So I talked to her. Yep, you can guess the outcome!

[somedude81]

Dude why do you keep making these threads is you're going to ignore almost everybody who posts?

 

Do you want help or not?

[onegoal's conscience]

Dude why do you keep making these threads is you're going to ignore almost everybody who posts?

 

Do you want help or not?

 

He's been ignoring me for years.

[SmileFace]

He's been ignoring me for years.

:lmao:

[rafallus]

^This is hilarious. I'm subbing.

[oaks]

Will I have a better chance when I attend the University in the fall?

 

If your method of trying to meet girls is only waiting until circumstances force you to be in the same room (eg because you have a class with them) then yes. But that also means having poor chances between now and then, and that doesn't sound like a fun way to spend the summer!

 

If you actually want to meet girls this summer then there are plenty of other places they hide! You just have to go and look. There's no reason why you can't find girls to ask out over the summer but you have to be a big brave boy and take positive action to do something about it.

[oaks]

Dude why do you keep making these threads is you're going to ignore almost everybody who posts?

 

Do you want help or not?

 

Give him some credit... he actually asked a girl out yesterday. That's more than a lot of the single male posters here can boast!

[TheLawmaker]

Give him some credit... he actually asked a girl out yesterday. That's more than a lot of the single male posters here can boast!

 

True, very true. I still haven't gotten to that point.

[one goal]

If your method of trying to meet girls is only waiting until circumstances force you to be in the same room (eg because you have a class with them) then yes. But that also means having poor chances between now and then, and that doesn't sound like a fun way to spend the summer!

 

If you actually want to meet girls this summer then there are plenty of other places they hide! You just have to go and look. There's no reason why you can't find girls to ask out over the summer but you have to be a big brave boy and take positive action to do something about it.

 

I dunno, I just like this girl a lot. Is it okay I ask her if she wants to meet up and work on our school work together?

[TheLawmaker]

I dunno, I just like this girl a lot. Is it okay I ask her if she wants to meet up and work on our school work together?

 

Yes, it's okay.

 

He'll ask her out.

 

No, it's not okay.

 

He'll ask her out.

 

Dude, get it through your freaking brain! This girl DOES NOT WANT YOU!!!!!!!

[one goal]

He'll ask her out.

 

 

 

He'll ask her out.

 

Dude, get it through your freaking brain! This girl DOES NOT WANT YOU!!!!!!!

 

I know that. I still want to be just friends with her.

[oaks]

I dunno, I just like this girl a lot. Is it okay I ask her if she wants to meet up and work on our school work together?

 

Tricky. She might think you're just trying to date her and she's already turned you down so she might think you are pestering her. However, you said that you and her had a long chat (text messages I think) and she wasn't creeped out by you asking her.

 

On balance I think it's best not to, because your motivation isn't really to do the school work but because you like her, and she made it clear that she doesn't want to date anyone right now. If you're going to anyway, then your least-worst option is to ask her to meet you in the school library or some other study area at school... that way you can focus on actually doing the school work and it isn't a date! but, be honest with yourself about your motivation for seeing her... if it isn't to do school work then consider that she's already said "no" and you Must respect that.

 

And, about respect, you should have respect for yourself, too. You're not doing yourself any favours if you keep focussing on this girl when she's already rejected you, and you'll find another girl sooner if you start looking sooner! Your continued 'feelings' or attraction for this girl, since she already turned you down, are poison towards your goal of having a girl go on a date with you because it's distracting you from finding the right girl.

 

Also, re-read what Cee said about crumbs at the bottom of page 4. Cee is wise.

Edited June 23, 2011 by oaks
emphasis on Must

[one goal]

Tricky. She might think you're just trying to date her and she's already turned you down so she might think you are pestering her. However, you said that you and her had a long chat (text messages I think) and she wasn't creeped out by you asking her.

 

On balance I think it's best not to, because your motivation isn't really to do the school work but because you like her, and she made it clear that she doesn't want to date anyone right now. If you're going to anyway, then your least-worst option is to ask her to meet you in the school library or some other study area at school... that way you can focus on actually doing the school work and it isn't a date! but, be honest with yourself about your motivation for seeing her... if it isn't to do school work then consider that she's already said "no" and you Must respect that.

 

And, about respect, you should have respect for yourself, too. You're not doing yourself any favours if you keep focussing on this girl when she's already rejected you, and you'll find another girl sooner if you start looking sooner! Your continued 'feelings' or attraction for this girl, since she already turned you down, are poison towards your goal of having a girl go on a date with you because it's distracting you from finding the right girl.

 

Also, re-read what Cee said about crumbs at the bottom of page 4. Cee is wise.

 

Yea I don't want to pester her. I'm not going to text her a million times a day. As the semester goes on there will be more work. If we have to meet up because of our project to work on, is it okay to buy her food for her?

[oaks]

As the semester goes on there will be more work. If we have to meet up because of our project to work on, is it okay to buy her food for her?

 

Again, I think you should consider your motivation. If it's because you like her then she's already said "no thanks" and you Must respect that. It's a boundary that she has set out that you must not cross. If, on the other hand, you are the sort of nice guy would would genuinely buy food for any other classmate while working on a project then, sure, go ahead and act like normal. I've taken cookies to meetings at work before, and I wasn't trying to ask out the cute girls in the meeting, but you need to make your own judgement about why you want to do this.

Edited June 23, 2011 by oaks
typo

[one goal]

Again, I think you should consider your motivation. If it's because you like her then she's already said "no thanks" and you Must respect that. It's a boundary that she has set out that you must not cross. If, on the other hand, you are the sort of nice guy would would genuinely buy food for any other classmate while working on a project then, sure, go ahead and act like normal. I've taken cookies to meetings at work before, and I wasn't trying to ask out the cute girls in the meeting, but you need to make your own judgement about why you want to do this.

 

Well I'd only buy for her because I want to be on friendly terms with her.

[Mme. Chaucer]

WHy wouldn't she be interested in going out with me during the end of the semester before she goes back to school?

 

It is not your concern. She doesn't want to, so she isn't going to.

 

I really want to go hangout with her. At least get something out of it. She is really cute.

 

"Get something out of it." That's creepy. So is "I want to bone her." Girls pick up on this type of creepiness, and that could be contributing to your troubles.

 

What are you doing about your "ISSUES"? I am talking about your Asperger syndrome, and your repetitive episodes of obsessive compulsive / stalkerish behavior?

 

Please answer me. What are you doing about these things? THESE ARE THE REASONS THAT GIRLS ARE NOT RESPONDING WELL TO YOU.

[oaks]

Well I'd only buy for her because I want to be on friendly terms with her.

 

So you wouldn't buy it for Jim or Mark or Edith or whoever else is in your class?

[Lilmisus]

So you wouldn't buy it for Jim or Mark or Edith or whoever else is in your class?

 

You and a few others here have got to be saints for being able to be so patient and to spell things out for him like this. Especially when you do it time and time again. I try to ignore his threads as often as possible, just because they give me a headache each time he raises a new question of "would this be okay...?" or "why not..?" I have good patience, but it's not that good.

 

Props to ya.

[Mme. Chaucer]

DO NOT BUY HER FOOD.

 

Your motives are all screwed up. And, you cannot control yourself. You'll be a stalking creepster before you know it if you don't just deal with her exactly the same as any other person on your project, and look for another focus for your dating interest.

[oaks]

You and a few others here have got to be saints for being able to be so patient and to spell things out for him like this. Especially when you do it time and time again.

 

Thanks. I was quite mean to him in some earlier threads but there's only so many times you can shout at a puppy for peeing on the carpet before you feel sorry for it. I don't think I'm destined for sainthood any time soon.

[somedude81]

Give him some credit... he actually asked a girl out yesterday. That's more than a lot of the single male posters here can boast!

Nah.

 

We have no idea how he asked her out, or how much he's even talked to her.

 

For all we know, he probably never said a word to her in class, and then sent her a text, "do you want to go on a date with me?"

 

And the he keeps asking questions here that won't get him anywhere.

[one goal]

Nah.

 

We have no idea how he asked her out, or how much he's even talked to her.

 

For all we know, he probably never said a word to her in class, and then sent her a text, "do you want to go on a date with me?"

 

And the he keeps asking questions here that won't get him anywhere.

 

I talked some in class but didn't get the chance to talk a lot. Hence why I asked if we could go out to lunch or something.

[oaks]

For all we know, he probably never said a word to her in class, and then sent her a text, "do you want to go on a date with me?"

 

I did think he was inventing it all back when he was infatuated with his teacher. I thought "nobody could be like this". Eventually I came round to thinking "nobody could make this up".

 

 

And the he keeps asking questions here that won't get him anywhere.

 

Yes, that's true. He needs to learn when and how to let go and move on.

[one goal]

It did make me feel a little better last night when she was texting me saying she seriously thought I was only around 20. I was shocked she talked to me for all that time.

[one goal]

Nah.

 

We have no idea how he asked her out, or how much he's even talked to her.

 

For all we know, he probably never said a word to her in class, and then sent her a text, "do you want to go on a date with me?"

 

And the he keeps asking questions here that won't get him anywhere.

 

I did ask her out over the phone. I talk to her some in class, but I admitted to her I'm kinda shy.

[AlexDP]

I've read some of your threads, one goal. I know what obsession feels like. I was involved with a borderline till February. They leave you obsessing about them. Initially I even tried to talk to her and all of a sudden I was called a stalker (utter nonsense, I mean, after a 6 month relationship in which you did a hell of a lot for a girl, you're sort of entitled to at least know what you supposedly did wrong). Now I haven't spoken to her in months. But suddenly her facebook profile isn't so private anymore. And the groups she joins all revolve around exes. With a borderline it's a mindgame, so there's a very good chance she's doing this to suck me back in.

 

But guess what? I don't care. You see obsession is a weird thing. It is fueled by actions. If you try to get a hold of someone and they ignore you, you start obsessing even harder (a borderline knows this and therefore often uses the silent treatment by the way). But the minute your actions imply you're not obsessed, your mental dynamic start to change as well. Don't look up her facebook page, don't text her, don't try to talk to her. Soon your mind will follow your actions and you will start to care less. Fact is, you're still thinking about this girl way too much. She's not going to be your girlfriend, so why does she deserve so much space in your head? How, why, when.. it doesn't matter anymore what you did or what she did. She's not going to be your girl. Ever.

 

As for being shocked she talked to you? What is that about, man? You're a person. Just like everybody else. No better, no worse (unless you start obsessing again). Try to develop some self esteem. It shouldn't be a surprise to you that people actually want to talk to you. It should be something that happens naturally. Get some hobbies, meet new people, become an interesting person who believes in himself. And if I were you, I'd start by seeking the help of a counselor. There's nothing wrong with trying to resolve your own issues. It makes you a better and more interesting person and someone who is more likely to get a girlfriend. Good luck, mate.