tigressA Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 She's ten years older than you? Well, there you have it. She's jealous. She's aging and can't STAND to have a more youthful woman in the mix. Yes, you're lucky you found out now rather than later that your "man" would choose to befriend that woman rather than take her to task for her treatment of you. I agree. This sounds like the most likely explanation. What a catty b*tch. I'm so sorry for what has happened to your relationship OP, but like Donna here has said, and like others will doubtless say, better to find out now than later what kind of "man" he really is. Take some time, you will heal and eventually find a real man who will make you a top priority. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I'm really sorry that it ended so badly. But, yes, MUCH better to know now than after the wedding where your partner's loyaties stand. About the woman--yes, she sounds catty and jealous. You will probably run into this "type" again. With a strong man backing you up, it never has to get to this point. You shouldn't have been left to fend for yourself in his social group, or stay home. Not acceptable Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 very sorry that things were resolved this way, but honestly? When you're up against a bully like that ... bad shxt happens. Though I do wish your SO would have more seriously weighed his decision, because my guess is that the bully-bxtch is gonna be out on her butt at some point simply because people are tired of her ... it's a moot point now, but I'm curious if you've ever got in her face and told her just what you think of her bullying? It's been my experience that a bully will back down when confronted, and I'm wondering if she'd respond that way ... *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
RepairMinded Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 The end of this relationship was sadly inevitable (although who would have thought so quickly?) based on taking what Lolly posted at its face value. Better for the end to come before rather than after the wedding. Her ex was a man who willingly and repeatedly sided with his friends over his fiance, going so far as to socialize with them, without her. It doesn't even matter if Lolly was being unreasonable, the mere fact that they could not see eye to eye on this basic issue, and her fiance reacted to that disagreement by essentially ditching her to socialize with others, meant the relationship was clearly doomed the first time it hit any kind of a serious rough patch. You don't solve a relationship problem, whatever it is, by running away from your partner, as Lolly's fiance did. A better solution would have been for the fiance to persuade Lolly that he would clearly stick up for her if they were out and the other woman became abusive towards Lolly again. Obviously he was unwilling to "protect" Lolly in that kind of a social situation. The ex's apparent easy willingness to let Lolly go over this suggests that if he wasn't actually cheating with this particular woman, he probably had something going on with someone else in that group, or at least an idea of something going on. At the risk of being crude, men don't give up p*ssy just for the sake of going out with a few guy friends. Evidently he didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 The end of this relationship was sadly inevitable (although who would have thought so quickly?) based on taking what Lolly posted at its face value. Better for the end to come before rather than after the wedding. Her ex was a man who willingly and repeatedly sided with his friends over his fiance, going so far as to socialize with them, without her. It doesn't even matter if Lolly was being unreasonable, the mere fact that they could not see eye to eye on this basic issue, and her fiance reacted to that disagreement by essentially ditching her to socialize with others, meant the relationship was clearly doomed the first time it hit any kind of a serious rough patch. You don't solve a relationship problem, whatever it is, by running away from your partner, as Lolly's fiance did. A better solution would have been for the fiance to persuade Lolly that he would clearly stick up for her if they were out and the other woman became abusive towards Lolly again. Obviously he was unwilling to "protect" Lolly in that kind of a social situation. The ex's apparent easy willingness to let Lolly go over this suggests that if he wasn't actually cheating with this particular woman, he probably had something going on with someone else in that group, or at least an idea of something going on. At the risk of being crude, men don't give up p*ssy just for the sake of going out with a few guy friends. Evidently he didn't. Oh yea you bet, he was fooling around with that woman. Don't worry OP, he's a loser. Be glad you didn't have to deal with this cheating 10 years later with a ring on your finger and two kids to take care of with bills to pay. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 We broke up. After planning our WHOLE lives together, it is done, just like that. I told him how i felt he said he didnt have a solution and he picks them. He chose this ahold friend who has insulted, embarrassed, and spread lies about me, he chose that over us. I'm so sad and in grief for the death of our relationship and what future we planned to share. But I'm relieved I know where he stands, now rather than later. I could not be with a man who didn't back me up 100%. My heart is heavy and in repair but I know God makes everything happen for a reason. I'm sorry that you're hurting. You must be in shock! HIS LOSS! Well, one positive thing -- You never have to see or deal with her ever again! Fact that he chose them (her) over you just shows what a doofus he truly is! Link to post Share on other sites
heartshaped Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I'm so, so sorry you are going through this, but in the long run this is really the best thing that could have happened. He obviously wasn't even willing to put you before his friendships- it would have never worked out. He didn't value you or your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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