AmericanHoney Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I went on a few dates and I thought we hit it off but now he wants sex and I told him i'm not that kind of girl and he said aww you don't want me?? I said I do but not in the form of sex and he just doesn't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 What? The kind of girl to have sex? If you aren't interested in sex this earlier - found someone like yourself. Don't stress over someone who doesn't have the same views as yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 I have dated alot of guys but most of them respect my wishes but this guy doesn't seem to. Are all guys like this?? Maybe I am missing something?? Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 What? The kind of girl to have sex? If you aren't interested in sex this earlier - found someone like yourself. Don't stress over someone who doesn't have the same views as yourself. EXACTLY! And no, absolutely not, not all guys are like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Kalinka Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I have dated alot of guys but most of them respect my wishes but this guy doesn't seem to. Are all guys like this?? Maybe I am missing something?? Relax, you just happened to find a guy that doesn't agree with not holding off the sex. Find someone who will respect that. This is also a red flag that he is wanting sex in the earlier stages of sex. Did you hint at anything that might have seemed like you wanted it? Any sexual jokes, etc., or it could be he's just a dog and treats most woman like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 Okay I wasn't sure. I dated alot of nice guys and they respected me but this guy says he is attacted to me but wants to have sex with me really bad. I am guessing he wants a FWB type of thing.I do flirt alot and talk dirty but I do that with all of my friends. It doesn't mean I want sex! Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 EXACTLY! And no, absolutely not, not all guys are like that. Some guys are just because they think they should be. It's sort of like, "guys don't cry", of course they do, it's not a biological thing, it's a cultural thing. You don't cry, you jump anything that move. Only some do cry & some don't just want sex. Find a like guy, it's a little tougher because they aren't crawling out of the woodwork wanting nothing but your flesh:) but there out there & in greater numbers than the creeps. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Okay I wasn't sure. I dated alot of nice guys and they respected me but this guy says he is attacted to me but wants to have sex with me really bad. I am guessing he wants a FWB type of thing.I do flirt alot and talk dirty but I do that with all of my friends. It doesn't mean I want sex! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO happy I am not attracted to women. This is all types of wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 It might be he only wants sex. It might equally be that sex is important enough to him that he feels it should happen from the early stages of dating onwards. If his attitude to sex isn't compatible with yours, date someone else. This is a compatibility issue, not a respect one. He's just not right for you, and doesn't want to pretend to be something he's not. Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I went on a few dates and I thought we hit it off but now he wants sex and I told him i'm not that kind of girl and he said aww you don't want me?? I said I do but not in the form of sex and he just doesn't get it. A few dates? Drop him...see how fast he'll "get it" that you aren't looking for a pump and dump or a temporary good time. You call the rules when it comes to your heart and body. If he's going to walk away because you're not putting out after a few dates, then it speaks clearly how he's not right for you. NOW...if you're just not into sex in general, then you might want to see some counsel as to why. I know most good men have no issue with taking it slow, waiting, etc...but if it's a woman who simply does not like sex at all...then we see that as a "red flag". Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Okay I wasn't sure. I dated alot of nice guys and they respected me but this guy says he is attacted to me but wants to have sex with me really bad. I am guessing he wants a FWB type of thing.I do flirt alot and talk dirty but I do that with all of my friends. It doesn't mean I want sex! Then don't send mixed messages and then act confused about the response you get. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Okay I wasn't sure. I dated alot of nice guys and they respected me but this guy says he is attacted to me but wants to have sex with me really bad. I am guessing he wants a FWB type of thing.I do flirt alot and talk dirty but I do that with all of my friends. It doesn't mean I want sex! You talk dirty with your friends??? Slut! Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 I just wonder if I have sex big if I have sex do you think we will be more serious?? I always heard if you have sex it does complicate things but sometimes it makes you closer. I guess I watch too many Sex and the Cities lol I am not a slut:p when I talk dirty I mean like hey I would totally tap that or my guy friends and I talk about sex. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Okay I wasn't sure. I dated alot of nice guys and they respected me but this guy says he is attacted to me but wants to have sex with me really bad. I am guessing he wants a FWB type of thing.I do flirt alot and talk dirty but I do that with all of my friends. It doesn't mean I want sex! Then don't send mixed messages and then act confused about the response you get. I mean; does this guy know you well enough to know that you just flirt a lot & talk dirty to everyone, or are you sending mixed messages? Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I just wonder if I have sex big if I have sex do you think we will be more serious?? I always heard if you have sex it does complicate things but sometimes it makes you closer. I guess I watch too many Sex and the Cities lol I am not a slut:p when I talk dirty I mean like hey I would totally tap that or my guy friends and I talk about sex. I am confused a hell at what exactly your question is. What exactly are you asking? Do not hold out on sex because you think that it will make him stay, do not give sex because you thnk it will make him stay. If you are wanting a relationship. Wait until you guys have made it official and have become exclusive. If want to have sex with him go ahead. However, teasing him is not right. I really don't understand why women do this. If I want to **** a guy - teasing is A-ok. However if I don't want sex right now - I won't talk sex with a guy. Mix signals are stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 I don't want sex but I keep thinking maybe if I do it might bring us closer or it might complicate things. I do think about sex alot and i haven't had it since my last ex but I don't want to rush things but at the same time I kinda want sex but I just don't know if that is the only thing he wants and does he want a FWB type of thing. I guess I should ask him lol Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I really don't understand why women do this. teasing is A-ok. However if I don't want sex right now - I won't talk sex with a guy. Mix signals are stupid. THANK YOU! and by the way, "Sex in the City " is a good TV show but like any TV show, I wouldn't be taking life ques from them. Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 AmericanHoney, help us out here. 1) How many dates have you had with this guy? 2) How long (in weeks or months) have you been seeing him? 3) How far have you two gone? Nothing? Dirty talk? Making out? Feeling one another up? Oral sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 Talking for 2 weeks and we have been on 2 dates. He lives an hr away from me so I don't get to see him much so we talk via skype. I have had oral feeling each other up but no sex. I guess he kinda expects it now...... Driving an hr away he wants something for his trouble per say. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Talking for 2 weeks and we have been on 2 dates. He lives an hr away from me so I don't get to see him much so we talk via skype. I have had oral feeling each other up but no sex. I guess he kinda expects it now...... Driving an hr away he wants something for his trouble per say. For his trouble? Please remember you are reffering to yourself - not a piece of trash. You already had sex with him,you know that right? Of course he is going to want more - it has been two dates and you have had SEX with him. Sorry but you are that "girl". Whatever the hell that means. If you think things are moving too fast .... STOP IT! Don't do anything you don't want. However in my opinion holding out on sex at this point is stupid. Since you already have had sex. Like I said in my opinion. Don't do anything you don't want. You have to remember actions speak louder than words. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I went on a few dates and I thought we hit it off but now he wants sex and I told him i'm not that kind of girl and he said aww you don't want me?? I said I do but not in the form of sex and he just doesn't get it. Well he's either being dense or he needs a clue. Are you trying to tell him that you don't want sex with him at all, or just not yet. I can't really tell from your post if he's pestering you for sex or if he's just trying to find out your views on sex (with him). Perhaps your dating style is to not have sex until you're in an exclusive relationship and he's your boyfriend (which is fine) or until some other milestones have been reached. If he's asking for sex sooner then that then maybe the two of you are looking for different things, but if you explain what you want then maybe he'll say "Okay, I'd like to get to know you better, too. Let's go on some more dates and leave sex for the future." Or maybe he'll run away, in which case you haven't lost anything worth having. Talking about sex before getting to the bedroom is a healthy idea! Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Talking for 2 weeks and we have been on 2 dates. He lives an hr away from me so I don't get to see him much so we talk via skype. I have had oral feeling each other up but no sex. I guess he kinda expects it now...... Driving an hr away he wants something for his trouble per say. Well, I think you moved a bit fast. The oral thing in many ways can tell a guy you're ready to go all the way. Hour away or not, he knew the risks when he got involved with you. If he's being impatient then seek another man who will be patient. I think the only remedy is simply to lay it out there. Let him know you're just not ready yet with him to go there. Let him know it doesn't mean you wouldn't at some point soon, but this is moving too fast for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 I talked it over with my cousin today and she said girl if he respected you he wouldn't do that and telling you the line aww you don't want me is a line. She told me if a guy is telling you this early he isn't worth your time or your self-respect. I guess I can be kinda naive and worry about what he thinks or will he leave but as my cousin says so what if he does? If he cannot respect you he is not worth your time period. Link to post Share on other sites
thehead Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I talked it over with my cousin today and she said girl if he respected you he wouldn't do that and telling you the line aww you don't want me is a line. She told me if a guy is telling you this early he isn't worth your time or your self-respect. I guess I can be kinda naive and worry about what he thinks or will he leave but as my cousin says so what if he does? If he cannot respect you he is not worth your time period. Did you tell your cousin you gave him oral? Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 "the aww don't you like me" line is somewhat manipulative though. If she doesn't want to have sex this early in the dating process and wants to see if the guy likes her for more than just her p*ssy, then I don't see the issue. If you don't want it(sex) yet and need more time to get a sense of the type of relationship he wants, then don't let yourself get pressured into sex and stick to your plan and hold out until you have your answer. From what I understand OP simply doesn't want to end up getting hurt. She wants something serious, but isn't sure if he's wants more than just sex, so she wants to wait until she does know. Am I right OP? Link to post Share on other sites
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