acuomo78 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I have been with my husband on and off for 20 years. He was 15 and I was thirteen when we met. Two years ago we got married. I knew that we had some problems but I honestly thought that our love for each other would see us through. Over the last couple of months he had been running to his best friends house alot and leaving me alone. I thought he just needed some time for him. Even though I was screaming for attention from my husband he went over to his friends house. I went out of town to see my parents for my birthday. He went to his friends house. I called him to see if he would answer his phone--he did-- usually he did not answer his phone when he was with his friend. Later that night I called 17 times and he didn't answer. I finally texted him that I wanted a divorce. I thought maybe this would get him to see how frustrated I was with the situation. I came back home on Sunday to him still being at his friends house. I asked him to come home so we could talk. He came home but only to say if you want a divorce you got one. Over the next week I tried going to marriage counseling. He went twice with me then said things are to screwed up and not worth fixing. Overnight he has turned into this cold, heartless person. Telling me that he never loved me and he doesn't know why he married me. He doesn't want to try and work things out. He doesn't even want to talk about it. He says he just wants to be free. I am so confused and hurt. It has only been two weeks he has already started to seperate everything we had together. I have told him that I do not want a divorce, I want to work things out. He keeps saying that it is over and I need to move on. I don't understand how a person can be so loving and caring one minute then so cruel and uncaring the next. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) He sounds like my wife here we only been married 13 years and I am older than her. But she's rude, cruel, selfish, and she doesn't love me, she wants to be free do whatever she wants, come and go as she please and don't have to listen to anyone except her rotten self. I use to care about her so much but I can't do it anymore! Yes it hurts inside but here isn't much you can do. Your husband is selfish and pretty much does what my wife does. Goes over her single girl friends houses and then go to Comedy clubs to let men buy them drinks and dinner for free. Take in a movie also and do other things. I am not like I am in the marriage for keeps but now have to break that off because I have a cheater who texts men 24/7. Never home anymore, doesn't do anything here except for crashing into the bed. Drunk and looks like a tramp! The best advise I can give you to end what you think you have with this man. He's not around as you would like. He's not listening to what your needs are. He's changed. When they change they're cheating or doing something they can't get when they're with you. I see how my wife is not and I am sure you seeing the same in sort of way. MC really can't do anything, I've been to one with the wife, he told her to stop taking control and let me know what's going on. But she decided never to go back to the MC as he was never on her side but they don't take sides they must try to figure out what's the problem and it's the wife and not me. In your case it's your husband and not you. Edited June 21, 2011 by coolheadal Link to post Share on other sites
lonley73 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I'm so sorry you are going through this. Are you sure there isn't someone else? I know that is hard to hear or imagine, but I only mention it because my first husband had an overnight change like you described and I later found out it was because there was someone new in his life. He was very cruel and cold hearted and I couldn't understand why until I learned that he was having an affair and wanted me to end the relationship so that he could be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author acuomo78 Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Thank you for all the advice. I don't think there is someone else but you never know. I really care for my husband and always have. All I ever wanted was for us to be a family, raise the kids and grow old together. I feel like all of my dreams have been sqwashed in one night. Link to post Share on other sites
Damia Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Sad to say I think Lonley73 may be correct.The possibility that there is someone else is very high. I to have been in the same situation. Your H may be pushing you to make the ultimate decision so he looks/feels better. Take a step back ,try NC ,see if he mans up ,don't rush into anything and look after yourself first Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Thank you for all the advice. I don't think there is someone else but you never know. I really care for my husband and always have. All I ever wanted was for us to be a family, raise the kids and grow old together. I feel like all of my dreams have been sqwashed in one night. Well you could go over to the friends house at night around 9pm and see what's going on for yourself. Or hire a private investigator to see what's really going with your husband. These are some options you can do, if you really want to hold on to him. But you might not find anything more than you know. I felt the same with the wife, have kids with her and raise them! That's all destroyed. As I would be the only one taking care of them she would just drop it in my lap and go out and party still. Shame.. Link to post Share on other sites
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