Karala Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 A letter to my just-3-weeks-ago-to-the-hour self, Hey, I know how you're feeling right this moment. I know you feel like you will never be able to do it, no way on earth, and even if a bunch of people tell you they felt the same and they did do it and they're so glad they did because their healing finally took off and they're so much better off now, you believe you're the one person on the planet for whom it isn't true. Guess what... You aren't. Which is sad... (so much for the eternal suffering romantic fantasy) ...AND GREAT! (because who wants to pine away forever for someone who rejected them, right) Yes, you're gonna feel like sh*t and then some more. It's gonna hurt. But... just not half as much as you thought it would. I promise! Three weeks from now, you will just be wondering why on earth it took you so long to do it. You'll remember how horrible you'd been for over 3 months, like time had frozen and you would stay in this heart-wrenching gut-wrenching pain forever. And you'll go... wow. I guess I am much, much stronger than I ever even thought. I can't even begin to tell you how different you'll feel about everything just 3 weeks from now. I know you can't believe it now, but seriously, that is how short a period of time it will take you to start thinking "What... the f*ck WAS I THINKING???" I won't tell you too much about it because I know how hard it is to believe for you right now, and you'll think I'm just full of sh*t. And also, I know that you don't even want to believe me right now. I know that some part of you doesn't even want to get over it. Well, take that part of you aside and tell it this from me: the love you feel, that beautiful feeling that kept you going for years, you don't need to give it up. In fact, the sooner you do what you gotta do, the sooner you can feel free to feel this love and not have it tainted by bitterness, regret, despair, hate, jealousy and all of that stuff. Let go of the attachement, but hang on to your love, and in the end it will set you free, instead of keeping you emprisoned. Hang in there love, see you in 3 weeks :] Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Wow!! Congratulations Karala!! :bunny: (There you go! A bunny for each week of NC! ) Love this letter you wrote to yourself! Very inspiring! Makes me wish I'd done something similar. Because my life has been a total mess for the last 5 months, with LC and delusional denial (which still keeps me company by the way, I can't deny it). I really hope when I sort out my stuff situation and go NC forever (because as sad as it makes me, I know this is likely the only real way forward for long suffering, fantasy obsessed, unrequited-love-prone types like myself) that I can stay as strong as you and give myself motivational letters that are even half as self-inspiring as this! Thanks for sharing! Link to post Share on other sites
california15 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Awesome. I really enjoyed reading this! Alot. I wonder what it was about 3 weeks?! I posted an exactly 3 week update on the B/U forum yesterday because I feel like I've come a long way too. I read my first entry, the origional thread, and then I read the one I posted last night and even I can tell a difference. Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 How are you guys able to feel so much better with only 3 weeks NC? I don't know how you do it, but I think you're amazing!! I think my depression isn't just about my break up anymore, its more a general depression and loneliness too, and my poor physical health has prevented me from doing a lot of whats recommending (i.e. exercising, going out to meet new people etc) so I guess thats why I've been stuck here for so long. Oh well, I'll keep trying. Link to post Share on other sites
Kuite09 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Today is my 3 weeks of NC and I still feel so down and sad. I can't believe Ive actually done it though, the past 2 days all Ive been wanting to do is call him. Now I just feel like he doesnt even care since he hasnt contact me in 3 weeks. I feel hurt and I just feel like hes seriously moving on....should I still have hope? Ugh I hate this feeling! Link to post Share on other sites
nlpman Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 How are you guys able to feel so much better with only 3 weeks NC? I don't know how you do it, but I think you're amazing!! I think my depression isn't just about my break up anymore, its more a general depression and loneliness too, and my poor physical health has prevented me from doing a lot of whats recommending (i.e. exercising, going out to meet new people etc) so I guess thats why I've been stuck here for so long. Oh well, I'll keep trying. Try St Johns wort, Omega 3 oils, 5htp take them all together every day for a fast working natural anti depressant. See your doctor. Book an appointment with a counsellor. Do whatever it takes but do it now, do it for yourself and start healing. Take baby steps first to get yourself going then the universe steps in with some help! Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Today is my 3 weeks of NC and I still feel so down and sad. I can't believe Ive actually done it though, the past 2 days all Ive been wanting to do is call him. Now I just feel like he doesnt even care since he hasnt contact me in 3 weeks. I feel hurt and I just feel like hes seriously moving on....should I still have hope? Ugh I hate this feeling! I definitely relate to that feeling. I stupidly send an over the top email to my ex about 3-4 weeks ago and he hasn't contacted me at all since then! We did have LC before that, but I guess he's completely given up on me, as it was quite obvious in my email that I am still very much in love with him and wanting him back. And now I don't know what he thinks of me. I can guess that he thinks I'm an insecure wreak and if he does think this then he'd be spot on. Try St Johns wort, Omega 3 oils, 5htp take them all together every day for a fast working natural anti depressant. See your doctor. Book an appointment with a counsellor. Do whatever it takes but do it now, do it for yourself and start healing. Take baby steps first to get yourself going then the universe steps in with some help! Good Luck Thanks for the advice. Will try them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karala Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Awesome. I really enjoyed reading this! Alot. I wonder what it was about 3 weeks?! I posted an exactly 3 week update on the B/U forum yesterday because I feel like I've come a long way too. I read my first entry, the origional thread, and then I read the one I posted last night and even I can tell a difference. Thanks :] Yes, I've heard it countless times that it takes 3 weeks to really get a new habit into your system... I'm not over my ex by such a long shot it ain't even funny, but I definitely do feel very different compared to 3 weeks ago. I'm so frustrated at my old self from February, I want to tell her to let go already because she's just wasting time and making it worse for herself... Better late then never! Link to post Share on other sites
Kuite09 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I definitely relate to that feeling. I stupidly send an over the top email to my ex about 3-4 weeks ago and he hasn't contacted me at all since then! We did have LC before that, but I guess he's completely given up on me, as it was quite obvious in my email that I am still very much in love with him and wanting him back. And now I don't know what he thinks of me. I can guess that he thinks I'm an insecure wreak and if he does think this then he'd be spot on. Thanks for the advice. Will try them. Ruined, I know exactly how you feel, I love my ex like crazy it was 7 yrs. Here is my story in case you want to read http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t283928/ The part that hurts the most is that he continued to tell me he loves me that last time we spoke and it just makes me wonder do I still have a chance with him? I made several mistakes in the relationship that I don't think he can get over. I feel like 3 weeks with NC is super long, I don't want it to 3 months, I just want my phone to ring and let it be him even if I don't answer his call. Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Ruined, I know exactly how you feel, I love my ex like crazy it was 7 yrs. Here is my story in case you want to read http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t283928/ The part that hurts the most is that he continued to tell me he loves me that last time we spoke and it just makes me wonder do I still have a chance with him? I made several mistakes in the relationship that I don't think he can get over. I feel like 3 weeks with NC is super long, I don't want it to 3 months, I just want my phone to ring and let it be him even if I don't answer his call. *sighs* Yes me too... Oh well, have to try and distract myself by counting bunnies.. 1 bunny 2 bunny 3 bunny Noooooo I love my ex... I love him... damn those bunnies!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kuite09 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I definitely relate to that feeling. I stupidly send an over the top email to my ex about 3-4 weeks ago and he hasn't contacted me at all since then! We did have LC before that, but I guess he's completely given up on me, as it was quite obvious in my email that I am still very much in love with him and wanting him back. And now I don't know what he thinks of me. I can guess that he thinks I'm an insecure wreak and if he does think this then he'd be spot on. Thanks for the advice. Will try them. *sighs* Yes me too... Oh well, have to try and distract myself by counting bunnies.. 1 bunny 2 bunny 3 bunny Noooooo I love my ex... I love him... damn those bunnies!! How long were you guys together for? and when did you break up? Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 How long were you guys together for? and when did you break up? We were together 3 years and broke up over 5 months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karala Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 How long were you guys together for? and when did you break up? You wouldn't mind doing the chatting in your own thread and letting me relish in my own self-satisfaction, lol, would you? Link to post Share on other sites
Kuite09 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 We were together 3 years and broke up over 5 months ago. There years is a long time too, so I am guessing that before you went on NC for 3 weeks, you were still in contact with him? It took you a few months to do NC didnt it? Its hard I know. Link to post Share on other sites
RuinedLife Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 You wouldn't mind doing the chatting in your own thread and letting me relish in my own self-satisfaction, lol, would you? Sorry Karala. *hangs head in shame* Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karala Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Oh, no biggie! True though that I wanted to keep this thread mostly devoted to my own satisfaction over this mini-milestone :] I still have a looong way to go... but I'm happy I made it this far already, and I guess what I really want to convey out to people out there is that NC IS the way to go... Just in case you hadn't heard about it enough times already... lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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