Is it me or is his ex after more than friendship?

[Blondeambition]

My boyfriend's ex is driving me insane! Long story short, I asked the b/f to stop communicating with his ex because among other reasons, I don't trust her. He told me he has a few times now, however I know they continue to call each other. We've had a few blowouts and even broke up for a couple of days because of her. He keeps assuring me that they're just friends, she is over him, she has moved on etc. Now I just discovered she is using the nickname he gave her along with HIS lastname as her email name. They have been broken up for almost 1 1/2 years, and I'm living with the guy. Does this sound like she's over him or am I just blinded by fury???

[Jeo123]

About the screen name, I'll admit that using is last name is definatly a bit weir. Do you know if she had this screen name from when they were together? It's possible that she created whatever account and just doesn't want to change it.

 

Just a possible thought

[AngelicDevl]

Good grief! Sounds like you have a situation like mine with a mornic ex who wont go away. While your situation is alittle different than mine (my bf has decided not to communicate with her, whereas it seems yours hasnt gotten to that point yet), you've got to do something for your own sanity because if you dont, you'll feel like this always and it will ruin your relationship with your bf.

 

In my opinion, you need to tell your bf straight up that his communicating with her makes you feel uncomfortable. Tell him why and be honest. DOnt get all mad while doing it, kleep your cool so you dont come off as a psycho If he truly cares about you, your feelings will be more important to him than keeping up his calls with her. If he doesnt understand why you feel the way you do, or he doesnt care, dump him and move on with your life. If he says that he will, tell him that he needs to tell her to stop calling him. If he balks at this, you need to tell him that if he doesnt, then YOU will call her and tell her and that he'd probably prefer to do it himself. If he doesnt want to do that, then he probably isnt over her and you need to get away from this guy and find yourself someone who will treat you right.

 

In my situation, he stopped calling her and stopped taking her calls. She still calls him but he doesnt answer when she calls, so I knew I had me a winner (and it's about time too...soooo sick of dealing with jerks!). If your guy respects you, then he'll do this for you. If not, tell him to go pound salt

[Blondeambition]

She just opened the account 2 weeks ago! We've had several discussions on this and I've been completely honest how I feel. He's told me he has told her several times not to call, however she still does and now he's calling her as well. He figures I have nothing to worry about, he has no feelings for her and she has moved on (yeah right). What's ironic is the day we met he told me he had broken up with his g/f however she would not go away, that she stalked him and spied on him when they were together. On our first date she came barging in and started screaming at him, and for months afterward she would tell him nasty stories about me and tell him I was just using him, I was going back to my ex etc, etc. Now he wants to be her friend! I just don't get it.

[AngelicDevl]

Sounds to me like your man doesnt know what he really wants. If he didnt want to talk to her, he wouldnt call her, end of story. If he really cared that it was bothering you this much, he wouldnt call her and he also wouldnt answer her calls to him. This is just my opinion though. I, for one, wouldnt stand for it if my bf were disrespecting my feelings like that. Have you asked him how he would like it if the roles were reversed? Make him put himself in your position and see what he says. The fact that the psycho just got the screen name speaks volumes. Your man should be calling her for one reason: to tell her to stop using his last name and to leave him alone, and that should be the final contact. This girl is obviously unstable if she's done all this psycho stalker-esque stuff. Make sure you remain composed and keep your head held high. DO NOT back down from whatever stance you choose to take, oitherwise he'll only learn that if he wants to get away with something you dont like, justkeep at it because you wont follow thru on your threats/promises. Tell him it must stop...NOW. Not tomorrow or next week. NOW. If he refuses to stop contacting her, get rid of him. It'll hurt to do at first, but you'll save yourself alot of long-term suffering and emotional stress.