So I talked to her. Yep, you can guess the outcome!

[one goal]

We chatted via text this afternoon for like over an hour again. She's been very chatty!

 

What does this mean that she keeps talking to me?

 

I mean is that at least a good sign she's not creeped out by me like the teacher was?

[oaks]

I mean is that at least a good sign she's not creeped out by me like the teacher was?

 

Maybe, and you've already told us that she told you that she wasn't creeped out by you asking her out.

 

It doesn't, however, mean that she wants you to bone her. Move on. Find another girl.

 

 

I sense that I'm going to be repeating myself again soon.

[one goal]

Maybe, and you've already told us that she told you that she wasn't creeped out by you asking her out.

 

It doesn't, however, mean that she wants you to bone her. Move on. Find another girl.

 

 

I sense that I'm going to be repeating myself again soon.

 

So what's wrong with chatting with her, being friends?

[utterer of lies]

So what's wrong with chatting with her, being friends?

 

Do you want to be a platonic friend to her?

[one goal]

Do you want to be a platonic friend to her?

 

What does that mean?

 

People are bashing me here, when I did everything right with her when I asked her out.

[utterer of lies]

What does that mean?

Do you want to be her friend, even if it's clear she only wants you as a friend and not a boyfriend?

 

So she'll talk with you and joke and smile, but you'll never have sex together?

[oaks]

So what's wrong with chatting with her, being friends?

 

Are you sure you just want to be friends with her? Also, if the underlying complaint is that you can't get a girlfriend, why are you wasting time on this girl who isn't interested in dating you?

[oaks]

People are bashing me here, when I did everything right with her when I asked her out.

 

Yes, you did, but now you're doing it wrong. She rejected you. **** happens. Many people told you before you asked her out that if she said 'no' that you need to move on, and now you're clearly not following that advice, so some people are being critical.

[one goal]

Are you sure you just want to be friends with her? Also, if the underlying complaint is that you can't get a girlfriend, why are you wasting time on this girl who isn't interested in dating you?

 

Cause at least she talks to me, and is nice to me. At least it's a start.

[Trimmer]

People are bashing me here, when I did everything right with her when I asked her out.

That's true, and I commend you for it. Where you run into trouble is in whether you can "do things right" in the next steps. Please answer UoL's questions:

Do you want to be her friend, even if it's clear she only wants you as a friend and not a boyfriend?

 

So she'll talk with you and joke and smile, but you'll never have sex together?

 

This will tell you whether you are ready to continue interacting with her as a friend, and still be able to stay on the right side of the boundary that she set out...

[AlexDP]

You're starting that creepy stuff again.....I am disappoint, one goal.

 

I'm going to have to disagree. This girl is texting back. She's actually talking with him. And if what he says is true, she likes to talk to him. As long as he understand he's a FRIEND and someone she is not going to date, it is fine IMO. Now he shouldn't go overboard with the texting and stuff, but I think that a female friend is huge for one goal. It could help him.

[Trimmer]

I'm going to have to disagree. This girl is texting back. She's actually talking with him. And if what he says is true, she likes to talk to him. As long as he understand he's a FRIEND and someone she is not going to date, it is fine IMO. Now he shouldn't go overboard with the texting and stuff, but I think that a female friend is huge for one goal. It could help him.

I agree. So far, he's done just fine in his behavior. And I agree that whether he can continue on with being a friendly classmate will depend on wiether he understands and accepts that boundary of friendly interaction.

 

 

Cause at least she talks to me, and is nice to me. At least it's a start.

And here's an important thing you should understand: It's not "a start." In fact, it's everything, and it's the only thing. It's not the beginning of something bigger, it's an acquaintance between friendly classmates, and no more. If you can accept this - and live by it - then you will be able to continue interacting with her on a friendly basis, and things will be just fine.

 

If you consider it "a start" at something bigger, and try to build it into a closer "relationship", you will crash it into the wall again.

 

I think it will help you to answer the question directly: do you understand, and can you accept that this will ONLY be a friendly relationship between classmates, and do you understand and can you accept that this will NOT become any kind of romantic, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?

[one goal]

I agree. So far, he's done just fine in his behavior. And I agree that whether he can continue on with being a friendly classmate will depend on wiether he understands and accepts that boundary of friendly interaction.

 

 

 

And here's an important thing you should understand: It's not "a start." In fact, it's everything, and it's the only thing. It's not the beginning of something bigger, it's an acquaintance between friendly classmates, and no more. If you can accept this - and live by it - then you will be able to continue interacting with her on a friendly basis, and things will be just fine.

 

If you consider it "a start" at something bigger, and try to build it into a closer "relationship", you will crash it into the wall again.

 

I think it will help you to answer the question directly: do you understand, and can you accept that this will ONLY be a friendly relationship between classmates, and do you understand and can you accept that this will NOT become any kind of romantic, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?

 

So why can't she change her mind? What makes it that she wont change her mind?

 

Should I expect to talk to her a lot once the semester is over and she is a couple hours away at school?

[welikeincrowds]

So why can't she change her mind? What makes it that she wont change her mind?

 

Have you ever personally experienced a situation where a girl that has rejected you later changed her mind?

 

Please answer these questions at your next convenience:

 

Do you want to be her friend, even if it's clear she only wants you as a friend and not a boyfriend?

 

So she'll talk with you and joke and smile, but you'll never have sex together?

[Trimmer]

So why can't she change her mind? What makes it that she wont change her mind?

There's no telling, but your history shows that if you proceed with the assumption that she might change her mind, you are very likely to drive her away, and possibly scare her.

 

So if you are proceeding with the idea that she might change her mind, my advice for you would be to step away and move on to prevent yourself from creating that uncomfortable situation.

 

Should I expect to talk to her a lot once the semester is over and she is a couple hours away at school?

Don't worry about what to expect a month or two away. Concern yourself with how you will behave now.

 

Please answer honestly:

Do you want to be her friend, even if it's clear she only wants you as a friend and not a boyfriend?

 

So she'll talk with you and joke and smile, but you'll never have sex together?

Edited June 27, 2011 by Trimmer

[one goal]

There's no telling, but your history shows that if you proceed with the assumption that she might change her mind, you are very likely to drive her away, and possibly scare her.

 

So if you are proceeding with the idea that she might change her mind, my advice for you would be to step away and move on to prevent yourself from creating that uncomfortable situation.

 

 

Don't worry about what to expect a month or two away. Concern yourself with how you will behave now.

 

Please answer honestly:

 

Yea I still want to be friends with her if she didn't want to be me bf.

 

However until then since she is single, I just want advice on how to make her interested if she decides to date soon.

[whichwayisup]

Yea I still want to be friends with her if she didn't want to be me bf.

 

However until then since she is single, I just want advice on how to make her interested if she decides to date soon.

 

Here we go again.

 

Give up on this girl. She doesn't want to date you, she's not interested and the more you push yourself into her life, be her friend, try too hard, she's gonna bolt and run the other way. Let..It...Go....

 

Move on...........

 

Forget about her..........

 

Find another girl to hit on. It seems all you're after is SEX and women smell that a mile away which is probably why they run from you. You try too hard and come off a certain way.

[oaks]

However until then since she is single, I just want advice on how to make her interested if she decides to date soon.

 

If that's what you're asking for then I'm going to bow out of this thread. My previous advice (to move on) is still what I recommend that you do, and I'm concerned that your motivation towards continued contact with this girl is contrary to her clear rejection of you. In other words, she's not interested. If she was you would've been on a date by now.

[somedude81]

OG, it sounds like you really need to get some more experience with girls.

 

My suggestion is to do whatever you want with her. Don't be afraid to crash and burn which may happen sooner or later. Just if she actually gets mad at you and tells you to leave her alone, respect her wishes and do so, without asking why.

 

One thing you have to stop doing is asking girls for permission. It looks weak, and girls are not attracted to weakness. If you want to sit next to her, do it. If she doesn't want you to, she will tell you no or look annoyed.

 

Now that you are starting to have some rapport with her, invite her to get some lunch with you. "Are you hungry? Lets get lunch" Is all you need to say. Forget about the dating thing and just get to know her. It may also be best for you to make her think you just want to be friends.

[Knittress]

OG, it sounds like you really need to get some more experience with girls. My suggestion is to do whatever you want with her.

 

DANGEROUS advice to give this guy. Have you READ his other threads?

 

One thing you have to stop doing is asking girls for permission. It looks weak, and girls are not attracted to weakness. If you want to sit next to her, do it. If she doesn't want you to, she will tell you no or look annoyed.

 

Again, since he doesn't pick up on social cues and charges at obviously inappropriate women despite their discomfort and all advice from LSers, I think this is a HORRIBLE thing to say. He's a bit of a stalker, not a passively-sweet shy guy - so don't give that find-your-balls pep talk.

[somedude81]

DANGEROUS advice to give this guy. Have you READ his other threads?

That's why I finished the sentence with telling him to back off if she tells him off.

 

Once it happens, and I'm pretty sure it will, it's a good test for him, to see if he can grow.

 

Again, since he doesn't pick up on social cues and charges at obviously inappropriate women despite their discomfort and all advice from LSers, I think this is a HORRIBLE thing to say. He's a bit of a stalker, not a passively-sweet shy guy - so don't give that find-your-balls pep talk.

Oh he is also a shy guy.

 

I want to see if he can change.

[one goal]

OG, it sounds like you really need to get some more experience with girls.

 

My suggestion is to do whatever you want with her. Don't be afraid to crash and burn which may happen sooner or later. Just if she actually gets mad at you and tells you to leave her alone, respect her wishes and do so, without asking why.

 

One thing you have to stop doing is asking girls for permission. It looks weak, and girls are not attracted to weakness. If you want to sit next to her, do it. If she doesn't want you to, she will tell you no or look annoyed.

 

Now that you are starting to have some rapport with her, invite her to get some lunch with you. "Are you hungry? Lets get lunch" Is all you need to say. Forget about the dating thing and just get to know her. It may also be best for you to make her think you just want to be friends.

 

I tried asking her that. See my earlier thread. I did just that. Asked her out to lunch, and she said she wasn't looking for a relationship and didn't have time, and said she broke up with her bf not long ago and wants to stay single.

[somedude81]

Most girls I've said that to had no idea I was interested in them.

 

Do you remember what you said to her. Because that's a really big stretch from her to tell you that she isn't looking for a relationship because you invited her to lunch.

 

Also an impromptu thing is much easier for her to say yes to, than you calling her and trying to set it up for a future day.

[one goal]

Most girls I've said that to had no idea I was interested in them.

 

Do you remember what you said to her. Because that's a really big stretch from her to tell you that she isn't looking for a relationship because you invited her to lunch.

 

Also an impromptu thing is much easier for her to say yes to, than you calling her and trying to set it up for a future day.

 

Went something like this

 

"Hey since we dont get to talk to each other in class much I was wondering maybe next week I could take you out to lunch or go hangout somewhere and get to know each other better."

[somedude81]

Yup, that's way too much.

 

You scared her off.

 

Can you tell how what you said and what I said are different? How a girl might interpret them?