not.

 

She fell out of love with me because I was suffering from depression although neither of us realised that's what was wrong - we honestly just thought I was a negative moody dick. I was not good to her for the last 10 or so months and she had enough and I don't blame her.

 

It doesn't help that some bloke she works with was flirting with her and making her feel special during this time, and I think that's where the GIGS has played a part.

 

She says she didn't leave me for him but after being broken up about 3 months she got with him but tells me she still loves me and never wanted to hurt me.

 

As I'm writing this I'm thinking there's no way back - it just hurts like hell and I miss her sooooo much.

 

Just another ****ed up situation but after 8 years together (I'm 34 she's 28) I feel like maybe I should be prepared to give it another shot.

 

Sheesh - she's probably never going to ask any way so I really don't know why I'm doing this to myself.

 

AAAAAaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!

 

Well, if you weren't so good to her the last 10 months, then it's not really GIGS then. She was looking to get out of a sinking relationship and away from a bad boyfriend. I'm sure the dude at work seemed like a knight in shining armor at the time. GIGS to me, is when the relationship ends suddenly during the good times without a clear reason. Yours ended with clear reasons for her leaving and sounded like it was circling the drain during the last year or so.

 

The other thing you are fighting was that if you were together for 8 years, and she's now 28, that means most of her 20's were in a relationship and that can freak a lot of people out when they start to approach the dirty thirty. GIGS or not, she may just want to feel what its like to not be with someone that needs constant maintenance or walk on eggshells around them.

 

3 months into the breakup, she can do what and whoever she wants. It's a painful thing to think about, so rather than cut open wounds just try not to dwell on that aspect.

 

You need to focus on you and you alone. Because if (and it's a huge if) she comes back, in your depressed state right now you won't look any better than the man she left. How can you convince her that you've made any changes from being a moody person when your just stuck moping around?

[brokendreamz]

WTRanger.

 

You make some valid points here. Particularly about it not being GIGS, I'd never looked at it like that before.

 

I know she can do what ever she wants now - It just smarts that it's with a guy she's been working with and makes me question her loyalty and faithfulness over the last few years! I actually think we'd have been able to form some sort of friendship in the future, but since she got with him I have no time for her at all and once the house is sold NC will be a way of life for me!

 

I really feel that after 8 years together she should have had a sit down chat about how she was feeling. It really did come out of the blue for me - I was in a really bad place and she bailed, but again - we didn't realise it was depression so I can't blame her.

 

I have spent the last 5 months improving myself; lost 2 stone, seen a therapist, on anti depressants, joined a gym, new wardrobe and after reading a post on here from someone else I'm hoping to go to BOSS in Utah for a month. I really am totally different to the guy she left, so much so that I can't help think she's done me a huge favour - it just feels like I won the lotto but lost it all the next day if you know what I mean.

 

What's done is done. I'm doing my best to move on; I just really miss her.